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Dan: "Fob fob fob."

Davy: "Aaigh!"

Dan+Davy: "OH, the grand ol duke of fob fob fob, he had ten thousand aaigh!"

Dan: "Booty!"

Davy: "Meh."

Dan and I are playing shock defence. The enemies are called space ships.
Dan: "How are they spaceships, they're fuckin' fish!

School::

The whole assembly area: "Aaaaaaaah!"
*5-second silence*
Davy:"YEEEEEAAAAHH!"
(If you don't get it, go watch Little Miss Sunshine)

Dan: Leaning back on chair and moving mouth bizzarely.


Dan: Kevin, put the shoe down *plonks shoe on desk*

In Business::

Dan: (Gesticulating towards homework with a big red X through it) "Is that wrong?"
Davy: (Sarcastically) No.

Dan: That's very random. Like a tit in a pile of bananas. (Hilarity ensues)

Dan (singing): I'm dreamin, of a whiiite Christmas...
Mrs.Bolger: Daniel, will you stop that please!
Dan: Right you are, Miss
(5-second silence)
Dan: Just like the ones we used to know...
Mrs.Bolger: I don't know what thats about, really.
Davy: It's about a white christmas, Miss

First year::

We have a free class with Pat Short. (Or at least a teacher that looks like him)

Sean is looking through a games magazine. He is reading a page next to an ad for sexy phone wallpapers. Pat sees it, and takes it off him

Dan: Is that dirty women Sir!?
(Pat gives him a look)
Dan: Ah, could be worse, could be dirty men!
(Pat goes to bin, and begins ripping up the magazine)
Dan: BEhold the BEAST!

(Pat had to repay Sean for the magazine XD)
This year, there was a rumour that Pat was gay... =/

COW ECONOMY

How differnt economies/corporations etc work, im the form of COWS. Read through
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows because your sobering up and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.


A CHINA CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers.

WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

25 THINGS GARUANTEED TO MAKE YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU'RE CRAZY

1.Follow them everywhere.
2.Moo when they say your name.
3.Pretend to have amnesia
4.Run around with a lampshade on your head yelling , "The sun, it's dying!"
5.Run into walls
6.Have nervous breakdowns at spontaneous times .
7.Stand over them at 4 in the morning with a huge grin on your face and yell "Good morning, sunshine
8.Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder !
9.Run in circles.
10.Pluck out someone's hair and yell " DNA " !!!
11.Wear a s