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Informacje o pracy

Pracodawca:

Bambach Wires and Cables

Stanowisko:

Shift Supervisor

Okres:

stycznia, 2001 - grudnia, 2008

Miasto:

Sydney, Brookvale

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• Two guys in Foodtown

  Two guys, one old timer and one young, are pushing their carts around Foodtown when they collide.
  
  The old timer says to the young guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my
  wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.
  
  'The young guy says, 'That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my
  wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.'
  
  The old guy says, 'Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife
  look like?'
  
  The young guy says, 'Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, big
  blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts and a
  halter top with no bra.
  
  'What does your wife look like?'
  
  The old timer says...... 'Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours.'
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  1 komentarz 296 dni

• Female day vs Male day

  The Perfect day for Her....
  
  8:15- Wake up to hugs and kisses
  8:30- Weigh in 2 kgs lighter than yesterday
  8:45- Breakfast in bed-freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants, poen presents, expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner.
  9:15- Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
  10:00- Light work out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer
  10:30- Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave
  12:00- Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
  12:45- Catch sight of partner's ex and notice that she has gained 17kgs
  1:00- Shopping with friends: unlimited credit
  3:00- Nap
  4:00- Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
  4:15- Massage from strong but gentle hunk- says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
  5:30- Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe
  7:30- Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers
  10:00- Hot shower - alone
  10:50- Carried to bed....freshly ironed, crisp, white linen
  11:00- Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
  11:15- Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.
  
  The Perfect day for Him....
  
  6:00- Alarm
  6:15- Blow job
  6:30- Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
  7:00- Breakfast-steak and eggs, coffee and toast- all cooked by naked buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler.
  7:30- Limo arrives
  7:45- Several beers en route to the airport
  9:15- Flight in personal Lear jet
  9:30- Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
  9:45- Play front nine (2 under par)
  11:45- Lunch- steak and lobster, 3beers and bottle of Dom Perignon
  12:15- Blow job
  12:30- Play back nine (4 under par)
  2:15- Limo back to airport (several boubons)
  2:30- Fly to Bahamas
  3:30- Late afternoon fishing expedition with all female crew,all nude who also bend over a lot showing their growlers
  4:30- Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)- on light tackle
  5:00- Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Rhianna(bending over showing off her grower, naturally)
  6:45- Shit, shower and shave
  7:00- Watch news- Michael Jackson assassinated
  7:30- Dinner-lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits
  9:00- Napoleon Brandy and Habanos and cigars infront of wall- sized TV, watching the end of the world cup final- All Blacks beat the Aussies,100-nil
  9:30- Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendecies
  11:00- Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
  11:30- Night cap blow job
  11:45- In bed alone
  11:50- A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
  11:51- Laugh yourself to sleep

  2 komentarze 303 dni

• Swearing at Work

  Dear Employees:
  
  It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues.
  
  Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
  
  We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.
  
  Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner .
  
  
  1. Try Saying: I think you could do with more training
  Instead Of: You don't have a f***ing clue, do you?
  
  2. Try Saying: She's an aggressive go-getter.
  Instead Of: She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch
  
  3. Try Saying: Perhaps I can work late
  Instead Of: And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?
  
  4. Try Saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible
  Instead Of: F*** off a*se-hole
  
  5. Try Saying: Really?
  Instead Of: Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole
  
  6. Try Saying: Perhaps you should check with...
  Instead Of: Tell someone who gives a f***.
  
  7. Try Saying: I wasn't involved in the project.
  Instead Of: Not my f***ing problem, mate.
  
  8. Try Saying: That's interesting.
  Instead Of: What the f***?
  
  9. Try Saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.
  Instead Of: No f***ing chance mate.
  
  10. Try Saying: It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in
  Instead Of:Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday?
  
  11. Try Saying: He's not familiar with the issues
  Instead Of: He's got his head up his f***ing a*se.
  
  12. Try Saying: Excuse me, sir?
  Instead Of: Oi, f*** face.
  
  13. Try Saying: Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway
  Instead Of: Yeah, who needs a f***ing holidays anyway.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  1 komentarz 309 dni