Martin Burns
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männlich, 24,
17
- von Wherever I Lay My Hat
- Profilaufrufe: 3.199
- Zuletzt aktiv: 2 Wochen her
- www.bebo.com/Marting111
- Motto
- How fuckin' bad is Hollyoaks?
- Ich über mich
- Well, mummy Martin and daddy Martin got rampantly drunk one night 23 years ago and called the stork and I came afloating down the river in a wicker basket with my twin sister who goes by the name of Gillian or Meedge for reasons into which I won't go. Prior to us, my parents also conceived the most iniquitous, violent soul you could ever hope not to meet. His name is Andrew and you would do well to steer clear of him. His appetite extends to small children and domestic animals. Nah, he ain't heavy, he's my brother. I spent my formative years at nursery and subsequently, Battlefield Primary-a military school for naughty boys - where I met my greatest friends with whom I still stay in touch today. A few more were enlisted at Shawlands Academy where I survived 6 years of varying success and playground beatings. Have achieved a first class honours degree in Mathematics from Strathclyde and am currently wondering what the fuck I should do with it now. Maybe stick it up my candy ass
- Meine bessere Hälfte
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We've been twins for as long as she can remember..
- Music
- RAWK! mostly. I'm a massive fan of The Foo Fighters but then, who isn't? Queens Of The Stone Age, Pearl Jam, early Metallica, Goo Goo Dolls, Thin Lizzy, The Tubes, Incubus, The Chemical Brothers, Faith No More, Frank Zappa are all music to my ears. My music tastes aren't so narrow minded and not exclusive to RAWK! though. I'm also partial to the workings of a little known band called Material; replete with soothing, melodious and occasionally eastern beats underpinning introspective and insightful lyrics.
- Films
- Busty Blond Bitches 7. Nah, films that have touched my heart include The Shawshank Redemption, Pulp Fiction, A Beautiful Mind, Trainspotting, Human Traffic, 24 Hour Party People. I could go on, and I will. Good Morning Vietnam, Donnie Darko, Ghostbusters, As Good As It Gets, All Dogs Go To Heaven and of course The Land Before Time I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, XI and X
- Interests
- Oh you know, sports, chicks, power tools, monster trucks
- Scared Of
- Lions and tigers and bears, oh my.
- Happiest When
- I'm not in the vicinity of any lions, tigers or bears. Also, I like curling up in front of the fire and licking myself...no wait, that's my cat. I'm pretty happy when reading a book provided the book is of a literary and intellectual merit commensurate to my cranial capacity. I'm happy rocking but I've got plenty of time for rolling both of which are done to the max in my rock band consisting of myself and the multi-talented Samim. We are PipeDream and this is what we do.
- Penis
- A device used to wean and convert lesbians and virgins into useful, productive members of society. Also, a fan of Linkin Park.
- Books
- As a keen or, as people who don't read anything other than trashy novels or the back of the Corn Flakes cereal box declare themselves, an avid reader I love the classics.Pride And Prejudice, which follows the life of Lizzie Bennet an intelligent woman who thinks she has the arrogant Mr. Darcy down to a tee, she despises him.But does she really know all there is to know about him?Hilarity ensues.I've read Catcher In The Rye and was underwhelmed.People celebrate the book as"a fascinating and enlightening description of our human condition".Bullshit.I found the chief character, Holden Caulfield, nothing short of annoying.He's a whiney neurotic little runt. I couldn't relate to him at all.But hey, this is my opinion and it counts for jack.I loved Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird, Raymond Chandler's The Big Sleep.Mike Haddon's The Curious Incident is a wonderful study in the workings of a dissociative mind.Exercise your minds, friends.
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10 Reasons Why Men Are Lazy
1.0 Kommentare 352 Tage
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Hates and Pet Peeves
I have been in Edinburgh the last few days and I've seen one or two things that have irked me and got on my nerves prompting me to write this impotent rant which has kind of gotten out of hand and of which you, dear reader, are about to read...
Je deteste...
1. Dudes who wear sandles
"Here, that douchebag's wearing sandles. What a douchebag."
2. Pseudo-glamorous pouting pill-popping douchebags who think they're part of something special.
(An oldie but a goodie)
3. Pretty girls who fail to recognise that the douchebag that they're with is a douchebag.
"Is she really going out with him?"
(Today's Sesame Street was brought to you by the word "douchebag" and the number "i".)
4. Emo, and all it stands for.
"If I act all sensitive and brooding then girls will want to fuck me"
- Pull up yer pants and shut yer fuckin mouth.
5. People who say "I'm no racist, but" and then follow it up with some racist remark.
"I'm no racist, but see these Pakis..."
