CONDOMS
Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and keeping the same slogan........
1.Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better.
2.Tesco Condoms - every little helps.
3.Nike Condoms - Just do it.
4.Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.
5.Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.
6.KFC Condoms - Finger, Licking good
7.Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.
8.Duracell condoms - keep going and going.
9.Pringles condoms - once you pop, you just can't stop
10.Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
11.Carlsburg condoms - probably the best condom in the world.
12.Polo condoms - the condom with the hole!!! (very poor seller)

1. Full Name: Natalie Louise Jones
2. Nicknames: Naty-poo Fat-Nat And Nat
3. Birthday: 17th February
4. Place of Birth: Nottingham
5. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
6. Male or female: Female
7. Grade: 11
8. School: West Bridgford Specialist Technology college
9. Occupation: Student
10. Residence: Ruddington
11. MSN Screen Name: (f) Nat's (f) Hold Me Tight Treat Me Right Let Me Know Im Yours (l) Lee (l) 'What Radio Station Do you Listen Too.'

12. Hair Colour: Brown and blonde
13. Hair Length: Bob ish
14. Eye colour: Blue
15. Weight: 8 stone 12 lbs
16. Height: 5 ft
17. Braces: gone Now Thank god
18. Glasses: Nope
19. Piercings: twice in both ears did have 3 in one ear but it healed up
20. Tattoos: Nope
21. Right or Left Handed: Right

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First Best Friend: Laura
23. First Sport You Joined: Dancing
24. First Pet: Dogs
25. First Holiday: Turkey
26. First CD: Now 41
27. First Real Love: hmmm… unknown
28. First Shag: Kay Brith ( I fink that how u spell it )


___ Favourites___

29. Movie: Cocktail
30. TV Programme: duno really
31. Colour: Grey
32. Rapper: akon
33. Band: InMe
34. Song Right Now: akon Smack That
35. Friend: Sarah Soph livs and dee
36. Sweet: CANDY Lollz Lee
37. Sport to Play: Badminton
38. Restaurant: Baltimore
39. Favourite brand: Chloe
40. Store: Primark Lollz
41. School Subject: L and T
42. Animal: cat
43. Book: Bridget Jones TEOR
44. Magazine: O.K
45. Shoes: Russell and Bromley boots.

___Currently___

46. Feeling: Happy
47. Single or Taken? single
48. Have a Crush: One him
49. Eating: Nuffin
50. Drinking: Pink Grapefruit
51. Typing: Yes
52. Online: Yes
53. Listening To: futuresex/lovesounds - Justin Timberlake.
54. Thinking About: him
55. Wanting To: be with him.
56. Watching: nuffin
57. Wearing: grey henleys top and jeans

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids? Duno I fink I will
59. Want to get married? Of course
60. Careers in Mind: Physiologist
61. Where do you want to live: West Bridgford.
62. Car: any car will do me but I duno what I would want ….

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair colour: dnt mind but brown I prefer
64. Hair length: short
65. Eye colour: Blue
66. Measureents: Dnt care
67. Cute or Sexy: both
68. Lips or Eyes: both
69. Hugs or Kisses: both
70. Short or Tall: taller
71. Easygoing or serious: Easy
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: both
73. Fatty or Skinny: dnt mind
74. Sensitive or Loud: sensitive
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: Both
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: any will do

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: no
79. Had Alcohol: Yes
80. Smoked: Yes
81. Ran Away From Home: yes
82. Broken a bone: yes
83. Got an X-ray: Yes
84. Been with someone: yes right now
85. Broken Someone’s Heart: unsure.
86. Broke Up With Someone: yus
87. Cried When Someone Died: Yus
88. Cried At School: Yus all the time

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: maybe
90. Miracles: Yes
91. Love At First sight: Yes
92. Ghosts: unsure I fink yes but not as we picture them
93. Aliens: Nope
94. Soul Mates: Yes
95. Heaven: Yes
96. Hell: Yes
97. Angels: Yes
98. Kissing on The First Date: Yes
99. Horoscopes: Yes

___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have? Yes but that depressing im happy the way i am.

A guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school. Unfortunately, he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is only 9 years old. One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices
that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk. As you might expect things start to heat up. The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells his girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if she wants a new position.

Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!

Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!

Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
She screams.
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Whoa!!!
PULL IT OUT!!!
PULL IT OUT!!!

Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey, would you guys stop making sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my face