You know your Scottish...


When...

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.


3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.


4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer
blootert.


5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.


6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories pure
class!


7. Ye measure distance in minutes.


8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him in yer ain family.


9. Ye go tae North Berwick cos ye think it is like gaun tae the
ocean.


10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.


11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.


12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.


13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.


14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.


15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.


16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.


17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.


18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals.


19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these
words;

How's it hingin
Clatty
Boggin
Cludgie
Pished
Get it up ye
Wee beasties
Erse bandit
Amurny
Away an bile yer heid
Peely-wally
Humphey backit
Ba'-heid
Baw bag
Dubble nugget

The Rules

1) Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, usually one club and two balls.

2) Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3) Unlike outdoor golf, the object of bedroom golf is to get the club in the hole, and keep the balls out.

4) For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check for shaft firmness before play begins.

5) Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length in order to avoid damage to the hole.

6) The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7) It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately on arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention being paid to the well formed bunkers.

Players are cautioned not to mention any other course they may have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played at the time. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.

9) Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

10) Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they consider to be a private course.

11) Players should not assume a course is on shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12) The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with, and approach to said hole.

13) Players are strongly advised to obtain the course owner’s permission before attempting to play the back nine.

14) Slow play is encouraged. However players should be prepared to proceed at a much quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner’s request.

15) On no account should players first broach the subject of four ball play. Leave that entirely to the course owner’s discretion.

16) It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

17) Unless you and the course owner are fully in agreement, a hole in one is not considered good policy.

1 In all cases the course owner may suspend play at any time. Players are advised to comply with any such request, although re-entry to the course may be permitted at short notice. Players are always advised to have their equipment ready for play in such situations.

if you wanna just add me on that its roberthoustonno13@msn.com