rite every1 listen her will ye im gna tell ya a story bout de man hu neva eva stoiopped eatin till the day he hey w8 hu de fuck is talkin dwn the back johnny ill b8 ya rite yea he neva stopped eatin till he died so he jus kept eatin chocolate nd every1 was afraid of him cos of de way he was all plump nd covered in brown stuff but den all of a sudden dis large bat came flyin in thru de window nd flew str8 into his mouth nd he started chokin like but he jus got sum chopcolate syrup nd swallowed the bat with it mmmmmmmmm chocolatey bat but when he went to he supermarket de get some more chocolate nd he ran into michael rite but he didnt kno dat michael was an undercover person for spiderman so he wrapped him all up nd den he hrd dis girl screamin so he wnt nd helped her find stuff t make her not die but den ur man was diein for sum chocolate so the hulk saved him nd gave him sum food really all them crazy guys jus robbed the supermarket nd den all de guys wi the cabbages came along nd started a cabbage fight but like most ppl already got hit by dat massive bus in the face so dey were all mutal8ed den ur man started eatin the chocolate dat was der t keep un hungry nd stuff but he exploded nd every1 got dirty so dey went nd get the washin stuff nd went t spar cos everythin under the tree at spar so dey all had t wash der clothes so den big will had to pause the playstation so i turned off the tv so i dno what ended up happnin after dat so i jus went for like a frappacino with my aunt helga nd talked about literature! bummer dude

1.what is ur name?.........
2.du u know me well?........
3.what du u think of me?.......
4.whould u go out wit me?.....
5.wud u meet me?.......
6.wud u fuck me?.........
5.wat did u frist think of me?.........
6.du u still think the same?........
7.describe me in 3 words!...........
8.if u had me alone for 30mins wat wud u du?........
9.are we good mates?......
10.wud u think of us as more dan mates?......
11.have we ever met?.........
12.if u could say anything 2 me wat wud it be?......
13.are u going to du dis on ur blog?......

Since Sunday evening the whole World has been debating what Italian defender Marco Materazzi said to Zinedine Zidane to make the retiring Frenchman react in the way he did. The French captain, in his last ever professional game, thrust his head into Materazzi's chest in Sunday's World Cup Final resulting in a red card and shame for Zidane. Today, with the help of Italian lip-reader Arturo Belladini, we can reveal what drove Zidane to self destruct;

Materazzi was seen to hold Zidane's shirt on the edge of the penalty box in extra-time at which point Zidane said

"if you want my shirt so bad you can have it"

Materazzi responded

"I dont want your shirt you m***** f*****. you're a f****** old man"

As they jog away Zidane is seen to laugh at this and it is unclear how he responded due to him having his back to the TV camera

Materazzi then hit a volley of abuse

"you should've quit 2 years ago, you're a f****** has-been"

"m***** f*****! your mum is a f****** muslim terrorist and you are to,
f*** you old man f*** you"

"old man, this arena is not for you anymore m***** f*****"

Zidane carries on jogging away



"you are only good enough for Moyle Rovers now"

It's at this very point Zidane turned and head-butted him.