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Section I - General Rules
1) The first person to yell "SHOTGUN" gets to ride in the front seat.
2) The remaining back seats may be divvied up in the same manner by being the first to call "back right seat", etc..
3) The word "shotgun" must be loud enough to be heard by at least one witness. If no witness is to be found, or in case of a tie, the driver has the final word. After all, it is most likely his car. (note: if it isn't his car, and the owner is present, the owner's decision is final. Owner must be sober, however, or he will defer his judgment to the driver.)
4) Early calls are strictly prohibited. All occupants of the vehicle (including the driver) must be outside of the building and directly on the way to the vehicle before shotgun may be called. Under no circumstances may a person call shotgun inside a building. For sake of simplicity, a garage is considered to be outside. Parking structures and detached garages are always considered as being outdoors, even if they are underground.
5) A person may only call shotgun for one way of a trip. Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle or still technically on the way to the first location. For example, one can not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey.
6) Being as how everyone is created equal, men have the same right as women to the front seat of the car. i.e. women don't own the front seat.
7) One is allowed to ride shotgun as many times as he can call it, but for himself only. No one can call shotgun for their slower friend, unless the friend has a speech or mental handicap that prevents them from calling it for themselves.
The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The driver has the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or more persons.
4 Comments 314 weeks
> >First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge
> >fan of yours. My
> >friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The
> >perfect post-work
> >cocktail, a beer at the pub, and you're even around in
> >the holiday's
> >hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're
> >stuck in the midst of
> >endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been
> >wondering about
> >your intentions.
> >While I want to believe that you may have my best
> >interests at heart, I
> >that your influence has led to some unwise
> >1. Phone calls:
> >While I agree
> >with you that communication is
> >important, I question the
> >suggestion that any conversation of substance or
> >necessity takes place
> >after 2AM. Why would you make me a call those
> >girlfriends when I know for a fact that they do not
> >want to hear from me
> >during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
> >2. Eating:
> >Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you
> >suggest that I eat a
> >kebab with chilli sauce, along with stale chips
> >(washed down with WINE &
> >topped off with a Kit Kat after a few Doritos & chilli
> >dip)? I'm an
> >eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this
> >3. Clumsiness:
> >Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to
> >do more yoga to
> >improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue
> >home by causing me
> >to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the
> >black & blue marks
> >that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are
> >beyond me.
> >Similarly, it should never take me more than 45
> >seconds to get the front
> >door key into the lock.
> >4. Furthermore:
> >The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting
> >ridiculous. I know a
> >little penance for our previous evening's debauchery
> >may be in order,
> >but the 4PM hangover immobility is completely
> >unacceptable. My entire
> >day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions
> >are taken (water,
> >vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to
> >sleep/passing out
> >face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn,
> >the hangover
> >should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily
> >Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years
> >now & would like
> >to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been
> >the invoker of
> >stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the
> >needed companion
> >when I just don't know what to do with the extra money
> >in my pockets.
> >order to continue this friendship, I ask tht you
> >carefully review my
> >grievances above & address them immediately. I will
> >look for an answer
> >no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your
> >possible solutions &
> >hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
> >Thank you,
> >Your Biggest Fan
> >P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
> >1. Innovative
> >2. Preliminary
> >3. Proliferation
> >4. Cinnamon
> >THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
> >1. Specificity
> >2. British Constitution
> >3. Passive - agressive disorder
> >THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN
> >1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
> >2. Nope, no more beer for me.
> >3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
> >4. Good evening officer. Isn't it lovely out
> > tonight?
> >5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
1 Comment 321 weeks
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