If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called
"12".

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had
a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed
Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next
half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack
Bauer.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack
Bauer fucking hates lemonade.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but
Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is
because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him
finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never
needs to escape.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting
at another terrorist twelve miles away.

If you're holding a gun to Jack Bauer's head, don't count to three before
you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says
something then you better fucking do it.

When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him
43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack
Bauer".

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite
color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for
having a weakness.

Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had
to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl.. by himself.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times.
What the fuck have you done with your life?

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an
hour. And he's done it twice.

If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

Jack Bauer once won a game of rock paper scissors using niether rock, paper
nor scissors.

Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend anymore, they look
forward to the weekend being over, and watching 24 on Monday.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.

Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Jack Bauer during sex; because
they are doing the same thing.

She's a cracker people & i've decided to dedicate a section of my page purely to Anne's quotes!!!!

on the bouncy castle "we should sweep the grass off for people who have feet!"

* hope u don chole or i'll have to do the heinek remover on ya. hahahahaha lmao!!

* " His head is in my face"

* "is tuna fish?"

* "I hate toilets, they swalley my phones!"

* "Is there really no ham in hamburgers?"

* They asked a model on americas dummest models which is heavier a tonne of feathers or a tonne of rocks, i laughed an she said "uuuh there so dumb, of course its a tonne of rocks!!!"

* "i've the memory of a sive"

* Anne: "Is the black market in belfast?"
Me: "hahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
Anne: "uuuhhhh i know its in dublin!"

more to come.................

YOUR REAL NAME

Louise

YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of your first name, plus izzle)

Louizzle

YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)

Black Shark

YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street)

Anne Millrace

YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mam"s maiden name)

Farloing

YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink).

Red Vodka

YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mams maiden name, last letter of your mams middle name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name)

Oraeema