There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth

I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! ( I don't really have ADD )

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved boys never made history.

You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it

PUT THIIS ON YOUR PAGE TO STOP STEREOTYPES!
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a a snob
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUSTmust not believe in being responsible.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be over-dramatic.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I DON'T LIVE WITH MY CHILD, so I MUST be a dead beat parent.
I'm ATHLETIC, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST drink and do drugs.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virign.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITHA MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm ITALIAN, so my family MUST own a pizzeria.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm REALLY INTO MY MUSIC, so I MUST be scene.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRL FRIENDS, so I MUST be sleeping with them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST not care about people's feelings.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I'm BRAZILLIAN, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST rob, do graffiti and stab people.
My GIRLFRIENDS OLDER THAN ME, so she MUST only be w/ me 4 sex.
I WEAR LEG BRACES, so I MUST be "crippled"
I have FRIENDS OLDER THAN ME so i must do drugs

This is to help people understand that stereotypes are dumb! and NORMALLY ARE NOT CORRECT!
...GET TO KNOW PEOPLE AND DON'T JUDGE THEM!!!!!!!

(A black man walks into a cafe early one morning and notices he is the only black man there.
As he sat down he noticed a white man sat behind him, the white man said "coloured people aren't allowed in here!"
The black man replied...
"When I was born I was black..
When I grew up I was black..
When Im sick Im black..
When i stay in the sun Im black..
When Im cold Im black..
When I die Im black..
But you Sir...
When you were born you were pink..
When you grew up you were peach...
When you are sick you are green..
When you stay in the sun you are red..
When you are cold you are blue..
When you die you turn purple..
And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured!!"
Copy this onto your blog and help to stop racism!!!