Did You
Know...




If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you
would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup
of coffee.




(Hardly seems worth it.)




If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months,
enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic
bomb.




(Now that's more like it!)




The human heart creates enough pressure when it
pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30
feet.




O.M.G.!)




A pig's
orgasm lasts 30 minutes.




(In my next
life, I want to be a pig.)




A cockroach will live nine days without its head
before it starves to
death. (Creepy.)




(I'm still not over the
pig.)




Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories
an hour.




(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)




The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head
is attached to its
body.
The female initiates sex by ripping the
male's
head off.




("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")




The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's
like a human jumping
the length of a football
field.




(30 minutes... lucky pig. can you
imagine??)




The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.




(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)




Some lions mate over 50 times a day.




(I still want to be a pig in my next
life...quality
over
quantity)




Butterflies taste with their feet.




(Something I always wanted to know.)




The strongest muscle in the
body is the
tongue.




(Hmmmmmm........)




Right-handed people live, on average, nine years
longer than
left-handed
people.




(If you're ambidextrous, do you split
the
difference?)




Elephants are
the only animals that cannot jump.




(OK, so that
would be a
good
thing....................)




A cat's urine
glows under a black
light.




(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)




An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.




(I know some people like that.)




Starfish have no
brains.




(I know some people like that too.)




Polar bears are left-handed.




(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)




Humans and dolphins are the only
species that
have
sex
for pleasure.




(What about that pig??)





Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn
to spread the
stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring
a smile to (maybe
even a chuckle)...in other words
send it to everyone

COPY AND PASTE PLZ

real and fake friends. wat r u
FAKE FRiENDS: Never ask for food.
REAl FRiENDS: are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAl FRiENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

FAKE FRiENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAl FRiENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we fucked up ... but that shit was fun!"

FAKE FRiENDS: never seen you cry.
REAl FRiENDS: cry with you

FAKE FRiENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAl FRiENDS: keep your shit so long they forget it's yours.

FAKE FRiENDS: know a few things about you.
REAl FRiENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAl FRiENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAl FRiENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FAKE FRiENDS: Are for awhile.
REAl FRiENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAl FRiENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Drink the rest of that, ya drunk bitch! You know we don't waste shit."

FAKE FRiENDS: will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAl FRiENDS: Will knock them the fuck out

FAKE FRiENDS: Would ignore this
REAl FRiENDS: Will send this to all thier real friends and hope to get it back!!

TAKE DE FIRST LETTER IN YOUR 1ST NAME:
A: I licked
B: I bit
C: I sucked
D: I moved
E: I rubbed
F: I smelt
G: I did everytin with
H: I blew
I: I stopped
J: I Photographed
K: I turned on
L: I shoved
M: I tickled
N: I munched
O: I turned off
P: I set light to
Q: I twisted
R: I gobbed on
S: I chucked up on
T: I looked at
U: I walked on
V: I kicked
W: I played with
X: I fucked
Y: I did 69er with
Z: I glared at

:TAKE DE DAY WEN U WER BORN ON:
1: The queen
2: A horse
3: A dildo
4: A butt plug
5: A teacher
6: A car exhaust
7: Michael Jackson
8: A male striper
9: A pikey
10: An ugly fat kid
11: Tony Blair
12: A cheeseburger
13: A slut
14: My dad
15: An adult toy
16: A plaster
17: A paint brush
18: My mums used tampon (on a heavy day)
19: A wig
20: A Flute
21: An old man
22: A fish
23: A mammal
24: A carrot
25: A pubic hair
26: A bogey
27: A pencil sharper
28: A school tie
29: Some used loo-roll
30: Some Y- fronts with skids
31: A fit model

:NOW TAKE DE 1ST LETTER OFF UR LAST NAME
A: For money
B: For fun
C: Because I’m loved
D: And hated it
E: To pass time
F: For a bet
G: Because I wanted to
H: Because it was dry
I: For a free pencil
J: To get onto a game show
K: Because my mam said it would turn her on
L: And loved it
M: For a pet monkey
N: Because I was horny
O: For a free cuddly toy
P: To win a Ferrari
Q: So I could get a boob job
R: For a hob nob
S: To win X-factor
T: All for pleasure
U: For a laugh
V: Because my pet hamster was dying
W: For £100000
X: To skip school
Y: Because I thought my hair looked cool
Z: So people will talk about me

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