It's an unrequited love. A love that is not returned.

I hate the fact that just seeing you, it makes my heart beat so fast, making me queasy and sick in the stomach. I know it's just fluttering butterflies but it feels so much more. And everything reminds me of you, every song, everything.

I stare at your pictures everyday, hoping one day that you'd feel the same way. And the tears that run down my face isn't from happiness. Every word that leaves your mouth stabs into my heart, bleeding rivers of pain that ruins through my veins. And you don't know how much it hurts.

Knowing all this, i don't blame you. After all, it's an unrequited love.

Things that i have noticed that seem to fuck up around the house muchly.. really o___o

1)there seems to be an unlimited supply of scotch fingers lying on the coffee table that NEVER seems to disappear.. o__o co-incidence? deja vu?

2)My internet.. is laggy as hell? conclusion.. kenneth spends all this time playing on the internet.. whilst his lovely sister actually does 4unit maths study..

3)when my parents ask what i think about a situation.. they never actually take into account what i say.. but still ask? it puzzles me slightly.. if u dont care about my opinion why ask? hmm hypocricy rocks?

4)my mum has this thing about the washing and cleaning around the house.. if u dont do it instantly.. she will scream at u and call u lazy.. and if u forgot.. oh u went there girlfriend..

5)my grandma is an absolute crack head.. always burns food.. and when she doesnt burn the food its salty as hell.. my mum tells me not to tell her to do things because she gets confused.. 10minutes later she asks grandma to cook soup.. its a slight issue...

6) ive noticed.. there is always an obsession with the veranda.. like making it clean.. and washing it.. honestly.. the veranda is out back.. no one can see it o__o and we hardly have people over and we never use it anyway...

7) my mum.. always seems to come home early these days.. at about 6.. its not my fault.. im use to her coming home at 7.30ish.. and she has a scream that i dont shower before she comes home..

if i dont shower before i come on.. she emphasises that.. i seem to be in "her" way... T___T;;

9) my mum.. refuses to buy me shoes.. when i only have about 3-4 pairs.. and she on the other hand.. HYPOCRICY! and she always says how i dont wear some pair of shoe.. well i dont wear it.. because they dont fit.. and umm.. wat about her shoes? o__o she has like100 pairs and she doesnt wear ALL OF THEM

10) everything i do.. always leds to the remark "your such a waste of money, do u know how hard i had to work for $100?" and if im a waste of money why have kids in the first place? o___o

11) when my music is too loud.. well i like to have my music loud so i dont have to listen to my mum talk.. and its like.. what is ur problem women.. its not like ur bloody "karaoke" isnt loud..

12) my dad.. insists that.. we must DIY everything in the house.. even the toilet....

TOILET + DRILL = HOLE + WATER EVERYWHERE

13) they seem to always complain about how i dont eat fruit.. do u know why? its because u always make me eat fucken apples.. im sick of eating fucken apples every single fucken day..

14) i dont like going out with my parents.. because i remeber when they were small.. they always make the remark that i was fat.. my self esteem.. geez wat self esteem?

15) everyday.. they seem to point out the flaws in me.. like.. my pimples.. and say "look at how ugly u are" thanks mum and thanks dad.. i enjoy feeling like shit.. and having pimples.. because i give myself pimples on purpose.. u fucken retards...

16) everyday my depression seems to get worse and worse.. because of my family...

U know I totally learnt to type into a word doc JUST INCASE my computer/internet crashes.. LOL just recently.. I have realised that.. this time next year.. I will be doing my hsc.. and that my next bio, English and cafs task is worth 25% of my hsc… don’t u reckon that’s fucken freaky? Like soon I will be off in uni.. and doing my own thing.. and then getting married and getting a job.. having kids.. and all that jazz.. quiet freaky don’t u reckon?

Well hmms.. there isn’t much for me to write about… except… yeh iunno.. wat annoys me right now.. is how fake the whole year 12 group is.. like.. seriously… like.. everyone bitches about each other behind someone’s back.. and then act like everything is alright in front of them.. like honestly honey.. its not alright I mean.. honestly why would u do that? If u don’t like someone keep it to urself.. honestly.. fuck off I don’t care what you think about some other girl.. love while u can.. live like there is no tomorrow.. don’t give others shit they don’t deserve..

I mean how would u like it if someone bitched about u? like honestly? D= u would be out of ur mind and cause a rampage.. but honestly honey.. SHUT THE DUCK UP yeps this is directed to ever year “12”er out there… SHUT THE FUCK UP I DON’T CARE IF U HATE SOME GIRL SHE PROBABLY HATES U TOO DDDDD= the truth sometimes hurt… just keep it to urself..

But yes on a lighter note =] mikaela’s party.. like “dance party theme”, lemme clear this up NUMBER ONE I do not dance… I rave :3 and rave retardedly.. its not even rave its just me chucking a spaz.. LOL NUMBER 2 “come dressed in dressy casual like your going clubbing or something” like honey wth? I don’t go “clubbing” at the age of 16.. not like you people with illegal ids… but yeh.. wat does denise wear?

LOL she told me to wear socks with fluro stockings.. and im like thinking. Maybes blue stockings :3.. like a wat kinda blue.. hmms.. ocean blue.. LOL nah iunno wat blue its called.. just a dark rich blue :3 shirt? No idea.. im working towards it.. LOL that’s half my outfit planned.. like omfg.. =D

So yes.. iunno wat else to write about.. make it a short one today =]