Roy Keane rents videos and never rewinds them, ever.

When Roy Keane was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "Roy Keane".

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Roy Keane spared your life.

Roy Keane won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance
Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

Every day is the longest day of Roy Keane's life. For terrorists, the shortest.

What colour is Roy Keane's blood? Trick question. Roy Keane does not bleed.

Roy Keane once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

When Roy stares into the sun, the sun flinches.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Roy Keane says its beef. Then it's beef.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Roy Keane does not feel like carrying you.

James Bond has a license to kill. Roy Keane don't need any licenses.

Roy Keane' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Roy Keane.

Roy Keane once double teamed a girl.. by himself.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Roy Keane. Sounds like a fair fight.

Roy Keane was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Roy Keane.

When the kids born in the twenty first century grow up they will not have heroes, but rather Roy Keane. Roy Keane is the only hero.

Roy Keane played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

When life gave Roy Keane lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Roy Keane hates lemonade.

Roy Keane doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

Roy Keane once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

You can lead a horse to water. Roy Keane can make him drink.

Roy Keane once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Roy Keane once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

When Roy Keane masturbates, all women within 3 miles have orgasms.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Roy Keane jumps out.

Simon Says should be renamed to Roy Keane Says because if Roy Keane says something then you better do it.

Killing Roy Keane doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

Roy Keane would vote for Hillary Clinton to be president just so he could assassinate her.

Roy Keane does the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle in ink.

When Google can't find something, it asks Roy Keane for help.

In 96 hours, Roy Keane has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times.

What have you done with your life?

There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Roy Keane way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

Why did the terrorist cross the street? To get hit by a car before Roy Keane could get him.

When Roy Keane watches a pot, it boils immediately.

Roy Keane once killed a group of Samurai Warriors with only a ball point pen. This lead to the phrase "The pen is mightier than the sword."

In kindergarten, Roy Keane killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

It would only take 1 bullet for Roy Keane to kill 50 Cent.

Roy Keane has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Roy Keane.

Roy Keane can assemble the entire contents of an IKEA store without instructions or an alan key.

Scissors are scared to run with Roy Keane.

Roy Keane got Hellen Keller to talk

Toya308 said...............


Dats a nasty muthfucka only a white muthafucka would do sum shit like dat. U nasty muthafuck'n bitch what would make sumbody do sum nasty shit like dat. I hope yo dick n yo asshole fall da fuck out. Dat shit give all men a bad name. Dat muthafucka gay as hell any man put sum shit n his ass is considered a fuck'n fag.

How old will you be in 15 months?
17 and 5 months

Who was the last person who texted you?
carol....

what is your current status ?
Single......

What are your plans for tomorrow?
Sweet fuck all on mid term....

Who is the last person you had a face to face conversation with?
dad

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Kinda

Was yesterday better than today?
no

What did your last text message say?
it was one of thise long annoying chain mail yokes

Do you prefer to call or text?
text

What's the nearest green object to you?
my hoody

What were you doing at 12 am last night?
sleeping

When is the last time you saw your mum?
30 seconds ago.....

Have you kissed someone in the last 4 week?
yup

What are you doing for your next birthday?
Too far away to start thinking about

What is your favorite color?
red and white

What are you thinking about right now?
This yoke

Any plans for this weekend?
Ammmmm hurling match and soccer

Do you have anything bothering you?
yeah! I have major issues

Do you smile often?
Era i do enough anyway

When was the last time you cried?
easter

Have you ever had a life threatening injury?
I was supposed to have had a life threatening disease (not aids) when i was young but it turned out to be something else.....?

Do you prefer an ocean or pool?
ocean

Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
watch

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
na

Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
nahhhh

How often do you remember your dreams?
Morning

What is something that you do too much?
day dream

Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth?
Couldnt be bothered