Anne Ralph

yay love being me!!

74 tygodnie temu | ja też! | Odpowiedz

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Kobieta, 22, 36
z Cork

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Ostatnio online: 20 tygodni temu
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O mnie

Ja, o mnie i jeszcze raz ja: I base my life around catering to the affluent

Learning: I love LEARNING!
Relationship Status: Divorced
Scared Of: monsters and never fixing my back
Happiest When: kissing,
doing counterpoint

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Pachelbel Rant

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kliknij, aby odtworzyćPachelbel Rant
kliknij, aby odtworzyćRussian Red Army Choir - O Field, My Field (P
kliknij, aby odtworzyćSaint-Sa��ns: Cello Concerto No. 1 (Part 1)

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Weird crap I've done Wykonano: 13
Chemistry quiz! Wykonano: 17
How much of a CTYer are you? Wykonano: 11
The great big huge CCYO quiz Wykonano: 17
How well do you know Anne? Wykonano: 32

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What is the best music to illustrate something really scary?
1. Dies Irae from Verdi Requiem
2. O Fortuna from Carmina Burana
3. Beethoven 5 (yes it's obvious, but with good reason!)
4. Also Sprach Zarathustra
5. No way, Also sprach is for space age not scary!
3 komentarzy
How come girls are so much prettier than guys?
1. They're smaller and more delicate
2. They can wear makeup to improve on nature
3. They have nicer hair
4. It's probably something to do with T and A
4 komentarzy

zamknij Blog

stuff that ANNOYS me

Sparkling water. Why?? it's imitation fizzy drink, with the calcium leaching properties of fizzy drinks, but without the nice taste.

Ribena ads. Ok, so 95% of Irish blackcurrants make it into your product. So. You use up most of the country's blackcurrants. Why do you think there's no leading competitor? because you robbed all their blackcurrants! Apart from the fact that, there's no way you own all those blackcurrant bushes, so you were trespassing on other people's land and stealing their fruit. And finally, what the hell you bragging about anyway? the old chiquita banana ad said 'Every banana wants to be a chiquita banana, but we only pick the best!' THAT makes sense. Ribena have no such standards.

College computers. I can't save anything on sibelius. that makes it crash. I can't email my sibelius stuff to anyone. i can't open my email in college. I don't have a functioning college email. I haven't been taught how to use a freakin mac. nobody knows whose fault any of this is. i'm not even continuing this cos it would depress me.

Ryanair. I brought in liquids through security and nobody noticed. HOWEVER - i was made take off my shoes cos they were boots. Why are normal shoes ok but not boots? Why am i only allowed bring one bag on the plane? and your stupid jingle with the fanfare and the applause just cos ye landed on time (probably because ye took off early) made me want to puke even more than your pitiful attempt at a smooth landing.

Spell check. Blackcurrant is a word, but blackcurrants isn't. or blackcurrants aren't. whatever. you people are stupid. go play in traffic.

1 komentarz 774 dni
My life in Sicilia

How you can kill your incoherent and complaining wife (or clueless and lazy husband) in Italy without spending a single minute in prison.

Step by step explanation:

1.) Kill him or her (be creative but not too creative).

2.) Go to the police station, surrender and confess (don't forget the bereaved look on your face).

3.) Tell the police that she/he voluntarily offended you causing your overreaction (meddling in-laws is usually a classic and credible excuse).

4.) After these few steps you have already avoided preventive detention because:
A) There's no danger of leaving the country (you surrendered, remember?).
B) There's no risk of tampering with evidence (you confessed, remember?).
C) There's no risk of repeating the crime (you had just one wife/husband...thank goodness!).

5.) While waiting for the trial to start, you are under house arrest (1 year) but you can happily skip to work (if you still have a job, of course. But if you have a typical Italian public job, not even Moses can get you fired!)

6.) When the trial begins you automatically risk the maximum punishment, 30 years of prison time (don't be scared, you're in Italy).

7.) If your lawyer is a typical Italian rat-bastard, extenuating circumstances can outweigh the aggravating circumstances. In plain English, the punishment decreases to 21 years.

8.) Since you were offended and provoked by your wife/husband (oh, those in-laws), the punishment can be lowered by a 1/3. The punishment is now 14 years (21 - 7 = 14 years).

9.) Common extenuating circumstances are almost always awarded to the defendant, so, 14 years - 5 = 9 years.

10.) If you pay reparations to the loving relatives of your wife/husband, your punishment is decreased by another 3 years. You're now at a possible 6 years.

11.) If you politely ask for the "rito abbreviato" (shortened rite) the punishment is politely knocked down to 4 years.

12.) Since you were under house arrest for 1 year you can subtract that so-called prison time. Now, you're down to 3 years!

