Emo Conversation!

XxSlavetoAnguishxX: omg my gf just left me
acidburnedsoul: that sux man
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: i blame myself only i'm such an ass *cries*
acidburnedsoul: dude come over to my house and we can cut ourselves together
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: okay *cries*
acidburnedsoul: omg dashboard confessional has a new cd, i preordered it already
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: dude they're my favorite band to self-mutilate to
acidburnedsoul: i prefer to cut myself while watching Napoleon Dynamite on my bigscreen
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: dude that movie is so deep. i cry every time i see it
acidburnedsoul: me too. i hate myself
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: yeah we're such tortured souls, nobody understands how hard life is for us
acidburnedsoul: yeah we got it tough dude. pass the tissues

The Difference between Emo And Goth:

Emos Hate themselves
Goths hate Everyone
Emos Want to Kill themselves
Goths Want to kill Everyone


The "Emo Cycle"

1. Girls say they like "sensitive guys" (lie)
2. Guy finds out, so he listens to faggy emo music and dresses like a dork so chicks will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black, wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how "nobody understands".
3. Now an emo guy, he meets Emo chick and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie)
4. Emo guy is just too much of a pussy. His penis is too small, he's too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than emo chick, and he doesn't even have a menstrual cycle. Emo chick dumps him, saying "It's not you, it's me." (lie) as she drives off with Wayne, the school jock and captain of the football team.
5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write a weak song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another emo chick sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and the cycle continues.


Fake/True Emos:

1. Fake emo: Oh my god, I saw how awesome emo's are on tv, so I have to be one

*two days later* *is wearing fully black clothes, make up, and is carrying a razor with them.*

Fake emo: My parents don't get me. Nobody gets me...

2. True emo: *is being hyper and dancing* I loooove life
*20 minutes later* God...I fucking hate this...dammit..

The story goes like this a couple from hong kong decided to go on a short trip to shen zhen china for shopping or what not. The husband needed to use the bathroom and fearing on being mugged he handed his wallet and mobile to his wife, the husband went to use a public toilet and the wife waited outside for him. A few minutes later two men dressed in cleaners clothes walked out of the men's toilet pushing a steel trolley and on top of the trolley was a large blue tub (the ones you see in fish markets), along with some cleaning equipment like mops and brooms, the wife thought nothing of it. Time passed and still no sight of her husband so she asked a man who was about to enter the men's room to go check on her husband the man entered and came out and told her that no one was there, now the men's room had only one exit so it was impossible for her husband to leave the toilet without her knowing. Panicked she called the local police and when they arrived they asked her one questions and that was "Did you see anyone leaving the toilet with a large blue barrel?" the wife answered yes then the police officer said " Alright please return to hong kong, we'll try to find your husband but we must warn you that the chances of finding him alive are slim". Now what happened to the husband you might ask, you might have guessed it by now, the blue barrel that left the area actually was containing the husband his fate being shipped to a hospital to have his organs removed and sold in the black market.

HOW CHINESE ARE YOU?

[ ] You like to eat chicken feet.
[ ] You sing karaoke.
[ ] You're worn glasses ever since you were in fifth grade.
[ ] Your dad thinks he can fix everything.
[ ] You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
[ ] You're a math genius.
[ ] You take showers at night.
[ ] You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
[ ] You twirl your pen around your fingers.
[ ] You say "aiyah" and "wah!" frequently.
[ ] You save grocery bags.
[ ] Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin before they are thrown away.
[ ] You have been taught that wasting food is a sin.
[ ] You like congee with thousand-year old eggs.
[ ] You have eaten moon cakes.
[ ] When your Chinese relatives calls, they ask you if you've eaten.
[ ] You beat eggs with chopsticks.
[ ] You email/msn your Chinese friends, even though you're only 10 ft apart.
[ ] You can read traditional chinese.
[ ] You know what pearl milk teas are.
[ ] You bring fruit with you as a gift when you visit people's homes.
[ ] You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
[ ] You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
[ ] Your parents argue with other adults over the dinner bill.
[ ] You love to use coupons.


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