~*YOU*~

* What time is it now? 15.22

* What is your full name? Vanessa Maria Katherine O'Connor
*Single or taken? taken
* What does your name mean? nothin
* What's your nickname? V, nessa, nessie, slow
*Do you have an innie or an outie? both

* What size are your shoes? 5

* How tall (or short) are you? 5'5

* What do you always get complimented on? my boobs
* What is your worst quality? im such a procrastinator!
* What are the last four digits of your phone number? why

* Do you think you're cute? yea why not!
* Hair colour? blonde

* Do you wear contacts? no glasses
* Living Arrangements? Rathfanham


*FAVOURITES*~

* Favourite Drink? coke
Favourite Alcoholic Drink? now wine

* Favourite Month? summer months

* Favourite Food? italian

* Favourite Board Game? monopoly i suppose but it goes on too long.

* Favourite Clothing Brand? emmmmm penneys!? urban outfitters, topshop.....i know they're shops

* Favourite day of the Year? my b-day ...cept the whole getting older part

* Favourite color(s)? meh any....im not 5

* Favourite animal? my little schmogggys (jack and jess)

~*FAMILY AND FRIENDS*~

*Do u have more boy or girl friends? girl

* Who're your best friends? ..best friend? thats so primary school.... i love all my friends

* Are your parents together? yes

* How often do you get together with the family? most nights, monday is usually everyone
* Do you tell your family or your friends more? tell them wat?

* Anything special about your parents? wt kinda question is dat?!

*YES OR NO*~

* You're a flirt? are u tellin me i am??

* You're slutty? hey!!!

* You're mean? ur mean

* You like someone? yes
* You can keep secrets? yes
* You dance in front of the mirror? yeah (shame)

* You sing in the shower? no

* You liked Britney Spears? shes an idiot!! but yea i hav her album
* You've seriously hurt someone? i hope not!!
* You've been hurt seriously? no i havent....... this quiz thinks it knows everything!!!
* You get your way? wen im a good girl i do!!!!
* You willing to try new things? sure
* You've cheated on a test? sure

*RIGHT NOW*~

* What are you wearing? jeans and stripy top (like a cartoon robber
* What are you listening to? feck sake sweet sixteen is on again

* How are you feeling? bored

* What are you eating? nothing

* How many ppl r online? i dunno n im not gonna check

* How's the weather? shit
* What books are you reading? oh ha a free one i got with glamour, its about wags (the shame)

~*GIRLS ONLY*~

* How many lip glosses do you have? too many

* What perfume do you wear? loads of different ones...chanel mademoiselle is one

* What's in your purse? very little money

* Tall or short boys? taller than me

* Blonde or brunette? both

* Short hair on boys? short, long on guys is always greasy n yuck

* What do you find annoying in a guy? heavy breathing oh n football talk!!!!

* What's the first thing you notice about guys? their looks

*OTHER QUESTIONS*~

* What was the last movie you saw? thinks......no country for old men......that was a scary haircut

* What did you have for dinner? none yet.........feed me!!

* What are you hoping for? a big fat check........just out of nowhere

* What did you last dream about? cant remember

* What was the last thing you ate? beans.........surprisingly it wasnt chocolate

* If you were a crayon what colour what would you be? multicolour

* Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? me ma

* Do you like the person who sent you this email? i forget who

* Ever had a crush on a teacher? noooo most of my teachers hav been women!

* Are you too shy to ask someone out? yea prob

* Scary movies or happy ending? happy i suppose

* Summer or winter? summer

* Relationships or one night stands? ha relationships

* Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate

* Anything else you want to add? yea, john i hate u this <....

Excerpts from a dogs diary!

Day number 180:
8:00am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!


Excerpts from a cats diary!

DAY 752- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction i get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow i may eat another houseplant...

DAY 761- Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. Must try this on their bed...

DAY 765- Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Not working according to plan...

DAY 768- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo". What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of one of the oppressors' appendages still lodged between my teeth...

DAY 771- There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event; however, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "drinks". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage...

DAY 774- I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant as he speaks with them regularily. I am certain he reports my activities. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time...

Under the Sea

Under the sea
Under the sea
There'll be no accusations
Just friendly crustaceans
Under the sea!


kirks song

Can I borrow a feeling?
Can you lend me a jar of love?
Hurtin' hearts need some healin'
Take my hand with your glove of love


Whacking Day

O whacking day, o whacking day,
Our hallowed snake-skull cracking day.
We'll break their backs,
Gouge out their eyes,
Their evil hearts,
We'll pulverise.
O whacking day, o whacking day,
May God bestow His grace on thee.


Duff

Duff beer for me,
Duff beer for you,
I'll have a Duff,
You have one, too.


Talkin' Softball

Well Mr. Burns had done it,
The power plant had won it,
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while,
Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the barroom tile...

We're talkin' softball...
From Maine to San Diego.
Talkin' softball...
Mattingly and Canseco.
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw.
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law.
We're talkin' Homer... Ozzie and the Straw.

We're talkin' softball...
From Maine to San Diego.
Talkin' softball...
Mattingly and Canseco.
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw.
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law.
We're talkin' Homer... Ozzie and the Straw.

The Stonecutters Song

Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg...... a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We doooooo!

We Put the Spring in Springfield

You could close down Moe's or the Quick-E-Mart, and nobody would care
But the heart and soul of Springfield's in our Maison Derriere!
We're the sauce on your cake we're the cheese in your cake
We put the spring in Springfield!
We're the lace on your night gown, the point after touchdown
Yes we put the spring in Springfield!
We're that little extra spice that makes existance extra nice;
a giddy little thrill at a reasonable price
Our only major quarrel's with your total lack of morals
Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad; they seem to entertain your dad!
The gin in your martini, the clams on your linguini;
Yes we put the (boing!) in Springfield!
We remember our first visit; the service was exquisite
Why Joseph I had no idea!
Come on now you were working here!
Without it, we'd have had no fun since March of 1961!
To shut them down now would be twisted,
we just heard this place existed!
The highlights in your hair-do, the extra arms on Vishnu!
So don't take the (boing!)
We won't take the (slide whistle)
Yes let's keep the (crash) in Spriiiiiiiingfield!

The Amendment Song

Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?
I'm not garbage!
I'm an amendment to be
Yes an amendment to be
And I'm hoping that they'll ratify me!
There's a lot of flag-burners
Who have got too much freedom
I wanna make it legal for policemen
To beat 'em
'Cuz there's limits to our liberties!
Least I hope and pray that there are
'Cuz those liberal freaks go too far!
But what if you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?
Then I'll crush all opposition to me!
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay
If he fights back, I'll say that he's gaaaaaay!

Ya don't win friends with salad, ya don't win friends with salad, ya don't win friends with salad!!!!