1) You think whoever came up with jurisprudence as a required subject should have his face set on fire and then beaten out with a rake, and then some….

2) You consider dropping out of law approximately every hour, but after that first semester you realized you were already too twisted/cynical to be anything other than a lawyer

3) You're pretty sure the reasonable man is a friendless tool who still lives with his mother

4) You can name, without hesitation, at least three people who make you want to throw things when you see them raise their hands in class

5) You hear about the death of an elderly friend or relative and wonder if they died intestate..

6) You can’t remember if you decided to study law because you wanted to help people and make a difference in the world or because you hate yourself

7) You are truly and deeply unnerved by the thought of some of your classmates becoming solicitors.

You have been asked for legal advice by people who foolishly assume that subjects stay in your head after the invigilator collects your exam paper

9) You realized after the first semester that “reading a case” need only consist of looking up the summary on Lexis or Westlaw

10) You wish Mrs Donoghue had swallowed that f*****g snail and saved us all the headache

11) You refer to well-known judges as if they were old friends

12) You have experienced uncontrollable waves of anger at people relaxing in the sunshine

13) You have passed all of your previous exams but still believe that "this time, I'm definitely f****d"

14) You’re ready to strangle the next friend or relative to say jokingly "good thing you’re studying law I may need your help one day”

15) You have considered naming your future children A, B and C to simplify conveyances of property...

16) When someone is expressing their frustration or anger about something that is in any way related to the law, you can’t be sympathetic because you’re too busy figuring out in your head if they have a cause of action.

17) You never answer a question without saying "well, that depends on the specific facts of the case..."

1 You have considered changing career paths to hot dog vendor, stilt walker, or career alcoholic

1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder
and then pretend it wasn't you.

2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go
back for more.

3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while,let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream,that's mine!"

7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator

8. Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they hear something ticking.

11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.


12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

15. Swat at flies that don't exist.

16. Tell people that you can see their aura

17. Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.

18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror,
"You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"

27. Fart loudly then exclaim "Not I said the wolf"

28. Jump up and down then look at the floor and shout " let go you bastard "

29. Before the elevator door opens shout "DING" and then laugh and say "beat you again Mr Elevator."

30. Hire a labrador, wear sunglasses and repeatedly walk into the walls whilst pretending to not hear the other passenger's direction