I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.

Daily, nightly and ever-so-rightly!

Daily, nightly and ever-so-rightly!

I'd like to play john madden football on HER X-Box!

I'd like to play john madden football on HER X-Box!

[about Shower Shorts] For the man who has nothing to hide, but still wants to.

My mom had a uterus, I lived in it

Okay I know the reason your headache isn't going away, you see this says Anogeisic not Analgeisic, the pills go in your mouth.

So's your face

4 years at college, and 4 years at med school. so I can safely assume you are at least 8

We did everything we could for him... Sorry got to go... Boobie-horn!

Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god. My crotch. You've punched me in my crotch.'

Frick on a stick with a brick!!!

I don't believe in the moon, it's just the back of the sun.

She's mad. But she can't give me the silent treatment because she knows I'd actually love that, so she's giving me the talk-until-I-want-to-commit-suicide treatment.

I've. Had. Enough. The next whiny intern that comes in here looking to me for a cookie and a hug, I swear to Aisha, I'm going to hurt them. And you, you neurotic, one-woman freak-show, take your 'Blah-blah' to the blah-blah-ologist. Because if you are so stupid as to confront the Chief of Medicine over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you've just got to go ahead and replace the captain of your brainship, because he's drunk at the wheel.

My GOD, Barbie, how do you put your bra and panties on in the morning?! All by yourself! It's...remarkable!'

OH YEAH!!! SUCK IT BITCH I WILL MURDER YOU!

If the patient is dead.... and your sure, you can feel free to tell them anything you want {nervous laugh}

You see for me, sex is a sport. It's like racketball. You play hard for a half an hour, work up a sweat and hope you don't get hit in the eye.

[Carla] Turk,Why are there pancakes in the silver-wear drawer?
[Turk] You mean why is there silver-wear in the pancake drawer? WHU-HEHH

[advert] you have a tough day at the office, so you come home, make yourself some dinner, smother your kids, pop in a movie, maybe have a drink. It's fun right?...wrong, don't smother your kids.

JUMBALIAH!!!

[To Carla] : 'I'm not as think as you drunk I am'

{To Turk after Turk changed his mobile number} What? Why did you change it? Your old number spelled KTHUNNANAPA

[after JD thinks Cox has given Chief Resident to Elliot] No, no. I totally understand. Come on, you did what you had to do. You went with your gut; Elliot's a great doctor. I do have three questions, though: Why do you hate me when I show you nothing but love? Who's gonna tell my mom? And what the hell am I supposed to do with ten thousand 'John Dorian, Chief Resident' business cards?

I Can Finally Buy Beanie Babies Without Feeling Weird

Every time something like this happens I have this tune in my head. It goes: babababababababaaaaaaaaa babababababaaaaaaaa

I Can Finally Buy Beanie Babies Without Feeling Weird

Assisted High Five ... I'll take that

She was riddin' him with her eyes

Mmmmm... I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone come see how good I look.

You go up to the tallest person in the village 'Hello there, don't mind us, we're Irish, we're great craic, sure we're always laughin' in Ireland hahahaha mad as badgers. Jasus I went on the lock last night, came back home, put the rashers in the toaster hahahahaha'

Did you ever rape someone?

LOUD NOISES!!!

Baxter? Is that you? Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee!

'There was a nigga named Kevin with a Mac-eleven - ' 'Right there! 'Pac is reachin' out to us! *Listen!*'

You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips...

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation

I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!