1.thou shalt not bath but once a week on a saturday night using only carbonic soap.
2.thou shall anually run the tractor off the pit trampin sliage.
3.thou shall wear your ivomec pour-on fleece with pride.
4.thou shall drink only pints and or half ones.
5.thou shall only visit dublin once a year on the 8th of december to bring the wife shopping.
6.thou shall go to all ploughing matches and rallys.
7.thou shall have a son nicknamed bunglow cause hez nutin upstairs.
8.thou shall paint Cavan 4 sam on your round bales.
9.thou shall support your club at all matches while cursin them for being "pure shite" every chance you get.
10.thou shall emanulate miley from glenroe and thine wife shall emanulate biddy.
11.thou shall taste every barrell of molassess put on the silage.
12.thou shall always carry baler twine with you.
13.Riches mints or slivermints shall be thine sweet of choice.
14.thou shall think its great crack to ring pj when hes with "the bit of stuff" and roar down the phone.
15.thine sons and daughters shall play Gaa.
16.thou shall display a "sucking disel" sticker on your massey.
17.thou shall stand at the back of mass on sundays or even better in the hallway talking.
18.thou shall hate "dem bastard d tans".
19.thou shall always complain about"d kick i got of dat hurrrrrr of charlois calf from yan cowboy calf dealer".
20.thou shall always receive communion on the tonuge while licking the priests hand in the process.
21.thine favourite chat up lin shall be "howya fixed 4a bita how shes goin?" while winking

53 things Farmers love!!!!! 5 days ago

1 A nice bit of ham.
2 Buttered biscuits.
3 Diggin Holes.
4 Tayto Cheese & Onion
5 A stretch in the evenings
6 Lucozade
7 Accordians
8 A dinner dance
9 Gettin clattered in muck.
10 Hefers
11 Steel toe caps
12 A big bowl of carrots & parsnips.
13 Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car
14 The smell of fresh silage
15 Slice-Your-Own Loaf.
16 Work Clothes
17 A bottle of mineral.
18 Fightin'.
19 Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered
20 Wimen Tha resemble Hefers.
21 Saying "Aaah" after taking their first sup of tae.
22 Drink driving.
23 Red diesel
24 The Fear of Change.
25 A nice bit of Barnbrac
26 Lying.
27 Building walls.
28 Being starved with the cold rather than with a lack of food
29 Pretending to like mass
40 A good blackthorn walkin stick.
41 Machinery.
42 Strange uppy-downy walks.
43 A good f**kin read of Irelands Own.
44 Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.
45 Scandal, as long as its about other people.
46 Turf, because Sentirl heatin's for wimen
47 Sponge 'n Custirt
48 Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle.
49 Club Orange
50 rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner
51 Aetin' a big feed of spuds.
52 TK Red Lemonade
53 Good Short hair for boys and nice long hair for the wimen

Da Gaa
Soccer V GAA 194 days ago


1) The GAA player who played in front of 80,000 at the weekend will be
teaching your children, selling you meat or fixing your drains on Monday
morning. The soccer player who plays in front of 80,000 will be moaning
about playing too many games and will be trying to sell you his
personalised brand of leisure wear

2) GAA nicknames are better. Soccer players just add a Y to their surnames

3) Dublin vs Meath is a real derby. What does Utd. Vs City mean to
Ronaldo or Sibierski

4) How many soccer players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer
eleven. One to stick it in and ten to surround and kiss him after he does
it

5) Soccer players go to the papers after a game. GAA players go to the
pub

6) John Terry would run a mile if he came up against Francie Bellew

7) GAA teams are numbered 1-15. A soccer team reads like the lottery
results

All soccer players wear shin pads. Some hurlers wear helmets

9) Television runs soccer. Schoolteachers run the GAA

10) The GAA is about where you're from. Soccer is about who you like

11) No segregation at GAA games

12) No soccer team has a nickname quite as lovely as the Fighting Cocks of
Carlow

13) Bubble perms never made it to Croke Park

14) A scoreless draw in the GAA would be quite a novelty

15) Roman Abramovich can buy the League. You can't buy Sam!!