13.) Last, but not least, prison sentences of 3 years or less can be converted into social work (so, go and pretend you're cleaning a park).

0 komentarzy 812 dni
Mahler personalities - which one are YOU?

6.1 Inktroduction
Mahleria is one of the most serious health problems facing humanity. At least 10 million of the world's music audience is known to be infected. Hundreds of thousands more "Closet Mahlerians" are believed to be infected, the rate growing every year.

The disease is mainly confined to the affluent areas of Europe, America and East Asia. The problems are aggravated by inadequate listening diets. The situation has complexified over the years with the increase in resistance to alternative musics used to combat the disease-carrying parasite.

Mahleria is caused mainly by the vector Compact Discs of the genus Blastmodium Postmodernemotionalis. Three species of Blastmodium can produce the disease in its various forms - Blastmodium Egogigantis, Blastmodium Miserablis and Blastmodium Mahleria. B. Egogigantis is the most dangerous: untreated it can lead to Fatal Cerebral Mahleria, in which the victim becomes zombie-like, hanging around concert halls with bagloads of CDs, staring balefully at potential converts and especially conductors deemed to have made mistakes.

Compact Discs are transmitted by the Blastmodium subspecies of the Concertgoer family. For some reason, mainly males carry the parasite. Like all other concertgoers, they breed primarily in concert halls, CD shops and music newsgroups. Sensitivity to pesticides, including high CD prices, is variable.

Parasites in a victim progressively break down other cells responsible for supporting other composers. This induces bouts of CDlust in the infected individual, as well as that feverish look in their eyes. In Cerebral Mahleria, the infected cells obstruct the blood vessels in the brain. This dangerous syptom can only be alleviated by listening to Mahler symphonies, which liberate the blood flow.

Instructions in Plain English

Mahleria can sometimes be cured by anti-mahlerial drugs in the form of Baroque music, Haydn's early symphonies, Sibelius' inner logic and Bach's The Art of Fugue. The symptoms, pained descriptions of the composer's life, extensive vocabularies for the synonyms of misery, and hovering near letter "M" at record stores quickly disappear once the parasite is killed.

In certain regions, however, the parasites have developed resistance to normal anti-Mahlerial drugs. Patients in these areas require treatment with more powerful drugs, such as Madonna, Stevie Wonder and Elvis Presley. Cases of severe disease including cerebral Mahleria require cold turkey treatment with the most hideous drug ever invented by humanity - Richard Clayderman.

The public is advised to be very quick when shopping for CDs in infected areas, especially those of you looking for "Lully" and "Martinu" CDs. If threatened, it may be helpful to whip out a hammer and say in a calm but firm voice: "Don't come near me or I'll strike the last hammer blow."

A detailed knowledge of the ecology of the local vector is essential for controlling the disease. To begin with, it is useful to understand members of the subspecies.

6.2 Engendered Species

The average Mahlerian comes in a variety of species, much like any other type of concert-goer. This is a list of the more colourful ones:

The Know-It-Alls (Resistansis Futilium)
If the mandolin in the fourth movement of the Seventh Symphony misses a note in the sixteenth bar, these people will notice, let you know they noticed and will attempt to disgrace you for not having noticed. Do not engage them in discussion: it's what they want, they won't even listen to you and you cannot win. Pretend (or not) you have a stomachache and run. They'll let you go as soon as their next victim appears.

The Seen-It-Alls (Prehistoricum Dinosaurus)
These people will try to convince you that you, the unfortunate newbie to Mahler, cannot possibly understand the meaning of real, great Mahlerian performance, since you have never heard a 'live' performance of the Eighth, let alone, for example, Barbirolli do the Ninth with the B

1 komentarz 837 dni

zamknij What type of guy is meant for you? (girls only)

what type of guy is ment for you (girls only)

My result is: the one in the middle

This guy is not bad. He doesn't always want to be with you, but sometimes he jsut needs you everywhere. He's not sure what he wants yet if he wants to get serious or just kinda see how things go. Just watch your step and give him some space

what type of guy is ment for you (girls only) - take this quiz!

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zamknij Which Jane Austen Heroine Are You?

Which Jane Austen Heroine Are You?

My result is: Elizabeth Bennet

You are memorable, lovely and clever, the life of the party... you always have the perfect thing to say in every situation. Your honesty, virtue, and lively wit enable you to rise above the nonsense and bad behavior that pervade your money-seeking and often spiteful society. Nevertheless, your sharp tongue and tendency to make hasty judgments often lead you astray... if not careful, you can display qualities that you despise - pride and prejudice. But if you can get past negative first impressions, your life and love story will be epic!!!

Which Jane Austen Heroine Are You? - take this quiz!