6. Nacho Novo.
"El rat fucker."
7. Simon Cowell.
(I just don't understand how someone so unencumbered by intelligence could be so arrogant)
8. Girls who claim that the reason they like guys with big hands is because they want to be protected by them. What from? The wee willies of the world?!?!
"I'm no misogynist, but..."
Just a short litany of things that have inflamed my wrath. Note well that there are many more things floating around inside my tiny mind but I thought I would set the ball rolling and you could add to it anything that has ground your gears recently (not including ME of course) and join me in this catharsis, whoever you are.
2 Kommentare 523 Tage
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Ten Commandments to Being a Gracious and Respectable Customer in a Bar
1. Thou shall say please and thank you; thou cannot say please and thank you enough.
2. Thou shall respect, recognise and appreciate a bar-person as a human-being and not a fucking vending machine.
3. Thou shall not make disparaging remarks about a bar-person's appearance even if they do have comically long ginger hair and facial pubescence.
4. Thou shall not be unconscionably rude and selfish and ask for a drink while a bar-person is serving another patron and qualify it by saying "when you've got a minute" because said bar-person will never have a minute.
5. Thou shall not pontificate on the perfect way to pour a pint.
6. Thou shall not have the warped and misguided notion that a bar-person is somehow responsible for the pricing of drinks because they ain't.
7. Thou shall drink up at the end of a night and promptly fuck off with an ounce of grace, gratitude and dignity.
8. Thou shall SAY your order, not SPRAY IT.
9. Thou shall specify what colour of Aftershock it is that thou wants because otherwise, thou will get green.
10. If thou is sufficiently wealthy, thou shall tip a bar-person once in a while and thou will remember that 30p is 70p below an insult.
Another post-workial rant I'm afraid friends and if any fellow bar-persons have any amendments to make, feel free, be my guest, help yourself, knock yourself out, go for it etc. ©3 Kommentare 1023 Tage
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51 Wochen her
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54 Wochen her
Brian Dollin
Hey Martin, I no longer use this thing (i should delete it but I have photos here i dont have anywhere else) so, anything that i have supposedly sent you is probably a virus. dont follow the link...
Also I have had som messages from friends saying that they can see me on some kind of video or something with a similar link - bebo has gone to the wolves ... -
56 Wochen her
David Doherty
ive forgotten how to play football. im sure there was a point in my live when i could at least pretend i could play! those days have sadly gone.
better get your pressure ticket sorted mon frere.
Hey ho, get yer ticket wi a glass ae fuckin ice! ken like say ya fuckin teuctar pie! -
57 Wochen her via Handy
Collossus
martin, isaw
Pan the satyr wearing Nazi regalia dancing to Ind techno. I'm sorry I think it happened xx. Kind regardis col
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The Bear57 Wochen herPage 3. The Extra. 23 October issue. Get it and look at it.
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58 Wochen her
David Doherty
hello good sir, how are we? just listened to goose black gloves, and i was pleasantly surprised. why i should be surprised i do not know as u often come up trumps in suggesting music for me to listen to. seems like an age since we last had a drink, i suggest one or maybe 15 for this weekend? i'll text u as i now how have a phone. its the same number. catchy soon bud
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One More Tune.CheapNnasty.Limitless59 Wochen her
Cheap ‘N’ Nasty
sleazy electronic party tunes
every 3rd Thursday
NICENSLEAZY
Thursday October 16th – drrty electro
11.30-3am, £2/3
Kirsty Munro
Vorley
Drinks from £1.50!!
Kirsty plays some sick tunes. Many moons ago Matthew bumped into her at one of Glasgow’s bigger clubs (that may or may not have been embroiled in a sleaze scandal in the last month or so) and recognised her from the DJ booth. “Gonne show us how to play music like that?”
“Aye, sure”
And sure enough Matthew learnt the basics of mixing, later decided to try his hand running his own night and now finds himself asking her back at every possible opportunity. He’d caught the bug.
See, Kirsty is known for successfully running an Optimo pre club -Manhattan Project (at that same big venue) which led to a lasting residency where she supported Blackstrobe, Mylo, Erol Alkan, The Glimmers to name a few. So, yeah she’s guaranteed to play some dead sick tunes, it’ll be cheap and of course it’ll be nasty, darlin’….so do yourself a favour and stay away if you don’t want infected.
In support, CNN plucks another gem from obscurity: Vorley from way up North East (Banchory, not Baillieston, silly) will be gracing the much vaunted Sleazy decks to provide that party atmosphere you’ve been looking for and keep the walls shaking as you sip a nasty White Russian (£2 in Nice N Sleazys still). Further genre defiance courtesy of Matthew Craig (One More Tune).
