On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one child to be thrown into the sun

Little know medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the caesarian section when he roundhouse kicked his way through his mothers womb

The Bermudia Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square before Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked one of the edges off

The show survivor had ideas of people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and no1 is brave enough to retrieve the footage

Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer

Little Miss MUffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier

When Chuck Norris works out on a Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like its being raped

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors died unexplainable, needlessly brutal deaths

Chuck Norris' first job was a paperboy. There were no survivors

Thnere are two types of people in the world. people that suck and Chuck Norris

70% of a humans weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris is his dick

Chuck Norris once rode a bull. 9 months later it had a calf

Chuck Norris' dick is so big it has its own dick. and that dick is still bigger then yours

Tehy say curiosity killed the cat. that is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. ALL of them

This one time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist

Chuck Norris doesnt say "whos your daddy?" because he knows he is the answer

In honour of Chuck Norris, all McDonalds in Texas made a size bigger the Supersize. Just ask to be Chucksized

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium

Chuck Norris made his own type of karate. its called Chuck-Will-Kill

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented all colours. except pink. tom cruise invented pink

When you're Chuck Norris anything plus anything is equal to one. One roundhouse kick to the face

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding a Joker, a Get Out of Jail Free Card Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from UNO

Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her

Everytime Chuck Norris smiles someone dies. Unless he smiles while he roundhouse kicks someone to the face. then two people die

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was Charle. Chuck did not even respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded

Two wrongs dont make a right. Unless your Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face

When the Bogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesnt read books. he simply stares at them til he gets the information that he wants

There is no theory of evolution. just a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to exist

Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally is hiding

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run round the world and punch himself in the back of the head

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. HE decides what time it is

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile

Chuck Norris ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper inside it

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten into different shades of black and blue

When Chuck Norris falls in water he doesnt get wet, the water get Chuck Norrised

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom

The Bible was originally called "Chuck Norris and friends"

Chuck Norris did shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evel from the land. This man is not Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris killed that man

Chuck Norris recently has the idea to sell his urine as a beverage. This we know as Red Bull

In a recent survey it was discovered that 94% of women lost their virg