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- It was a world of fear. It was the age of gargoyles.
- Me, Myself, and I
- One thousand years ago superstition and the sword ruled. It was a time of darkness. It was a world of fear. It was the age of gargoyles
In the Dark Ages, there was a race of heroic Warrior monsters known as Gargoyles. These creatures existed as stone in the day, but become flesh and blood at night. One Scottish clan made an alliance with humans to help protect a castle by night if the humans would protect their stone forms by day. The uneasy alliance was shattered when human prejudice provoked a betrayal that allowed the castle to be sacked and most of the resident clan destroyed, leaving only six adult survivors and a rookery of unhatched eggs. A further misunderstanding during the Clan's retaliation on the invaders and rescue of their hostages left the clan frozen in stone by a magic spell that would only be broken when the "Castle rises above the Clouds." For a thousand years, the castle laid abandoned and the clan condemned by this curse. In 1994, a wealthy multibillionare named David Xanatos, bought the castle and transported the whole structure to Manhattan where he placed it on top of the Eyrie building which he owned. It is high enough to be above the clouds, thus the conditions of the spell were met and the Gargoyles were revived. Now, this clan must adjust to this new age and gain friends like Detective Elisa Masa who reveals that Xanatos revived them to exploit them for his unscrupulous ends. This is coupled by the fact that another Gargoyle comrade, Demona, is alive from their age, and is now a insane renegade bent on the extermination of humanity. Rebelling against them, the clan abandon the castle and pledge to protect New York like they protected the castle in the past
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Okay, so it isn't on at a time when you'd normally be drinking, let's just leave that aside for a moment. What you'll need:
A bunch of tapes of Gargies eps...one isn't enough.
An ample supply of your favorite beverage...milk or Vodka right?
Drink once when:
Gargoyles break out of their stone coverings
Twice if they show all six of them doing it.
Xanatos chuckles evilly or smirks.
Owen makes a fastidious gesture.
Gargoyles' eyes glow.
Twice if they get the color wrong, i.e. a female gargoyle's eyes glow white.
Elisa's gun gets used.
Twice if it's not her using it.
Demona rants about the "cursed humans."
Twice if she isn't talking about Elisa.
A regular object (i.e. a laser or a trenchcoat) turns to stone along with a Gargoyle.
Matt talks about conspiracies.
Tim Curry overacts wildly.
Someone swoops down and catches someone else.
Twice if the someone and someone else aren't Goliath and Elisa.
Twice if Brooklyn makes a crack about it.
Hudson mentions television.
Lex fiddles with an electronic gadget.
Twice if he doesn't spew technobabble while doing it.
A flashback to Scotland occurs.
Twice if almost the entire episode is a flashback.
The Weird Sisters appear in an unusual form (the kind where the only giveaway is the hair color.)
Goliath and Elisa have sexual tension.
Twice if it's *really* blatant.
Three times if there are verbal innuendoes.
Goliath whines about losing Demona.
Twice if he does it after she just tried to kill him again.
Goliath whines about losing home/honor/etc.
A gargoyle roars.
Twice if the opponent is singularly unimpressed.
Xanatos informs us of just how well things have gone exactly as he planned.
Xanatos throws money around.
Bronx gets to go along when the gargoyles fly off to fight.
Something is foreshadowed.
Someone besides Elisa or Goliath gets to fight with Demona.
Someone crawls up a building.
Twice if it's not a gargoyle.
There's WAY too many people around for the time of night.
A Steel Clan robot gets blown up.
Jeff Bennett has dialogue with himself.
A flying gargoyle violates the laws of physics.
Elisa talks to herself.
Goliath waxes philosophical.
Hudson reminds someone of the "gargoyle way."
Hudson or Broadway sound out words.
Elisa kicks someone's butt.
Twice if it isn't Demona.
MacBeth and Demona yell at each other.
Someone's loincloth hovers on the edge of indecency.
Some magical talisman changes hands for the umpteenth time.
Fox and Xanatos make goo goo eyes at each other.
A policeman besides Morgan is shown (Demona in disguise counts).
Elisa's outfit is different (taking off her jacket counts).
Someone uses "Jalapena" as an explicative.
Twice if someone besides a gargoyles says it.
You see the full moon.
Twice if a gargoyle flies in front of it for effect.
Three times if the moon isn't full.
Majel Barrett does a voice
Twice if it is as a computer or overbearing mother
Three times if it as an overbearing mother speaking to a computer
A new guest character is played by Kath Soucie or Jeff Bennett.
(An additional drink for every new character per episode.)
Twice if you can't tell it's them before reading the credits.
A NEW guest character is played by someone associated with Star Trek in any incarnation. (Someone who's been a guest character on ST, such as Matt Frewer, does not count unless it is a recurring character; John "Q" DeLancie would count. Oh, don't I wish.)
Twice if it's someone who has already played a different guest character before.
Three times if the role they play is recognizeably similar to the character they play on ST. (e.g., Majel Barrett playing a nurse, someone's mother, or the voice of a computer; Wil Wheaton playing a boy genius; et cetera.)
Finish your Drink if it is Patrick Stewart.
Take a drink when more than one gargoyle is out cold, and they wake up at the same time.
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