..read this and pass it on if u think its funny...

The Future of Nursery Rhymes


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.



It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh shit, it's Global Warming.


Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.



Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.



Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.



Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.



Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.



Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy

Committed suicide?
Said I lov u?
Kissed u?
Lived next door?
Was raped?
Started smokin?
What do u think of me?
Best memory of me?
How long will we be friends?
Do u love me?
Wud u hug me?
Do you fancy me?
Scale of 1-10,how pretty am i?
Am I loveable?
Describe me in 1 wrd?
Have u ever been mad at me?
Wat reminds u of me?
Do u know me well?
Are you going to put this in ur blog to see what i say bout u?