So picture the scene. A typical teenage bedroom. Check. One messy drawer. Check. Looking for nail varnish/pen/anything. Check. And what does this typical teenage girl find in this typical messy drawer? Why only the best hidden collection of quotes that have passed me by! (Perhaps a slight exaggeration, my original quotes awards were quite fantastic.) I have also sourced some others from caroline's bebo and also from my own memory (a bit hazy at times, so forgive me for the loss of names). Quotes are needed back on my bebo page and there they are. so sit back, relax and tickle yourself silly with a hidden collection of (Midget) Gems. Midget, yes. They are small, but mighty.

1. "There's someone in Muchty called Spike." Kirsten
"What, not a dog?" Victoria

2. "Will there be a female pope?"
"What, like a pope-ette?"

3. "Some folk have really dark hair and need to shave their pits a lot..." *Hands razor to elaine*

4. "Muh bird's in labour.." Random ned in Dunfermilne, using this as an excuse to skip a queue full of guides in a sweet shop so he could buy his Irn Bru for the bus to the maternity hospital...

5. "I feel like a sausage roll." Caroline
"Well you certainly dont look like one!" Victoria

6. *gasp* "where's my empire biscuit?!" *victoria produces biscuit from plate she is holding* "I nearly had a heart attack, I thought someone had eaten it!!" Slight overreaction by Mum.

7. "Whats this, Blackpool?!" Hannah's granny

8. "Have you got a girlfriend?" Hannah
"No." Terry
"Tough, i have a boyfriend." *hangs up* Hannah

9. "That Amy Winehouse. She reminds me of wine. You know, Wine..House..." Hannah

10. "Why dont they just hold Wimbeldon at Wembly?" Hannah
"Er, cos its a football stadium.." Caroline, Victoria
"Oh.." Hannah

11. "He's such a ba.." Hannah
"Baguette?" Victoria
"No, a bad egg." Hannah

12. "Did you just say I'm not straight?"
"As in your legs"

13. "I know you. Your in the schoo play. My brother's in it. He has to idol you." Random first year

14. "Has that made it easier?" Mrs Frenguelli
"No."
"Well you did ask." Neil

15. "Bill, why do you have a calculator?" Mrs Frenguelli
"I was going to write a dirty word.." Bill

16. "That's not art, thats minging!" Erin

17. "Say you had to go to an emergancy bar mitzvah.."

18. "It was awful, it was terrible, but it was funny because two gingers got beaten up." Random fourth year

19. "How that man hasnt exploded from his own ego is beyond me." Kirsty

20. "Has it been brushed?!" Hannah

21. *9am*
"Shall i phone the Flexi?" Victoria
"Urgh." Hannah and Georgia

22. "Hawoah, Howar Yhoo? Ahm Gwed!!"

23. "Why do you have a picture of a donkey on your wall?" Lisa
"Thats MR HORSE!!" Georgia

24. "who cares,if i was going out with someone.....i would fart!" Hannah

25. "If your not taking things seriosly don't take them at all" Hannah

26 "don't poke about my scrap-paper" Victoria

27. "ewwwwwww its that fat guy" Hannah

28"i take ribena showers in the carribbean" Daniel

29"can i ride you horse with you" daniel
"no there isnt enough room on the saddle" Eleanor

30"Caroline can we play bogies?" Daniel

31. "i did a finger painting of a rabbit" Hannah
"IS THAT WITH UR FINGER?" Victoria

32"Are there any soft drinks?!" Vic

33"If you were guys i would go out with you" Lee

34" Ah should work at Butlins" ferbes
in reply " No way, you'd make people kill themselves!" Vic

35" Did you have that WHOLE bottle of WKD to yourself?" Mummy Ferbes

36. "Why are you going into the disabled toilet?" Cazz
" Cos 've got a big arse!" Replies daniel

37" Do you think his sister's called Original?" Vic
" No it's Alison.." Lisa
" No original pringle..." Vic
Lisa is hysterically laughing!!
I think you had to be there to find this funny. And totally pissed

38Have you pulled anyone yet?" Cazz
" yeah i

From 'Revolting Rhymes' By Roald Dahl



The animal I really dig,
Above all others is the pig.
Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever,
Pigs are courteous. However,
Now and then, to break this rule,
One meets a pig who is a fool.
What, for example, would you say,
If strolling through the woods one day,
Right there in front of you you saw
A pig who'd built his house of STRAW?
The Wolf who saw it licked his lips,
And said, "That pig has had his chips."
"Little pig, little pig, let me come in!"
"No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!"
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!"

The little pig began to pray,
But Wolfie blew his house away.
He shouted, "Bacon, pork and ham!
Oh, what a lucky Wolf I am!"
And though he ate the pig quite fast,
He carefully kept the tail till last.
Wolf wandered on, a trifle bloated.
Surprise, surprise, for soon he noted
Another little house for pigs,
And this one had been built of TWIGS!

"Little pig, little pig, let me come in!"
"No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!"
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!"

The Wolf said, "Okay, here we go!"
He then began to blow and blow.
The little pig began to squeal.
He cried, "Oh Wolf, you've had one meal!
Why can't we talk and make a deal?
The Wolf replied, "Not on your nelly!"
And soon the pig was in his belly.

"Two juicy little pigs!" Wolf cried,
"But still I'm not quite satisfied!
I know how full my tummy's bulging,
But oh, how I adore indulging."
So creeping quietly as a mouse,
The Wolf approached another house,
A house which also had inside
A little piggy trying to hide.

