I met her in a snowstorm
I was outdoors plowing
She just walked up to me and said
'Hey boy, how's it going?'

I admired her straight-forwardness
and brushed away my fringe
as a signal of well-being
and accepting her challenge

We went home to her place
and cooked up some chili
Warmed us from the inside
'cause the outside was chilly

We had to be quiet
to not wake up her family
but I made a high pitched sound
when her cold fingers touched me

She said "shhh
please be quiet
I know you don't want to
but please deny it"

She said "shhh
please be quiet
I know you don't want to
but please deny it"

When people think of Sweden
I think they have the wrong idea
like Cliff Richards who thought it was just
porn and gonorrhea

And Lou Reed said in the film
"Blue in the face"
that compared to New York City
Sweden was a scary place

They seem to have a point
after meeting with this girl
maybe not Cliff Richards
but Lou has surely met her

The doubt in her eyes
when I said I wanted to kiss her
for the sake of liking her
and not because of the blizzard

She said "shhh
please be quiet
I know you don't want to
but please deny it"

She said "shhh
please be quiet
I know you don't want me
but please deny it"

'Cause the cold Swedish winter
is right outside
and I just want somebody
to hold me through the night

The cold Swedish winter
is right outside
and I just want somebody
to hold me through the night

In two thousand years
this place will be covered by ice
and the people who will dig us up
will be in for a big surprise

After carefully studying
our calcium-nourished bones
they'll find enclosed
our hearts of stone

Singing the cold Swedish winter
is right outside
and I just want somebody
to hold me through the night

The cold Swedish winter
is right outside
and I just want somebody
to hold me through the night

I was in a line at the supermarket the other day, and uhm... y'know, I had all my things on the little conveyor belt there. And uh... there's a gal in front of me that is uh.. well, she's staring at me and I'm getting a little nervous and uh, she continues to stare at me. And I uh, I keep looking the other way. And then, finally she comes over closer to me and she says: "I apologise for staring, that must have been annoying. I, I... You look so much like my son, who died. I just can't take my eyes off you." And she precedes to go into her purse and she pulls out a photograph of her son who'd died. And uh, he looks absolutely nothing like me. In fact he's... Chinese. Uh... anyway, we chatted a little bit. And uh, she says: "I'm sorry, I have to ask you. Would you mind, as I leave the supermarket here, would you mind saying "Goodbye mom" to me? I, I know it's a strange request but I haven't heard my son saying "Goodbye mom" to me, and "So long" and it would mean so much to me to hear it. And uh, if you don't mind I... " And I said: "Well, you know, okay, yeah, sure. Eh.. uh... I can say that." And, and so, she uh gets her groceries all checked out. And uh, as she's going out the door she waves at me and she hollers across the store: "Goodbye son!" And I look up and I wave and I say: "Goodbye mom!" And then she goes, and uh... So I get my few things there, on the conveyor belt and the checker checks out my things. And uh, and he gives me the total and he says: "That'll be four hundred and seventy nine dollars." Uh... and I said: "Well, how is that possible! I've only got a little tuna fish, and uh some skimmed milk, and uh mustard and a loaf of bread..." He goes: "Well, well you're also paying for the groceries for your mother. She uh, told me you'd take care of the bill for her." And I said: "Well, wait a minute! That's not my mother!" And he says: "Well I distinctly heard her say as she left the store "Bye son!" and you said "Bye mom!" and so what are you trying to say here, uh..." I said: "Well, JESUS!" And I looked out into the parking lot and she was just getting into her car. And I ran out there. And she was just closing the door, and she had a little bit of her leg sticking out of the door and she was pulling away and I grabbed her leg and I started PULLING it! Just the way... I'm pulling yours...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Zmqb...

Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon did
Got what I paid for now
See ya tomorrow, hey Frank can I borrow
A couple of bucks from you?
To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

I'm an innocent victim of a blinded alley
And tired of all these soldiers here
No one speaks English and everything's broken
And my Stacys are soaking wet
To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

Now the dogs are barking and the taxi cab's parking
A lot they can do for me
I begged you to stab me, you tore my shirt open
And I'm down on my knees tonight
Old Bushmill's I staggered, you buried the dagger
Your silhouette window light
To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

Now I lost my Saint Christopher now that I've kissed her
And the one-armed bandit knows
And the maverick Chinaman and the cold-blooded signs
And the girls down by the strip-tease shows
Go, waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

No, I don't want your sympathy
The fugitives say that the streets aren't for dreaming now
Manslaughter dragnets and the ghosts that sell memories
They want a piece of the action anyhow
Go, waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

And you can ask any sailor and the keys from the jailor
And the old men in wheelchairs know
That Matilda's the defendant, she killed about a hundred
And she follows wherever you may go
Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

And it's a battered old suitcase to a hotel someplace
And a wound that will never heal
No prima donna, the perfume is on
An old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey
And goodnight to the street sweepers
The night watchman flame keepers and goodnight to Matilda too