How old is Grandpa???

Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.

Grandpa said, "I was born before:"

' television

' penicillin

' polio shots

' frozen foods

' Xerox

' contact lenses

' Frisbees and

' the pill

There was no:

' radar /FONT>

' credit cards

' laser beams or

' bal-point pens

Man had not invented:

' pantyhose

' air conditioners

' dishwashers

' clothes dryers

' and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and

' man hadn't yet walked on the moon



We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy thingsfor 5 ad 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . . but who could afford one?
Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

' "grass" was mowed,

' "coke" was a cold drink,

' "pot" was something your mother cooked in and

' "rock music" was your grandother's lllaby.

' "Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,

' "chip" meant a piece of wood,

' "hardware" was found in a hardware store and

' "software" wasn't even a word.


I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it.

This Man would be only 58 years old!

Snow warning

One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast.

They hear the announcer say,

"We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on
the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

Norman 's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer says,

"We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the
odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

Norman 's wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says,
"We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park .....Then the
power goes out. Norman 's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her
face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do! Which side of the street do I
need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice, that all men who are married to
blondes exhibit, Norman says .

"Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes(Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.Here's why. A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot ofpotted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot ofthem indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.It turned out that a little green garden grasssnake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, itslithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.She let out a very loud scream.The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked tosee what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About thattime the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought thesnake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told himto lie still and called an ambulance.The attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests and loaded him onthe stretcher and started carrying him out.About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the EmergencyMedical Technician saw it and dropped his end of thestretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in thehospital.The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on aneighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with arolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided itwas gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where shefelt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted , the snakerushed back under the sofa. The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR torevive her. The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocerystore, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husbandin the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out andcutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lyingon the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that he had beenbitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle ofwhiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that adrunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when thewomen tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbingwife. Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of thepolicemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit theleg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and,as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through thewindow into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out andraced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it andsmashed into the parked police car. Meanwhile, the burning drapes, were seen by neighbors who called in the firedepartment. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they werehalfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires andput out the power and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city blockare a (but they did get the house fire out). Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house wasrepaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all wasright with their world. A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snapfor that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bringin their plants for the night. And that's when he shot her.