-You believe that every patient needs TLC...Temazepam, Lorazepam and Chlorpromazine.

-You would like to meet the inventor of the nurse buzzer system some night in a dark alley.

-You believe not all patients are annoying, some are unconscious.

-Your sense of humor gets more warped each year.

-Your kids get their presents in TED stockings and NHS pillowcases.

-And their presents are wrapped with Transpore tape.

-You know the phone number of every late night food delivery place by heart.

-Almost everything can seem funny ... eventually.

-When asked by the doctor what color that patient's diarrhoea was, you show them your shoes.

-If they missed your shoes, you use the well-known "poo curry colour scale" ranging from chicken korma to spinach vindaloo.

-You can identify different causes of diarrhoea by the smell of it.

-Every time you walk you make a jingling noise because of all the keys, scissors, bleeps and clamps in your pocket.

-You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing than they know.

-You use bladder lavage bags to drip water onto your plants when
you're on holiday.

-You refuse to watch Casualty because its too much like the real
thing and it triggers flashbacks or...your family refuse to let you watch Casualty because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down X-rays.

-You avoid answering the phone on your day off to in case anyone from the hospital is trying to call and beg you to work.

-You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table throw up.

-You notice that you are using even more 4 letter words than you did before you started nursing.

-You've seriously considered catheterising your children before a long car journey.

-Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you. Most of them have the names of laxatives on them.

-You don't get excited about blood; unless it's your own.

-You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctor is more difficult"

-You've basted your Christmas turkey with a 50ml syringe.

-You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your co-worker and to shout if they need help.

-Eating crisps out of a clean sick-bowl is perfectly normal.

-Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.

-When checking the level of a patient's orientation you aren't sure of the day yourself. Or if nightshift, the month.

-You find yourself checking out other customers' veins in supermarket queues.

-You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table on your dinner break and are not be embarrassed when you wake up.

-You avoid unhealthy looking people in the shopping centre for fear that they will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

-You throw a farewell buffet for a co-worker and use a bed sheet for a tablecloth and bedpans to hold the nachos.

-You often stay awake for 24+ hrs at a time when you work nights and realise you don't need alcohol or drugs to hallucinate just lack of sleep...

-You pull over in a layby after working nights because you are too tired.

-To drive home and wake up to someone knocking on your window thinking you've had a stroke because you're passed out in your car drooling.

-Your finger has gone into places you never thought possible.

-You've seen more penises than any prostitute.

-You've sworn to have "Do Not Resuscitate" tattooed on your chest.

-If you are not a nurse and have been sent this by a friend who is, it's just to help you understand our mindset and questionable mental state!

Amanda

A women named Amanda is typically very beautiful with an incredible body and nice eyes. They are known to be very loveable. Amandas are envied by other women.

1. Damnnn, Amanda's lookin' fine today, as usual.
2. I wish I was Amanda, shes so pretty and nice!

I like this, it's very true.


FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!


FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! That was awesome!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.


FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."


FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...


FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.


FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!!!