Once there lived a girl called groovy chick, she wanted to be skinny. One day she went to Mallorca and saw some dolphins and then watched coronation street and she met two girls called laura and melanie, when she got back groovy chick sponsered dog and then she went to Padstow where she met Paul Mccartney and they became friends, then they went to bubbleland and met a farmer and his sheepdog, then they went to ireland and visited Bodmin Jail where they fell deeply in love and got married and went to costa del sol for thier honeymoon, they then had kids and took them to visit blackpool where they all got eaten by lions.



By Mealnie Turner(: & Richard Corbett(:

One day, mary and wuith the 3rd were taking a stroll. Wuith had been telling mary about his new invention (knitted condoms) When suddenly Wuith had an idea.
"ith knowith lets test out my knitted condoms-ith!"
"Ok" replied mary and so they did. Unfortinatly, Wuith's invention did not work, and mary was up the duff!
"FUCK" said mary, "Josephs gonna bollock me, Wuith i don't want your chink babies!"
"Don't worry mary, just tell him an angel came and told you, you were to have a baby and he was to be the son of God."
"Oh, alreet, a will de, but what about his chinky eyes?" Said mary.
"Just give him plastic surgery when he's born, thats what my dad did" Expclamed wuith.
"I always wondered why you were the only chink in your family" Said mary.

So a few months past and mary the whore finally manged to tell joseph that the large lump growing on her tummy was actually the son of God.
Joseph didn't take this too well, so he went out and got pissed and after a few beers he came home and after a quick shag all was well with Mary and Joseph.

After 9 months, the baby was born. Except it wasn't jsut one chinky baby, IT WAS TWO!
"Holy fuck, they're chinks!" Screamed joseph.
"I didn't know God was a chink! We'll call them Jesus and Jebus." Said Mary.

Years past and after a whole lot of plastic surgery. Jesus and Jebus where just average jews but Jesus and Jebus did not see eye to eye. Jesus was the most good looking out of the two and all the girls fancied him and not Jebus. Joseph and Mary were ashamed of Jebus and so they kept him locked in the house until he was 24. Jebus got sick of this and eventually left home. He lived in a cave and ate Spiders for lunch.
But then one day, Jebus plucked up the courage to walk into town and meet all of the people his dashing brother was friends with.
"You look like an ugly verison of Jesus!" Said a random woman "He's the son of God you know!"
"Son of God? What the fuck?" Jebus answered.

Jebus saw Jesus in the distance but was too afraid to talk to him. So he hid in a tree with a man. "Hi, who are you? What are you doing in a tree?" Said Jebus.
"I'm Zachariusssss, the tax collectoer, I was too small to see Jesus from down there, he's the son of God you know"
Jebus just sighed.

Eventually Jebus made some friends and had a makeover and life was cush for Jebus. His main friend was called Bonzo. Bonzo hated Jesus, for reasons un-known. So Jesus and Bonzo plotted a plan to get Jesus crusified. His plan worked.
"This man is not the son of God, this man is the son of a chink, He will die" Jebus said to everyone.
So Jesus got crusified and was rolled into a tomb. While all this was happening Jebus was getting another makeover on a spa break, he won on a scartchcard. When he came back he looked exactly like Jesus!
"IT'S JESUS, HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD!"
"What?" Said Jebus.
The crowd chased him for miles and miles, until he found Bonzo to get some answers. Bonzo explained everything to Jebus and Jebus was shocked.
"What am i going to do? Asked Jebus "Everyone thinks i'm Jesus and that I've rose from the dead" Whinned Jebus.
"Well Jesus was suppodedlly the son of god yes?" Said Bonzo
"Yeah" Said Jebus.
"Well just tell them you woke up from being dead, they believed he was the son of God so they'll believe this"
"Your right! I'm going to be famous!!" Yelled Jebus.

And he was. He lived the rest of his life full of joy and laughter and was never stuck to get a girlfriend. All his friends wrote a book about him and called it "The Bible" and everyone lived happily after.

The end.

FAG♥