01 - Thou shalt drink only pints and/or "whiskey."
02 - Thou shalt always ate the skin of yer rasher.
03 - Thou shalt always stand at the back during mass, or even better, in the porch talking.
04 - Thine Wife shalt emulate Biddy from Glenroe.
05 - Thou shalt think Richie Kavanagh is fierce funny, and have all his records on your mantelpiece at home
06 - Thou shalt emulate Miley.
07 - Thou shalt pretend to know all about "The Headage."
08 - Thou shalt look after your tractor better than your car.
09 - Thou shalt have no "Revershing" lights or number plate on your trailers.
10 - Thou shalt display a "Travellin' to Flavin" sticker on the back window of all vehicles.
11 - Thou shalt wear your Ivomec Pour-On fleece with pride.
12 - Thou shalt not use but half-inch Wavin or "a good Sally Rod" for beatin cattle.
13 - Thine sons shall play GAA.
14 - Thine daaawwwthur shall marry the local centhur-forward.
15 - Thou shalt hold regular arguments with d'telly.
16 - Thou shalt reminisce the Fair Day, the Threshing, Kickin' Cabbages and the Corncrake.
17 - Thou shalt know a Mickeen Tomeen Joe and a Paddy Joe Paaaack from "the top of the parish."
18 - Thou shalt ate "Hang Sangwiches" and drink Cidona at all GAA matches.
19 - Thou shalt hate "Those Backstards the Tans."
20 - Thou shalt be edumacated by the Chrissshtian Brethers.
21 - Thou shalt pronounce 'Yellow' as 'Yella'.
22 - Thou shalt carry the A.I. Man's mobile number on you at all times.
23 - Thou shalt not visit Dublin [except to Croker and to bring the wife shoppin' on the 8th of December ].
24 - Thou shalt not fail to attend the Ploughing Championships and all Steam Rallies.
25 - Thou shalt always know how to reek turf bether than thine Neighbour.
26 - Thou shalt use balin' twine to hold up thine trousers.
27 - Thou shalt not ever visit the dentist.
28 - Thou shalt not miss an episode of "The Weather."
29 - Thou shalt have many many injuries from "that Hooooor of Charlois I got from that cowboy calf-dealer."
30 - Thou shalt wear cap crooked.
31 - Thou shalt love all Big John Wayne's fims, especially "The Quiet Man."
32 - Thine son shall be nicknamed "Bungalow," 'cos "he's got nothin' upstairs."
33 - Thou shalt shoot stray dogs.
34 - Thou shalt drown cats.
35 - Thou shalt think all Lesbians are from Lesbia.
36 - Thou shalt annually run the tractor off the end of the pit when tramping silage.
37 - Thou shalt taste all barrels of Molasses.
38 - Thou shalt think it's great craic to ring PJ and roar into the phone while he's with "the bit of stuff."
39 - Thine favourite chat-up line shalt be "Howya fixshed for a bit a howya goin' on ?" whilst winking like an epileptic.
40 - Thou shalt paint "Whatever County for Sam!" on all of your round bales.
41 - Thou shalt never leave the country.
42 - Thou shalt have a Heinz-57 mongrel of a dog which is for nothin' except terrorising the neighbour's sheep.
43 - Thou shalt only bathe on a sathurday niyat, using only carbolic soap
44 - Thou shalt "Suck Diesel."
45 - Thou shalt always support your county GAA team whilst curshing them for being "pure shite" at every given opportunity.
46 - Thine sweet of choice shall be either Ritchies After-Dinner Mints or Silvermints.
47 - Thou shalt only be aware of strippers of the bovine kind.
48 - Thou shalt refer to Soccer as "The Foreign Game."
49 - Thou shalt always sing to dirty line to "Alice."
50 - Thou shalt always receive Communion on the tongue, licking the priest's hand in the process

Roll, roll, roll ur joint
twist it at the end
light it up
and take a puff
then pass it to a freind