If you’re like me, then a war is waged every morning near your alarm clock. It is a neverending series of epic clashes between The Awake You and The Sleeping You, with each side sticking to its guns, fighting fiercely in the ultimate battle for the first half hour of your day.

Sometimes it seems like if it were up to our subconscious selves, a lot of us would be lazing around in a world of rumpled sheets and dreams all day. You know how it is — maybe at night you’re a level-headed gal with a level-headed plan. “I’ll go for a quick jog tomorrow before work,” you say to yourself. “Maybe whip up some oatmeal afterwards.” But your groggy, bedheaded self just ruins everything the next day. “Let’s keep sleeping,” she convincingly suggests when the alarm goes off, hitting the snooze button on your behalf. “See you in nine!”

I don’t know about you, but for me until recently I’ve been trying to deceive the sleeping me with the only two weapons I’ve got: 1) moving the alarm clock to other side of the room in order to give my waking self time to figure out what’s happening, and 2) setting the time further and further ahead to try and trick my heavy-eyelided other half into believing they’re gonna make me really late.

But after years of playing the same game, it eventually happened. I hit a breaking point. I just couldn’t do it anymore. So now my new gig is trying to keep everybody happy. That’s right, keep snoozing in the picture and hold down a job at the same time. Folks, I’m talking about planning for snoozes. Adding them to the list. Budgeting them right in there. Finally giving them the credibility they’ve so long aspired to and letting them become an official Part Of The Day.

So now I say hey, if you absolutely must get out of bed by 8am, that’s fine. Just set the alarm clock for 7:30 first. Throw your sleeping self a bone and hook them up with three solid snoozes. And you know what, you win too! Those nine extra minutes sometimes feel like an hour, complete with vivid dreams and fresh drool on the pillow to show for it. You wake up refreshed, happy, and smiling. And the best part comes later in the day, whenever somebody asks how you slept — because you know what to tell them:

AWESOME!

Anton Chigurh: What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss.
Gas Station Proprietor: Sir?
Anton Chigurh: The most. You ever lost. On a coin toss.
Gas Station Proprietor: I don't know. I couldn't say.
[Chigurh flips a quarter from the change on the counter and covers it with his hand]
Anton Chigurh: Call it.
Gas Station Proprietor: Call it?
Anton Chigurh: Yes.
Gas Station Proprietor: For what?
Anton Chigurh: Just call it.
Gas Station Proprietor: Well, we need to know what we're calling it for here.
Anton Chigurh: You need to call it. I can't call it for you. It wouldn't be fair.
Gas Station Proprietor: I didn't put nothin' up.
Anton Chigurh: Yes, you did. You've been putting it up your whole life you just didn't know it. You know what date is on this coin?
Gas Station Proprietor: No.
Anton Chigurh: 1958. It's been traveling twenty-two years to get here. And now it's here. And it's either heads or tails. And you have to say. Call it.
Gas Station Proprietor: Look, I need to know what I stand to win.
Anton Chigurh: Everything.
Gas Station Proprietor: How's that?
Anton Chigurh: You stand to win everything. Call it.
Gas Station Proprietor: Alright. Heads then.
[Chigurh removes his hand, revealing the coin is indeed heads]
Anton Chigurh: Well done.
[the gas station proprietor nervously takes the quarter with the small pile of change he's apparently won while Chigurh starts out]
Anton Chigurh: Don't put it in your pocket, sir. Don't put it in your pocket. It's your lucky quarter.
Gas Station Proprietor: Where do you want me to put it?
Anton Chigurh: Anywhere not in your pocket. Where it'll get mixed in with the others and become just a coin. Which it is.
[Chigurh leaves and the gas station proprietor stares at him as he walks out]

Q: HAVE YOU EVER KISSED ANYONE IN YOUR TOP 16?:
A. why yes, yes i have.

Q. WHATS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT NUMBER 13?
A. never fails to bring up the finger story when we meet new people. every time robert.

Q: WHAT'S THE BEST MEMORY YOU HAVE OF 9?
A. that would assume i have any. oooh, the flying slap given to the back of gers head, thats gone down in history!

