A message from Billy Connolly for you:

Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor six year old girl in Queensland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are we? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day! What a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour. Fuck 'em.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.

I don't fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

P.S: Send me 15 bucks and then fuck off

I _______ David
David is ________.
David thinks a lot about _______.
When I think of David, I think of ________.
I want David to ________ me.
If I were alone in a room with David I would _______.
I think David should _____.
David needs ______.
I want to ____________ David.
If I could describe David in a word: _______.
David will never ______ .
David can ______ my _______.
I hope David never _____.
I _____ David because _______.

1. A beer is always wet, a woman isn't.
1 point for beer!

2. Beer is horrible when it is hot.
1 point for women!

3. A cold beer satisfies you.
1 point for beer!

4. If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you. If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for sure and she might even not talk to you again.
Draw! (it depends on your point of view...)

5. 10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night and you don't have to drive anywhere!
1 point for women!

6. The older beer is, the better.
1 point for beer!

7. Many beers can make you see UFO's. Many women can make you see God!
1 point for women!

8. If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you're normal. If you ask yourself how the next beer will be, you're alcoholic.
1 point for women!

9. Removing the sticker off a beer is fun, but removing women's underwear is funner!
1 point for women!

10. For a beer you pay taxes.
1 point for women!

11. If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry.
1 point for beer!

12. You can always be sure that you're the first one "opening" a beer.
1 point for beer!

13. If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself.
1 point for beer!

14. You know exactly how much a beer costs.
1 point for beer!

15. A beer doesn't have a mother.
1 point for beer!

16. You can do it if you want, but beer won't ask you to hug her for half an hour after.
1 point for beer!

FINAL SCORE: Beer beats women. (9 to 6)

If you're a women and are getting angry, think that a beer wouldn't.
Another point for beer! Final score: 10 to 6