Three men were sitting together, bragging about how they had given their NEW wives duties.

The first man had married a girl from OHIO.
He bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes, and house cleaning that needed to be done.
He said that is took a couple days but by the third day He came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a girl from PENNSYLVANIA.
He bragged that He had given hid wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and cooking. He told them the first day He didn't see any results, but the next day was better.
By the third day his house was clean, the dishes were done, and He had a huge dinner on the table.

The third guy had married a WEST VIRIGINIA girl!!
He said that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table at every meal.
He said the first day he didn't see any results.
The second day he didn't see any either,
But by the third day the swelling had gone down
and he could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and telephone a landscaper.

Joke 2:

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big old Pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.
One day 2 boys filled up a bucket of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight and began dividing the nuts.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.
Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bike. As he passed he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough he heard " One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
He just knew what it was. He jumped on his bike and rode off.
Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy. " you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."
The man said, " Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk."
When the insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standong by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me..."
The old man whispered, " Boy you've been telling me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord."
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At lst they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get tose nuts by the fence and we'll be done.
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.