"You'll not get me!" the Piggy cried.
"I'll blow you down!" the Wolf replied.
"You'll need," Pig said, "a lot of puff,
And I don't think you've got enough."
Wolf huffed and puffed and blew and blew.
The house stayed up as good as new.
"If I can't blow it down," Wolf said,
I'll have to blow it up instead.
I'll come back in the dead of night
And blow it up with dynamite!"
Pig cried, "You brute! I might have known!"
Then, picking up the telephone,
He dialed as quickly as he could
The number of red Riding Hood.

"Hello," she said. "Who's speaking? Who?
Oh, hello, Piggy, how d'you do?"
Pig cried, "I need your help, Miss Hood!
Oh help me, please! D'you think you could?"
"I'll try of course," Miss Hood replied.
"What's on your mind...?" "A Wolf!" Pig cried.
"I know you've dealt with wolves before,
And now I've got one at my door!"

"My darling Pig," she said, "my sweet,
That's something really up my street.
I've just begun to wash my hair.
But when it's dry, I'll be right there."

A short while later, through the wood,
Came striding brave Miss Riding Hood.
The Wolf stood there, his eyes ablaze,
And yellowish, like mayonnaise.
His teeth were sharp, his gums were raw,
And spit was dripping from his jaw.
Once more the maiden's eyelid flickers.
She draws the pistol from her knickers.
Once more she hits the vital spot,
And kills him with a single shot.
Pig, peeping through the window, stood
And yelled, "Well done, Miss Riding Hood!"

Ah, Piglet, you must never trust
Young ladies from the upper crust.
For now, Miss Riding Hood, one notes,
Not only has two wolfskin coats,
But when she goes from place to place,
She has a PIGSKIN TRAVELING CASE.

Well, 2006 has almost come to an end and what a load of quotes its brought with us! so here we have the best quotes of 2006 and remember to vote for your favourite! just post a comment and tell us what your favourite was. and after that, why not challenge your quote-knowledge with the 'Know Your Quotes' Quiz! Happy Quoting People!

1."I'm giving up maths for lent" Victoria

2. Death by Differentiation" Kirsty

3. Your Equating Your Equations" Mrs Frenguelli

4. "Jaffa Cake tourettes" Kirsty

5. "Don't go to Greenland! The mooses are terrible there" Ms Harrison

6. "Life is too short for higher maths" Victoria

7. "Queen of the Polynomials" Kirsty

8. "I dont want to go down the street with you - you might eat me" Joe

9. "Rasputin was murdered to death" Victoria

10. "FOH is like salt; you can add it to everything and it's bad for your health" Joe

11. "FOH is also like salt as it kills slugs. seriously." Joe

12."James, I slobbered at the mouth" Joe

13. "He's a little bitch" Random First Year

14. "It's all about the Penis" Sileas

15. "...I need to change my fish filter!" Caroline

16. "I actual shat a brick foh!" Kerry

17. Oh no, I've made an awful permangantey mess!" Sileas

18. "He's not got much of a sixpack" Hannah
"It's more like a flatpack" Victoria

19. "Cheeser!" Kerry

20. "Picture of our faces? Bugger that, take a picture of our skirts!" Kerry

21. "Pissdom, here we come" Victoria

22. "Roasting like a bitch" Kerry

23. "My toffee apple is sticky" Courtney

24. "You have that computing studies look about you" Kirsty

25. "I dont say stupid things" Caroline

26. "mmm i smell like a boy - sniff me" Hannah

27. "Oh no, I'm sleeping in the crack!" Victoria

28. "I'm trying to get in the sleeping bag, not with you on top of me" Courtney

29. "Courtney, your a tit" Kerry
"Yeh, I know, I've got them" Courtney

30. "I love singing me!" Georgia

31. "Nothing like a bit of force" Victoria

32. "Hannah, you just touched my thigh" Caroline

33. "If anyone steals my points, I'll put my fist in their face!" Kerry

34. "my hand's sore beacuse I've been flicking this around too much" Caroline

35. "As the tiddler's say" Courtney

36. "I have 29 of them (condoms), I'll bring you five" Kerry

37. "I think i was German in another life" Nicole

38. *referring to Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everyone'* "Hannah, what does this remind you of?" Kerry
"Christmas" Georgia

39. "Piddy!" Victoria and Kerry

40. "Listen...It fizzles!" Caroline

41. "I don't know if this is the right word, but she's a bit superficial" Hannah
"Well are are you trying to say?" Victoria
"Overprotective!" Hannah

42. "A Bread Sandwich!" Emily

43. "Isabel looks more like Mary than Brenda." Dad
"Thats because Mary and Isabel are twins!!" Me

44. "Isabel is married to Dochy's Husband."
*peels of laughter*
"Dochy's a man!" Mum
"what did i say?!" Dad

45. "He's at the Dentist" Caroline
"It's cos of his teeth!" Victoria

46. "Cinnomon Grahams - Grit on a Shreddie" victoria

47. "If Lidl and Aldi joined together, they would be called ALIDL. spend Alidl, live a lot" emily

48. "i am quite royally up shit creek without a paddle, as someone has taken it and used it to break both my arms so i cant even swim" Sileas, regarding course choices.

49. "if a blind man was pouring tea at the cinema he would spill it!"Lauren
*Emily and Christy give her odd looks*
"why would a blind man go to the cinema??!"
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