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Supernova Glasgow59 Wochen herHey Martin,
Halloween !!! Halloween !!! Halloween !!!
Friday 31ST October @ Byblos Club (Merchant City), Glasgow
A very special guest Legendary UMEK (Slovenia)
www.umek.si
Come & join the fun dressed up ? -
The Shed Tartan Army59 Wochen herNice inclusion Dr Burns, he will take someone's place in the next shortlist.
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Craig Chapman62 Wochen herI wish they were mine, they are in fact the mighty Poison's!
You couldn't justify leaving your work? Sounds like a man with a plan to me?
The number 5 was somewhat interesting, I think the other's should be better. Let me know if you're heading on over on Wednesday. -
One More Tune.CheapNnasty.Limitless64 Wochen her
Next Weekend!
ONE MORE TUNE
Techno, Electro, House & Disco
Every 2nd Saturday
Blackfriars Basement
Merchant City
SATURDAY 13TH SEPTEMBER:
11pm-3am, £4*/5
James Patrick (SNAP, CRACKLE & POP)
DJ Mark David
Define Define (R Thomson & M Craig)
*before midnight
new drink prices!
£2.50 vodka mix £2.50 pints £2 btls Kronenbourg
CHEAP 'N' NASTY
sleazy Electro & sick party tunes
Every 3rd Thursday
Nice ‘N’ Sleazy’s
Sauchiehall St
THURSDAY18TH SEPTEMBER
11.30pm-3am, £2/£3
Mingo-Go
Terry Khaos
Matthew Craig (ONE MORE TUNE)
£2 White Russians, £1.50 btls Kronenbourg
xx -
65 Wochen her
David Doherty
just watched the qotsa set on bbc website. haha ur right, he has acquired a curious new singing technique. sounds like elvis costello!! what the fuck. still fucking brilliant tho.
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66 Wochen her
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One More Tune.CheapNnasty.Limitless66 Wochen her
gig time
Thursday 21st August
JG Wilkes (Optimo)
+host Matthew Craig (One More Tune)
@ Cheap 'N' Nasty
Nice 'N' Sleazy's
Sauchiehall St
11-3, £2/£3 (cheap before 12/students)
£1.50 btls Kronenbourg, £2 white/black russians
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67 Wochen her
Collossus
More heidbangers than you could shake the proverbial stick at, you would have had a ball berating them.
First night I lost my mobile, digi camera, two hundred euros, my way and my dignity had to sleep on the beach as I didn't know the name of the apartamentos. Still great though, I'm a masochist, what can I say.
We need to all meet up soon for some of that obscure beer, think it's called a Millers, and fill you in on the details.
Catch ye Versace -
Angela Munro68 Wochen hersee a lot of ppl cant see wat the hype was about 4 harry potter, personaly i liked it becoz he wasnt like ne of the heroes in my childrens books, he had a personality n grew up, unlike the bloody famous 5 n secret 7 n 3 investigators etc lol
i agree wif u bout dracula-wasnt as gud as it was cracked up 2 b n the villain was really not that scary!!!
enuf of the book talk stuart roney god i 4got he had that hair thing n u cud neva tell if he was lukin at u or the person behind u lol !!
u were always gud at maths so do u have a profession in mind?
glad 4 gillian ill add her after i rite this!
im goin in2 my final year at strathclyde doin immunology microbiology joint honours gettin pretty gud marks so far, hopin to do a masters in research n (if i can b bothered n get the marks) possibly a phD if i get that far!!!!
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Angela Munro68 Wochen her
well hello martin burns long time no speak!
i only got bebo cuple of months ago so just been searchin 4 sum old skool pals 2nit!! ges who i saw the otha day? stuart roney!! mind him from our regi class lol he totally walked straight past me lol
just been havin a luk at ur page turns out we have more in common than i thot-u like readin v.gud books tell me have u read the old classics like jekyll n hyde n bram stokers dracula? wat do u fink of harry potter then? (if u h8 it ill have 2 disown u lol )
just had to ask since not a lot of my pals are readers lol lol
hows gillian n ur bro? u been up 2 much l8ly? -
Julie Russell69 Wochen heryeah you're right martin. its very similar to polish i hear. i can't really put any other sentences together though. lol. anyway u still workin away at uni this summer? ur goin to ibiza right? that'll be so messy.
A guy in Giffnock has done an inverted Tino.
The Bear 1 AntwortSee this week's Extra on Thursday
NO
The Bear 0 Antworten