Open up your eyes,
Cuz ill be standing there, right in front of you
Please just open up your eyes, because I don’t know how much longer it will be until I break and fall

Im sorry,
Im sorry that I cant be perfect
Im sorry I cant be as thin as you would like me to be
Doesn’t mean to say im not trying

You have no idea how much I long for food. But I just cant eat anything,
And when I do, I feel like ive failed everyone.
So yea. Here im standing, over this sink, making myself emptier than before
Its only so long until I just stop
So wont you open up your eyes before its to late?

Why does it feel like I have lost it all. When really nothing has been taken away?
Why am I doing this to myself? To loose weight, or to prove to myself that I can do something?

Why don’t you just open up your eyes and see me, see me leaning here, almost on the brink of collapse,
I cant eat, its killing me, even when I feel like im about to collapse I cant fail myself,
But most times I just do.
Help? I don’t know if I need it, but please, open up your eyes and see that im not ok, im not fine, and until I die I don’t really think I ever will be.
Im sorry, im really really sorry. I don’t know why or what for, but please, forgive me.
I want to go back. Right back to the start.
Back when everything was ok
But hey, no one said it would be easy.
Oh look, its another day, another day,
And a little bit more of me just slips, away,

Scales. Predict my life.
When they go down I feel happy
When they go up, well, I just feel like a complete failier
Maybe its time to try harder?
This really isn’t easy
Im sorry ok??

Can you please open up your eyes..
And Save me
HELP me

Im just waisting away, calorie by calorie
My life just seems meaningless
Hopeless
And im so sorry
I feel so cutt off
So alone
So.. nothing

So what is there left to comtemplate.
Apart from im alredy dangerously underweight
But its not good enough, bmi16 is not good enough
I want to be thinner, thinner, thinner,
Until im so thin that….
I just ,, Waste away
And nobody will know im gone.

My wrists cant cry no more,
So my stomac groans in pain
Maybe its time to take a brave jump over the side?
I mean like, how can you know it when you don’t even try
Help? Or no help?
I know I need it but, im just to scared to get it

But that’s the risk that I take
And yh, I know that you don’t want me in your life. Im sorry.
Really
I just want to be gone
Vanished
Goodbye
End of story

Just…no

Im still here

But
Im slowly fading, slowly wasting away,
Not long now until I just…

Hold on.. I cant?

Why cant you just open up your eyes. And see that im hurting
See the pain im in
Help fill me up when I am at my emptiest?
Ive tried my best. Although its never gonna be good enough
Im just, stuck, in reverse
I don’t cry but, I guess I do cry out my mouth as my body slowly drains its self

Try to fix me? To try guide me home? Well where is home, and it feels that now, I just cant be fixed, I just cant be anything,
Im just down below,
What im worth? Nothing,
Who I am? Nobody

Open up your eyes? Please, take me away
Fix me.
Heal me, but no
You would rarther hear my in pain
And watch me slowly crumble
And waste away
Watch the pain get worse and worse every day
Until I come running to you, with tears running down my face, begging for you to save me,
Its like, ive lost something that just cant be replaced.
Why do I feel like I am just one big massive mistake?
Help?
Help me.

Because when it comes to begging,
I may just not be here
I might have just faded away

Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry

But I wont stop
I will never stop
Until every kg is lost
And I am nothing but a pile of bones
For this food I can not eat
As it feels like it will end up killing me

Take me.. take me upon your wings tonight

Open up your eyes

I feel like,
I feel like im just lost, lost wit

Im slipping down this waterfall
prepairing myself to drown
Should i hold my breath ? or just... let go

you know i dont want to say this
but reli. i dont feel your pain
your trying to save me
but maybe its just to late

i mean, yea, you may know all the things to say
but reli, come on, its not gonna make this ok

i cant see this
i cant see you
i just wanna feel your pain, but i cant
i cant fake it

i love you but, i dont,
i need you, but i dont
i promiced you.... but i cant

im not fine,
this is not so ok ..

so hold me under
take me down
its no surprise you make me dread tomorro

this seems random
but still
i love you

and

i hate you

im fine .. without you
im not ok ... without you

i just have thoughts of you.. and me spinning around in my head

well your here.. whilst i right this out for you
and when you read this. you know that its yours...

i miss you so bad
can i say that?

you look so cute..
i miss you?

Why do i feel this way
why do i miss you so bad?
i guess my heart will never say

how much you mean to me
yet. you mean nothing to me

isnt love meant to be like a fairytale
erm . not at all

but if you leave, i will die
cuz you keep me alive

i need you so bad
i miss you so so bad!

i need you

so,, why do you come by if you are leaving ? why make me hurt even more

yhh fine... i will let it all out,

you dont mean nothing to me. YOU MEAN EVERYTHING
i can not give my world to you,, CUZ YOU ARE IT
your the love of my life.

and even though i have not met you.
im on my way

and i will never let you go

no matter how much it hurts...

i need you <3

and well.. i love you <3


when you fall,, i will catch you,
when your lonli, im that comfort in your heart
im your light. when its dark
and yea.
here i am... making your life and your world better than its ever been

i guess i have just gotta admit that

i love you <3



(C) Mr Alex N

Email - mralexn@hotmail.co.uk