There's some things 'men' (as a collective summary for half of the human race) are just supposed to be good at, and handle in their stride. Apparently, jump starting a car is one of those things.

My car would not start tonight as I've not used it for a while and I probably left a light or the stereo on, or something equally dipsy and stupid. So we fetched some jump leads from my parents place and after studying numerous websites for a while (and even asking jeeves, just because he is so pompously funny) I felt comforted in the knowledge of the order to connect the leads.

In the end, I ignored part of the website advice, about connecting to a ground point on the car, as a last minute check of the manual from Audi said to connect last the negative terminal on the dead battery. Every website I read said this could cause an explosion, and that another grouding point should be located instead.

But Audi had to be right.

I was actually shaking by this point, as to add to the excitement, these 'helpful' websites all talked about there being a spark when you connect the last terminal to complete the circuit. With this in my mind and the word 'explosion' still echoing I was a bit tentitive about hooking this up. Everyone else stood well back as I shakily made the final connection.

Yes, it did spark.

But it was the most feeble spark ever. I mean, if you could measure it, we're talking about a millimetre in diameter. Not quite the epic mushroom cloud scenario I had tried to prepare myself for. I really had visions of flames, fireworks and generally anything else that should cause great fear.

I felt quite silly. But, the car did start and a quick drive about and she is now properly up and running again. All is well, Milly is happy.

And I got some bits of car dirt (blood?) on my hands. So this, coupled with my new found bravery with regard to jump leads is giving me an elevated sense of confidence, and dare I say it, I think I have progressed to being a 'man'.

Now, to find some seaweed to glue to my face...

Yes, it's a horrible thing to do to your parents house, but yes, it's also bloody funny.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/ne...

We all know that social networking is not really about the 'social', but more about the hidden words in between that state 'my life is better than yours'.

That's why we have bulletins, blogs, shouts, twitters and 'what's on my mind' or whatever the hell facebook are calling it this week.

And it's on that note that I'm proud to shout out to the world...

I'M GOING TO SEE ROSS NOBLE LIVE ON SUNDAY NIGHT.


Ah, I feel *so* much better already.