"The BEST Chat Up Lines Ever"-Quoted by a man of course!!!


• I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

• (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

• Nice legs...what time do they open?

• Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

• You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

• Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

• I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

• I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

• I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

• Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

• I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

• Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

• I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

• Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway the heaven?

• You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

• Are those real?

• You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

• I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

• If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

• I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

• You know if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

• You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

• F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?

• Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

• My name is (name)... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

• Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

• Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

• My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute. "

• Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

• My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

• I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

• I've lost my phone number, can I have yours?

• If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

• Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?

• Baby, I'm an American Express lover... you shouldn't go home without me.

• Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

• Do you wash your pants in Windex because I can see myself in them.

• Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

• Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

• My Love for you is like diarrohea ... I can't hold it in.

• Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

• If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

• You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light
switch away.

• Man - Fat Penguin !
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

• I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

• Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

• If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the
afternoon.

the best for last!
Your face reminds me of a spanner, every time I think of it my nuts
tighten up!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won\\\'t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

The impossible is nothing.

TEST 1:
This test is weird. Test yourself, but remember - The most important thing
is to follow the instructions very carefully and not to scroll down too fast.
Now, count the following easy calculations in your head as quickly as
you can. It might help you if you say the answers aloud.
Follow the instructions one at a time and as fast as possible.



How much is:













2 + 2?













8 + 8?













16 + 16?













Fast! Think of a number between 12 and 5.













Ready? Don't change your original number!













Scroll down!

















The number you chose was 7.


Strange, right?!?

TEST 2:
How much is:

1 + 5?













3 + 3?














4 + 2?














5 + 1?














Repeat the number 6 in your head as fast as possible
for 15 seconds.














FAST!!! THINK OF A VEGETABLE!














Think, think...














You were thinking about a CARROT, weren't you!?!
Really weird, right!?!?!