When I born, I black,

When I grow up, I black,

When I go in sun, I black,

When I cold, I black,

When I scared, I black,

When I sick, I black,

And when I die, I still black.

You white folks....

When you born, you pink,

When you grow up, you white,

When you go in sun, you red,

When you cold, you blue,

When you scared, you yellow,

When you sick, you green,

When you bruised, you purple,

And when you die, you gray.

So who you calling colored folks???

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your rubbish bin On Your Desk And Label It 'In..'

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone is Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your cheques, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'

7.. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. (and what a freaken lovely sight that would be ~ NOT )

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Have Your colleagues address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

16. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'

17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The car park, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'

18. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

SOCIALISM
> > You have 2 cows.
> > You give one to your neighbor.
> >
COMMUNISM
> > You have 2 cows.
> > The State takes both and gives you some milk.
> >
FASCISM
> > You have 2 cows.
> > The State takes both and sells you some milk.
> >
NAZISM
> > You have 2 cows.
> > The State takes both and shoots you.
> >
BUREAUCRATISM
> > You have 2 cows.
> > The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
> > throws the milk away...
> >
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell one and buy a bull.
> > Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> > You sell them and retire on the income.
> >
SURREALISM
> > You have two giraffes.
> > The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
> >
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
> > four cows.
> > Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has
> > dropped dead.
> >
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
> > using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at
> > the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
> > associated general offer so that you get all four cows
> > back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
> > The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
> > intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by
> > the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
> > cows back to your listed company.
> > The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
> > option on one more.
> > You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
> > States , leaving you with nine cows.
> > No balance sheet provided with the release.
> > The public then buys your bull.
> >
A FRENCH CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads,
> > because you want three cows.
> >
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
> > ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
> > You then create a clever cow cartoon image called
> > 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
> >
A GERMAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a
> > month, and milk themselves.
> >
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
> > You decide to have lunch.
> >
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You count them and learn you have five cows.
> > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> > You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
> > You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
> >
A SWISS CORPORATION
> > You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
> > You charge the owners for storing them.
> >
A CHINESE CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You have 300 people milking them.
> > You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
> > productivity.
> > You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
> >
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You worship them.
> >
A BRITISH CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > Both are mad.
> >
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
> > Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
> > You tell them that you have none.
> > No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and
> > invade your country.
> > You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
> > Democracy....
> >
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > Business seems pretty good.
> > You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
> >
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > The one on the left looks very attractive