Everybody get out your phones and request Mr Lightweight on Beat 102-103 FM!!!

Text: 0851029103

Songs up for air play:

Dear Kayden

Headed For The Dancefloor

Maybe baby

Get texting!!!

............pwease.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
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Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
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8.352

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
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8.348

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
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8.306

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
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Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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8.243

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
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8.227

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
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If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
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8.161

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
906
8.135

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
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Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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7.999

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
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7.983

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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7.930

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
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7.888

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
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7.853

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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7.714

Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
682
7.689

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
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7.688

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
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7.618

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
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7.611

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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7.586

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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7.566

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on

Every time you go to a gig there is always a girl crying in the toilets.

Everyone who grew up in the 80's typed in the numbers 57433754 into a calculator.

Reading while drunk is funky. The letters jump out and say 'Hello'.

You cannot keep your eyes open while sneezing. It is impossible.

By now most people have typed number 4 into a calculator.

You never know where to look when your eating a banana.

The most embarrasing thing to do is to call your teacher mom or dad.

Most men whilst taking a wizz flush the toilet half way through and race the flush.

Old people with mobile phones look wrong.

Every plate of chips has a manky looking one.

Your never quite sure is it safe to eat the green crisp in your packet.

If Superman is bulletproof why does he duck when a gun is thrown at him.

If money doesn't grow on trees. Why do banks have brances?