1-Paul
2-Dingie
3- Kirsten
4- Eddy
5- Gaz
6- Morri
7-Nadia
8- Meggie
9- Sarah
10- Tricky
11- Foff
12- Dicko
13-Begz
14-Ben
15-Dave
16-Shug

Q: Have you ever kissed 7?
A: Oh Yes

Q. Whats your least favourite thing about number 13?
A. Hes slightly better than me at guitar

Q: What's the best memory you have of 9?
A. Watchin her get shit faced and fall of a fucking chair

Q: When's the next time you're gonna see 2?
A: Dont reely no

Q: Is number 8 pretty?
A: Yeah course!

Q: What was your first impression of number 10?
A. This guy is a complete cock-end.

Q. What do you like most about number 14?
A. The fact he thinks hes better than me at poker

Q: How did you meet 3?
A: When my girlfriend shouted abuse at her

Q: Do you think 11 would kill someone?
A: I dont think foff is capable of murder but Maybe

Q. How long have you known number 15?
A. Far too long

Q: Have you seen 5 naked?
A. Yes actually, yuck.

Q: Do you think 12 has a crush on you?
A: Fairly certain he does

Q: What is the last thing you did with 6?
A: Probably threatened to kill him in a drunken stupour

Q. If you could give anything to number 1 what would it be?
A. A fuckin slap

Q. Would number 2 and number 16 make a good couple?
A. You know i think they would.

Q. If number 14 was a crayon, what colour would s/he be?
A. Blue jus coz

Q: Have you ever been to 3's house?
A. Yes once

Q: Have you ever slept in the same bed as 16?:
A: No

Q: When's the next time you'll see 5?:
A: Dunno

Q: Are you real close to 11?
A: oh aye

Q: Have you ever kissed 4?
A: Nope

Q: Have you ever been to the movies with 8?
A: No

Q. Whats number 13 house like?
A. Tis always banter

Q: Have you ever been angry with 12:
A: nah

Q: Would you ever make a move on 11
A: Hmmmm

Q: What do you and number 4 talk about the most?
A: Sum BEAR

Q: Do you ever talk to 9?
A: all the fucking time,

x..FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn we fucked up.but that shit was fun"
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out.

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt!'

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an informed
manner.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Despite her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids
were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with
a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual
wedding ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced
the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd
and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct
them.