FAKE FRiENDS: Never ask for food.
REAl FRiENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAl FRiENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

FAKE FRiENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAl FRiENDS: Sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we fucked up ... but that shit was fun!"

FAKE FRiENDS: Never see you cry.
REAl FRiENDS: Cry with you

FAKE FRiENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAl FRiENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRiENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAl FRiENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAl FRiENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Knock on your front door.
REAl FRiENDS: Walk right in and say "I"M BACK!"

FAKE FRiENDS: Are for a while.
REAl FRiENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRiENDS: Take your drink away when they think you"ve had enough.
REAl FRiENDS: Watch you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that, you know we don"t waste shit."

FAKE FRiENDS: Talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAl FRiENDS: Fuckin knock them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Read this.
REAL FRIENDS: Steal this

1- The hair dresser who hears, "An inch off the bottom, please" as "post-shave Britney Spears."

2- Guys who insist on doing the "Ricky Gervais "dance" at parties. (get your own frickin personalities, freaks!)

3- The shopper who mistakes the eight-items-or-les aisle in Tescos for the all-you-can-cram-into-one-frickin-basket queue.

4- The oh-so-smug voice that says : "Your call is important to us, please hold the line." (If we're so damn important, put us through, dumbass)

5- The blonde, tanned gym goddess who's had every sweat gland in her body removed.

6- Anybody who says , "I want to give this 150%" With a straight face.

7- The withheld number caller who never leaves you a message. (Speak! Damnyou Speak!)

8- Any actor appearing in insurance adverts. We know a man has to eat but....

9- The person who asks, "When's it due?" When yo wear a baggy shirt.

10- Obsessive Facebook "Funwallers". (We didn't find the first 50 penis sockpuppets funny. Yours is no different.)

11- Your skinny friend who refuses dessert then eats half of yours.

12- The bank call-centre swot who looks at your transactions then comments on your love of shopping. So rude!

13- The sandwhich-shop hogger who takes ages to pick a filling then... pays by card. What part of lunch hour do they not get?

14- Estate agents.

15- The taxi -driver who recounts his (incredibly dull) life story the second you step into the damn car.

16- Your boyfriend when he suffers from man flu

17- The shopper who causally reaches over your shoulder and swans off with the last dress in your size.

18-The orning commuter who reads your newspaper over your shoulder... and has bad breath.

19- Any family member who utters the immoral line, "So are you courting yet?" (What the hell does that even mean!?)

20- Builders who say, "Smile, love, it might never happen." It just did, sweetheart

Adam What song should we sing?
Kenny Um what about, 12 days of Christmas?
Everyone YEAH!!!
Kenny Okay then.....

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me..
A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me..
TWO TURTLE DOVES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me..
THREE FRENCH HENS, TWO TURTLE DOVES, AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me..
FOUR CALLING BIRDS, THREE FRENCH HENS, TWO TURTLE DOVES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me..
FIVE GOLD RINGS, FOUR CALLING BIRDS, THREE FRENCH HENS, TWO TURTLE DOVES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR!!

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me..

Kenny um what did she get?
Iain SIX FREE RANGE EGGS!!
Kenny Okay then

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me..
SIX FREE RANGE EGGS, FIVE GOLD RINGS, FOUR CALLING BIRDS, THREE FRENCH HENS, TWO TURTLE DOVE, AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me..
SEVEN LORDS A LEAPING, SIX FREE RANGE EGGS, FIVE GOLD RINGS, FOUR CALLING BIRDS, THREE FRENCH HENS, TWO TURTLE DOVES, AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me..
EIGHT MAIDS A MILKING, SEVEN LORDS A LEAPING, SIX FREE RANGE EGGS, FIVE GOLD RINGS, FOUR CALLING BIRDS, THREE FRENCH HENS, TWO TURTLE DOVES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me..
NINE LADIES DANCING, EIGHT MAIDS A MILKING, SEVEN LORDS A LEAPING, SIX FREE RANGE EGGS, FIVE GOLD RINGS, FOUR CALLING BIRDS, THREE FRENCH HENS, TWO TURTLE DOVES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me..

Kenny um again what did she get?
Niamh TEN TRUMPERS TRUMPING!!
Kenny Okay

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me..
TEN TRUMPERS TRUMPING, NINE LADIES DANCING, EIGHT MAIDS A MILKING, SEVEN LORDS A LEAPING, SIX FREE RANGE EGGS, FIVE GOLD RINGS, FOUR CALLING BIRDS, THREE FRENCH HENS, TWO TURTLE DOVES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me..

Kenny help us out people!
Adam Loaves of bread?
Kenny YES! Man we are on a roll

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me..
ELEVEN LOAVES OF BREAD, TEN TRUMPERS TRUMPING, NINE LADIES DANCING, EIGHT MAIDS A MILKING, SEVEN LORDS A LEAPING, SIX FREE RANGE EGGS, FIVE GOLD RINGS, FOUR CALLING BIRDS, THREE FRENCH HENS, TWO TURTLE DOVES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me..

Kenny Help us out AGAIN people!
Niamh Oh my word! What is that one?
Kenny um…
Iain TWELVE CAULIFLOWERS!!
Kenny YES!! Good one Iain!

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me..
TWELVE CAULIFLOWERS, ELEVEN LOAVES OF BREAD, TEN TRUMPERS TRUMPING, NINE LADIES DANCING, EIGHT MAIDS A MILKING, SEVEN LORDS A LEAPING, SIX FREE RANGE EGGS, FIVE GOLD RINGS, FOUR CALLING BIRDS, THREE FRENCH HENS, TWO TURTLE DOVES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!

KennyYES!!
Adam I sung all the last
Everyone WOO GO ADAM!!

This was then followed by when everyone got off the bus we cheered.
We also tried to name all the reindeers, turned out we didn’t know them very well.
We also tied Kennys’ shoelaces together and he had to walk home in his socks in the wetness in the process of that I had my legs crushed by Iain ( No hard feelings by the way)

But all the fun stopped when Ashalee Campbell and Kenneth Barkley got off the bus. Next year the bus will be a very sad place i