Dear ____
I don’t know how to tell you this but, our romance is nearly over. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose at the mental hospital and I saw you hit on my boyfriend. I’m sure you’re open enough to understand that your driving sucks. I’m returning your love letters to me to you, but ill keep your virginity as a memory. You should also know that i never will forget that night and your Cucumber-fetishism is weird.
Your everlasting enemy,
Annalise.

HERE'S HOW YOU DO IT:


Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning ( to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12)


1) What's the color of your shirt?


Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - The rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - I'm joining the Convent
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?


January - That night you picked your nose
February - When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?


Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?


Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?


Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadiens' goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your "My Little Pony" collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?


One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed
House- Sterile

7) Your mood right now?


Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?


White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids

It's harder than it looks!
Here is what you do. Use the 1st letter of your middle name to answer each of the following... They have to be real places, names, things... nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.


1) Your middle name starts with:
C

2) Famous artist/band/musician:
Chingy!!

3) 4-letter word
Card

4) Country/ State/ City:
Columbia?

5) Boy name
Carl

6) Girl name
Charlie

7) Animal
Cat

8 ) Something in the kitchen
Cup

9) Reason for being late
Cat ate my socks?

10) Body Part
Haha...C*nt

11) Drink
Coke

13) Something you eat:
Candy Cane

14) Your middle name:
Calsee

Now i would like to point out that if people are disagreeing that i'm cool (which i totally AM!) then i'll have to just accept that i'm awesome.
Because i obviously am as well.

STOP HATING BITCHES!