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The Half Blood Daughter

I said I'd add to this... once I've finished my novel and screenplay. So many things to do, so few hours...

4/30/09 | me too! | Reply

The Half Blood Daughter
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  • Profile views: 92
  • Profile created: November 2008
  • www.bebo.com/thehalfblooddaughter
Category:
Horror

About Me

Tagline
Abomination or miracle? Curse or blessing?
Me, Myself, and I
Read the first part: http://www.bebo.com/mylifesucksthenovel
The story continues:

"You are the last life I'll take." she said.
"They'll take yours." he spat. "Do you think father will let you get away with this?"
"Crying for Daddy?" she asked mockingly and drove the knife into his chest. She left the knife where his heart should have been and motioned to Liam. "Drink." she said. "Don't let him go to waste. And once you've done with him..." She drew her hand across her throat. She locked the door to the office and left the club. In five minutes, she'd meet Liam by the fire exit. And then, vengeance over and done, she'd have to sit down and face the truth.

The truth...
Fern isn't a pure blood. She was human first. She's a killer, she's broken ties with the only ones who could protect her and she's committed the greatest crime a vampire can commit, she's broken the commandments: Thou Shall Not Kill Thy Blood and Keep Thy Blood Pure.
If she's caught, eternal hell awaits...

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  • Responding to Jessica's review...

    Thanks for the review Jess. I'll be honest, I haven't got the time to write a full-length novel (i'm currently working on one, a TV series and I have a 10page film to do for a media festival) but I turn to this whenever I feel like being a bit melodramatic. You're right - the action is dense, but the reason it seems 'rushed' is because Fern doesn't have a full range of 'human' emotions. She's desensetised to violence, she kills without compunction and she doesn't dwell too deeply over what she's done. Human life isn't really worth much to her, and to be honest, neither is her own immortality. She doesn't love her family, she doesn't even really love Liam, and she's been around for so long that she's a total and utter cynic. She doesn't have much of a personality yet, but I think when she finds her 'real' family and gives birth to her baby and sees Liam under threat, she might discover that she actually does care for something after all, and then we'll see her character grow. Keep reading. It will get better. I promise.

    0 Comments 229 weeks

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1 The truth 2 Silence 3 Murder without a body 4 Taken in. 5 Escape 6 Into the darkness

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  • Julian Thomas

    Heya, please check out my story... http://www.bebo.com/BloodPoisoning It's a vampire story with a twist, but I try to disuise that... let me know what you think... xo

    4/15/09
  • Mrs Brightside

    Woo hoo! More fans!

    2/4/09
  • X Jessica X
    X Jessica X

    Cont.- and then they find out she's pregnant.... I don't know. It just goes really fast. And it doesn't seem like you get much a feel for her personality. Liam there is a bit, if only because she goes on about how human he seems and how good and such..... and I can't really picture the characters. Like are these the sort of vampires that are stunners, or do they just look normal? And like I said, it seems like there's a sort of dark vibe vampire culture bit going on, but it doesn't really go in depth at all. I don't know. And my opinions aren't really that informed or anything, and I feel bad criticising and such, but that's just what I thought. It was really well written though, it flowed well, just like everything else of yours I've read. :P . I don't know if this story is a main priority or anything, but it just felt like there was a lot of potential for it to be more.

    12/22/08
  • X Jessica X
    luv X Jessica X

    Ugh. Review wont let me say it all, comment wont let me say it all, and it's just being a bother. Ok. here goes. anyhow. So I read this story, and the part that came before it. I picked this one from that list because I sort of have a thing for vampires. And hmm. All in all, I liked this one pretty well. There's an interesting vampire culture being hinted at in the backround. And the plot itself is interesting enough. But.... idk. Is this just a short story? Something interesting to pass a bit of time? Because that's what it felt like. It just seemed to move really quickly, and parts of it were too brief for my liking. Like yes, apparently her family life was not good, but it goes from hmm it wasnt good? to all of the sudden her brother's beating her..... and how Liam just accepts he's a vampire right off the bat.... and how, I don't know, they're just in love really fast an then they kill the brother right away, and she said it took a lot of planning but it seemed relatively easy,

    12/22/08
  • Nicole Love'S Theimagination
    luv Nicole Love'S Theimagination

    how comes youve carried it on on a different page ? just curious lol

    12/17/08