Sunday morning, in the S-bend, you could see him arrive,
He was nine inches long and two inches wide,
Kind of broad in the center, narrow in the tip,
Bobbing in the bowl like a brown battleship,
Big Poo.

CHORUS

Big Poo...oo.
Big Bad Poo.
Big Poo...

He emerged from the bowels of Lady Jane,
With a fair bit of grunting' and a whole lot of pain.
He squeezed through her cheeks with fire and ash,
And into the bowl with one hell of a splash.
Big Poo.

CHORUS

Well, he started his life the day before,
As a nice, juicy beefsteak that was medium raw.
Alfalfa and vegetables hung him long,
And two hot cross buns made him awfully strong.
Big Poo.

CHORUS

Six glasses of wine lubricated his wake,
With some added propulsion from a chocolate cake,
And the big, lumpy midriff that bumped in the bowl,
Was the seed from a lichee she'd swallowed whole.
Big Poo.

CHORUS

It took fourteen flushes to send him away,
But the skid-marks he left clung on ten days.
This wasn't the end of his journey south,
He collected eight tampons and one dead mouse.
Big Poo.

CHORUS

This was Just the beginning of something' more,
There were curried prawns buried deep in his core,
They brewed that gas they run engines from,
And this floating log became an atom bomb!
Big Poo.

CHORUS

Well, he snuck through a valve at the treatment shed,
Where he lurked in the chemicals 'till they ate his head,
Then with a rush of gas and an almighty bang,
The whole plant went up, and the fat lady sang.
Big Poo.

CHORUS

Well, there wasn't a whole lot left of the site,
It was leveled to the ground by brown dynamite,
So they inscripted a plaque, and upon it was writ:
"At the bottom of this sewer, lies a big, mean shit...
...Big Poo."

CHORUS

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Whats your Sign?
Some of these are harsh, but man I know you will find some that suit people you know to the last, hehe, scary though.


ARIES:
You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. Your the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.


TAURUS:
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisesual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of poss.


GEMINI:
Your star sign denotes and air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real fucking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill themselves to win a bet.


CANCER:
You have a business like attitude t life and a knack for making money. You're and unscrupulous bastard who would sell relatives limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.


LEO:
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail an will never amount to anything. Most Leo's are living on the welfare.


VIRGO:
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. Buy you are prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.


LIBRA:
You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.


SCORPIO:
Your are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. however these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You always have snot on your clothes.


SAGITTARIUS:
You are the romantic type, soft-hearted and a lover of th arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive on incest.


CAPRICORN:
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an alter boy.


AQAURIUS:
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights


PISCES:
You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You are a prick.