Paul Szvatsina
mon the hoops !!
hace 14 semanas 
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Fat Mikes Glasgweegian bible stories part one!
Right Ive been thinking about stuff from the bible and thought to keep Scottish ppl interested I should update some of the story banter wi glasgwegian. I reckon its a more accurate description than what actually happened.
The first one Im gonna do is about the Last Supper!
On the Thursday night before he was sentenced to death for being a mad hippy cunt, Jesus the son of God called a meeting of his closest campanions (aka apostle mental crew). To keep accurate timing (as mobile phones were the size ae bricks in them days and texts were over 20p each and didnae huv predictive) he gave the strictly timed instruction to all his crew. His morse coded letter was delivered the week prior by donkey, and read-
right every cunt roond tae mine straight after River City finishes. Nae fannyin aboot on the way. I repeat Nae Fannyin aboot! - on the way!
A fine feast of food was prepaired for Jesus and his apostles.
Once all were gathered Jesus demanded silence, raised his glass and said-
Right Troops! Its the final munch! Lets get tucked in aw aboot it!
To which the apostles of the Lord simultaneiously replied-
WAAEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY! Beltur man!
The gathering proceeded with everycunt tannin bucky and smoking rolleez!
Jesus then demanded silence again, and asked for undivided attention as he said-
Right cunts, am on the phone tae the Chinkeez, whits everywan wantin?
To which John, the second apostle of the Lord replied-
Here you! Who you callin a cunt?
Jesus promptly replied, Shut yer hole of Ill tan yer face in. Ma honours are big pope Paul Ferris and Wee Minister Jack Mc-chainsaw tae the knee caps!
John became argumentative and said Here ya hippy cunt! Am gonnae come over there and skelp ye aboot the heed wi yer pish sandals!
Jesus retaliated with the classic retaliation come back line of Moan then ya wank!
To which John backed down and said, Here am no gonnae waste ma time on you ya dick. Yer getting chopped up on Sunday anyway. And see when ye dae, Im gonnae go to yer hoose, batter yer daughter and pump yer wife! Oh aye and get yer hair sorted, its no the 70s yet!
To which Jesus replied-
Awwwwwwwwww mucker! Man am gonna miss you and yer mad patter when am dead! Geeza hug! and gee ma wife wan fae me! I've been boabyin your burd on the side for the last 7 years so there's nae worries there cheif
Jesus and his troops tanned bucky aw night, The local priest got them some acid and ectos about 2am, the were heavy digggin it!
Jesus finished the night by sayin, right fuck dyin, Im dain a bolter tae wee Tams hoose, I can crash in his basement til this shit blows over!
His apostles replied Waaaaaaaaaaheeeeeeeeey! Yer still a wank but!
Im telling yez. Thats how it happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
0 comentarios 886 días
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Olliehace 2 semanasBASSLINE!
Are ye putting a Banging dont on it tonight? Whats yer plans? -
Olliehace 2 semanas
Hey Everyone should come to the box next friday(27th) my mate alexs band Ildessyen Call are playing! its free entry so no excuses.
They sound like 65daysofstatic/mars volta/tool. last time i seen them it was fucking immense! check oot their wee video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3VWM...
or this is thier myspace page...
http://www.myspace.com/ildessyencall
Spread the word gonna get as many people to come along as possible!
PS Put a donk on it!!! -
Stevie Dochace 3 semanasfor the first date yeah I just need to comfirm them now and I also got dj's mate this is a two room event, I got free redio advertisin and shit mate a reggae dj and a guy who does the detroit techno both for the wee room and only got two bands for the second date as I never asked for that they just gave it to me
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Stevie Dochace 3 semanas
how you doing? what you been up to?
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Wit Ye Aww Aboothace 5 semanashey you got your ticket for the classic grand yet ?
dressing up ?
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Debbie Mylethace 7 semanasGood afternoon... My dear friend.... you are online... hahaha anyways you best get drunk tonight.. as they say... "get yourself edible for the midges" They need a wee drinky too!!! lol!!!
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Ginger Catfish Glasgowhace 8 semanasjoin us for details on free events in Glasgow
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hace 8 semanas
Debbie Mylet
Hey, Hows you? What am i doing awake at this hour on a day like this... Anyway i've gotta give you a copy of your Gibben (I think) act... It's totally insane... Gotta get off those early cups of tea.. hyper when no-one else could possibly be awake... lol
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hace 9 semanas vía Mobile
Wit Ye Aww Aboot
Not much just the usual at college and workin the odd day, off friday to monday tho so ready to pertay xx
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hace 9 semanas
vía Mobile
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Stevie Dochace 10 semanas
I got a phone number for a crusty who lives in Glasgow on the last day, going to hook up with her at some point, shes pretty cool but spoken for, when we all getting together again?
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Dr Shonzohace 10 semanasaye i'll jump up at some point...just sortin out the shiot hole that is my room first
makin it hippy friendly...oh its buy 1 gt 1 free day at domino's
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hace 11 semanas
Jonny G
How u doin mate? How was daves leavin night? A was skint man! Tell him am askin for his wel bein n orrat! x
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hace 11 semanas
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hace 13 semanas
vía Mobile
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Bhoys Noizehace 13 semanasHowd you get on at V? Did you manage to confiscate many cans of Carling for your own consumption?
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hace 14 semanas
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Stevie Dochace 14 semanas
the trip home was lenghty we had to stop for 9 hours and I slept on the coach, the drivers looked after me and we had breakfast together and talked about all kindsa shit
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Katrina Moorehace 14 semanasNo Worries mate enjoy - i am jealous!!!
I am heading back down to mank on Monday afternoon but aiming to be up a lot more often between now ans Xmas....!! not been up much this year but gonna try and make it up at least once a month from now on so i will keep you posted!
If you pass on your number i can drop you a text - given that my laptops buggered
Have fun - see ya soon
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Katrina Moorehace 14 semanas
Yo dude you out this weekend?
Its all been a bit hard to organise but heading to firewater in sauchiehall st if you fancy it!! Think Brian and John are out!
My laptops f**ked so no facebook / bebo for now!
Anyway i will keep you posted
K x
***Takes keyboard back!! ***
Debbie Mylet 0 respuestasLazerBeamQueen (D Mylet) - I wish that wumin would get her own bebo... Jeeze...
***eyes roll***
do u have a dug shite sandwich for dinner every night
Ross Graham 0 respuestas