Q: WHEN'S THE NEXT TIME YOUR GONA SEE 4?
A: friday maybe, possibly, perhaps

Q: IS NUMBER 7 PRETTY?
A: paul does have his moments...

Q: WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION OF 8?
A. considering that would have been in first year when i hated everyone, im gonna have to go with ridiculous bowl haircut.

Q. WHAT DO YOU LIKE THE MOST ABOUT NUMBER 14?
A. Seana is a sexy sexy bitch, with possibly the greatest female name of all. and she does good costumes!

Q: HOW DID U MEET 3?
A: i want to say house party but i really dont know. probably licked her at some stage anyway

Q: DO YOU THINK 12 WOULD KILL SOMEONE?
A. definately, ger.

Q: IS 11 YOUR BEST FRIEND?
A: conor???? are u fricking joking????

Q. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN NUMBER 4?
A. that club, i cant remember the name, its almost as if it had no name.

Q: HAVE YOU SEEN 2 NAKED?
A. im gonna have to say no coz a yes would lead to lawsuits and restraining orders and accusations of peeping tom-foolery!

Q: DO YOU THINK 5 HAS A CRUSH ON YOU?
A: of course she does, how 'ironic' she started working in dennehys right after i started in paddy powers... i have nothinh to back that claim up however,

Q: WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU DID WITH 8?
A: lost my bollocks at poker with him. in the same hand no less.

Q. IF YOU COULD GIVE ANYTHING TO NUMBER 15 WHAT WOULD IT BE?
A. The ultimate masters degree of ultimate magic greatness. i feel she desrves it.

Q. WOULD NUMBER 2 AND 16 MAKE A GOOD COUPLE?
A. fenton and ezara eh? well thats me set for the night, the answer is yes!

Q. IF NUMBER 11 WAS A CRAYON WHAT COLOYR WOULD HE/SHE BE?
A. pink. as the day is long. as christmas.

Q: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO 3'S HOUSE?
A: once, during our ill fated attempt to video a big hello dvd for a certain american.

Q: HAVE YOU EVER SLEPT IN THE SAME BED AS 10?
A: almost, so very close.

Q: WHENS THE NEXT TIME YOU WILL SEE 6?
A: january baby! oh yeah.

Q: ARE YOU REAL CLOSE TO 16?
A: how could we not be close after woke her up by kicking her in the stomach and she still talks to me!

Q: HAVE YOU EVER KISSED 1?
A: i think so, i was very drunk. for 2 weeks. and then 3 months.

Q: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO THE MOVIES WITH 8?
A: team america maybe??

Q. WHATS NUMBER 1'S HOUSE LIKE?
A. like an irish house, but with more americans and a better fridge. im guessing.

Q: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ANGRY WITH 12?
A: i do remember kicking in the shin at PE in 2nd year...

Q: WOULD YOU EVER MAKE A MOVE ON NUMBER 15
A: absolutely, right after i sign my death warrent and give it to james!

Q: WHAT DO YOU AND 4 TALK ABOUT THE MOST?
A: minge mostly, or possibly amber. strange how those 2 would come up in the same answer...

Q: DO YOU EVER TALK TO 9?
A: ususally it begins and ends with him shouting kendo

Q: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF NUMBER 3?
A: princess leia in a gold bikini, princess leia in a gold bikini... and oh the constant licking.

Q: IF U COULD GIVE 2 ANYTHIN WAT WUD IT BE?
A: hmmm, perhaps a new bicycle. no? steak sandwich? how about a promise to not mention ur dad (john fenton if u dont know) every time we converse??

Q: HAVE U BEEN ABROAD WIT 1
A: tricky one. when i was abroad she wasnt, and when she was i wasnt. so it could go either way...

Q: WEN WAS THE LAST TIME U TALKED TO 4?
A: why does 4 get all the attention?! that day in cork, in insomnia. i thibk, or was in murphs. it wasnt recent anyway. i think...

Q: HOW WELL DO U KNOW 5??
A: too well u could say, or perhaps not well enough... deep or what! ill go with quite well, bordering on very well, ive just never seen her