A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer’s personality on what drinks they ordered?
Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:
IF WOMEN DRINK ...

BEER
Personality: Casual, low maintenance down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA
Personality:Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G. GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA
Personality:Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she’ll send you a drink.

WATER
Personalityretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don’t.

WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)
Personality:Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.
Personality:Easy thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you’re in.

CAPE VELVET
Personality:Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)
Personality:Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait.......


IF MEN DRINK... (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

CIDER
He’s probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER
He’s poor / student and wants to get laid.

CASTLE LAGER BEER
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

IMPORTED BEER
He’s old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

GUINNESS
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

WATER
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid

WINE
He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

VODKA OR BRANDY
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

PORT
Thinks he’s sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

WHISKY
He doesn’t give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

JACK DANIELS
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into tryin to get laid,secretly though enjoys male company a little too much.

RUM OR TEQUILA
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
He’s gay (blatantly) - don’t turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

<3

1 Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
5. Have you ever wanted to punch me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why?
7. Describe me in 1 word?
8. what was your first impression of me?
9. do you still think the same?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something you couldnt?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what i say about you?

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said "How should I know,
that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know,
some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."
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SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde
says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

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THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him
in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun,
and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

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FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

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FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

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SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman,
sat in her US government class.
The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade
was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said,
"That was the decision George Washington had to make
before he crossed the Delaware"

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SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,
and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the blonde ran out on the porch,
shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog,
then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,
"I come home to find all my possessions stolen.
I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman."

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