Dylan Martin puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"

The McKeon can slam revolving doors.

The chief export of Jack Toner is pain.

Niall Johnson counted to infinity...twice.

Dylan Martin can divide by Zero.

They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does The McKeon. He doesn't have to.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless Jack Toner has been there, then its soaked with tears and blood.

Niall Johnson died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Dylan Martin once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

The McKeon sleeps with a night light. Not because The McKeon is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of The Mckeon.

Jack Toner is the reason Waldo is hiding.

A Tsunami is water running away from Niall Johnson.

How many times does it take Dylan Martin to screw in a light bulb? None. Dylan Martin does not need light. Light needs Dylan Martin.

The McKeon doesn’t get brain freeze. Ice-cream’s know when to back the fuck off.

Jack Toner got in a fight with a cloud.

Niall Johnson does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Dylan Martin crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.

Yes, The McKeon can speak braille.

Jack Toner is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Jack Toner.

Niall Johnson jacks off to Monster Trucks.

If Dylan Martin is late, time better slow the fuck down.

The McKeon went back in time and stopped the JFK assination by catching the bullet in mid air. JFK head just exploded in sheer amazement.

Jack Toner has to sort his laundry into three loads: darks, whites, and bloodstains.

Niall Johnson made Satan cry.

The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Dylan Martin" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!"

Jesus walked on water. The McKeon walked on Jesus.

When Jack Toner gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Niall Johnson doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

In the begining, Dylan Martin told God to make him something to play with and gave him a seven day deadline.

Contrary to popular belief, George Bush is a great speaker and rarely mispronounces words. He appears incompetent because he knows The McKeon is watching.

Jack Toner does not leave messages. Jack Toner leaves warnings.

Niall Johnson once soloed while having sex.

Dylan Martin killed the last Unicorn with his bare hands.

The McKeon is like a Tsunami, if you can see him coming it's already too late.

Uncle Sam doesn't want you anymore. He's got Jack Toner.

Niall Johnson beat up the Jolly Green giant.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because of Dylan Martin.

When God said, "Let there be light", The McKeon said, "say please."

Jack Toner punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

The symbol for Niall Johnson in sign language is a middle finger on fire

Dylan Martin sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Dylan roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

.___........... ._||||||||/_
{o,o}.............{o,@}
/)__).............(___(\
-"-"-................-"--"-
O RLY?..QUITE RLY