1) The GAA player who played in front of 80,000 at the weekend will be teaching your children, selling you meat or fixing your drains on Monday morning. The soccer player who plays in front of 80,000 will be moaning about playing too many games and will be trying to sell you his personalised brand of leisure wear

2) GAA nicknames are better (The Bull, The Bomber, etc.) Soccer players just add a Y to their surnames

3) Dublin vs Meath is a real derby. What does Utd. Vs City mean to Ronaldo or Sibierski

4) How many soccer players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer eleven. One to stick it in and ten to surround and kiss him after he does it

5) Soccer players go to the papers after a game. GAA players go to the pub

6) John Terry would run a mile if he came up against Francie Bellew

7) GAA teams are numbered 1-15. A soccer team reads like the lottery results

All soccer players wear shin pads. Some hurlers wear helmets

9) Television runs soccer. Schoolteachers run the GAA

10) The GAA is about where you're from. Soccer is about who you like

11) No segregation at GAA games

12) No soccer team has a nickname quite as lovely as the Fighting Cocks of Carlow

13) Bubble perms never made it to Croke Park

14) A scoreless draw in the GAA would be quite a novelty

15) The GAA may not appreciate its women as much as it should but at least we all know who Cora Stanunton is. The most famous woman in English soccer is Posh Spice

16) Under age players get to be part of the biggest days in hurling and football at half-time in the All-Ireland.

17) Micheal O'Murchearaigh.

1 If a GAA player ever jumped at a spectator like Eric Cantona did the rest of his team would join in. So would the rest of the crowd.

19) Vinnie Jones grabbed Gascoignes testicles. Paudie O'Se decked Joe McNally during the National Anthem. McNally learnt his lesson. Gascoigne just got worse.

20) The GAA season always leaves you wanting more. The soccer season leaves soccer people demanding less. "Fewer games please"

21) Old soccer players get testimonials, Old GAA players just slip down to junior.

22) Rural villages = A Church, A Post-office, a Pub and a GAA pitch.

23) Pints after the match with the lad you knocked seven lumps of shite out of in the game.

24) Croke park on a Summer's Day