Choose Roundabouts.
Choose Drug abuse.
Choose not to have a career.
Choose unemployment.
Choose no traffic Lights.
Choose a fucking big television you bought for £20 off some junkie in the Swan Inn.
Choose shite shops and officially the worst Town Centre in Britian.
Choose Travel Agents, Opticians, Estate Agents and Hairdressers.
Choose Pound shops. Choose lots of fucking pound shops.
Choose the Antonine centre.
Choose from the four shops currently in the Antonine Centre.
Choose from the Travel Agents, Opticians, Estate Agents, Hairdressers and fucking poundshops that will soon occupy the Antonine centre.
Choose Fopp... Or rather don't choose Fopp as they went bust within a week of opening up in the Antonine Centre.
Choose Costa Coffee.
Choose to sip on a cappuccino with Carbrain's finest neds, junkies and single mothers.
Choose to spend your Saturday afternoons watching mind numbing, spirit crushing football('Mon the Bully Wee!).
Choose underage drinking.
Choose Tennants Super.
Choose to join a gang whose initials end in 'YT'.
Choose Buckfast.
Choose street crime.
Choose Court Round up.
Choose the only town in Scotland not to have a theme pub or cinema complex.
Choose The Basement.
Choose to believe that it really is 'The City Centre Venue in Cumbernauld'.
Choose Papa Doc's.
Choose a burst mooth.
Choose to wake up on a Sunday morning wondering why the fuck you're still living here.
Choose Sax.
Choose to have an ice rink that's been shut for 10 years.
Choose Lecky White.
Choose to have a ten pin bowling alley that's been shut for 10 years.
Choose fucking Bingo.
Choose to vote in a council who build McDonalds, Burger
King, Pizza Hut and KFC in the hope the population slowly kill
themselves through heart disease...


CHOOSE CUMBERNAULD

Glasgow Banter..See If you Understand it!!
>
> Ye know yer a Glaswegian if...
>
>1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie ;-), Ecclefechan, Milngavie,
>Sauchiehall, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.
>
>2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.
>
>3. Ye get four seasons in wan day.
>
>4. Ye canny pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.
>
>5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
>
>6. Ye see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories, pure
>class!
>
>7. Ye measure distance in minutes.
>
>8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him,
>in yer ain family.
>
>9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.
>
>10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
>
>11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.
>
>12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day
>date.
>
>13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the
>Church/Chapel.
>
>14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,
>irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
>
>15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
>
>16. A big flash car has a ned at the wheel.
>
>17. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.
>
>18. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.
>
>19. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .
>
>20. Finally, you are 100% Glaswegian if you have ever said/heard these
>words...
>
> how's it hingin
> yourgonnaegetyerfikinheidkiktin
> clatty
> boggin
> cludgie
> p!shed
> get it up ye
> wee beasties
> ar$e bandit
> amurny
> away an bile yer heid
> peely-wally
> humphey backit
> Ba'-heid
> baw bag
> dubble nuggit