Dear Alcohol,

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work pint of lager, a glass of wine at the weekend, refreshment during sporting events on television, you're even around in the holidays, or hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings.

However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those people who I know for a fact do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a kebab, a butter chicken curry along with a sausage with cheese, onion and mustard (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few sweet chilli and sour cream red rock crisps)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.

In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Friday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,

P.S.

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have s*x.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. No Kebab for me Thank you!
4. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

You are
[ ] short
[] 5′4″-5′5″
[ ] 5′5″-5′6″
[♥] 5′6″-5′7″
[ ] 5′8″-5′9″
[] 5′10″ and up

Your confessions:
[♥ ] I'm afraid of silence
[♥] I am really ticklish
[ ] I'm afraid of the dark
[ ] I've collected comic books
[ ] I sometimes shut out others
[ ] I open up to others TOO easily
[♥ ] I read the newspaper
[♥ ] I love Disney movies
[♥♥] I am a sucker for gorgeous eyes
[♥♥] I am a sucker for a gorgeous smile
[ ] I don't kill bugs
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[♥] I bake well
[ ] I have worn pyjamas to class
[ ] I love Martha Stewart
[♥ =[ it sux ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[♥♥] I love to laugh
[ ] I can't swallow pills
[♥] I bite my nails
[ ] I play computer games when I'm bored
[♥] I have gotten lost in the city
[♥] I have gone out in public in my pyjamas
[ ] I have made out in an elevator
[ ] I have been skydiving
[ ] I have been bungee jumping
[♥] I have bitten someone
[ ] I have egged or T.P.ed a house/car
[ ] I have smashed a car
[ ] I have been fired

Have you ever…
[♥] seen a shooting star
[♦] joke proposed to anyone
[ ] gotten stitches
[ ] eaten Sushi
[♥] gotten the chicken pox
[♥] Ridden in a taxi
[ ] Been on a cruise ship
[♥] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[♥ ] Been on a plane by yourself
[♥ ] had surgery
[♥ ] seen a movie more than 3 times in the theater
[♥] been on stage
[♥] gotten a black eye
[♥♥] memorized all the dialogue in a movie
[ ] watched an entire baseball game

Do you like…
[ ] old movies
[ ] musicals
[♥] blasting music in your car
[♥] foreign foods
[ ] gameboy Pokemon
[♥♥] Christmas time
[♥] doughnuts
[ ] animals
[♥♥] coffee
[♥] tea
[♦] summer
[♥] winter



TWO'S OF EVERY KIND

Two Names You Go By: Dannielle, Denzelle
Two things you are wearing right now: Trackies and a Jacket
Two Places You Want to go on Vacation: England, Ireland
Two Things You Are Thinking About Now: New Car and the thought that im so exited uni is nearly over
Two Reasons you're doing this survey: Im very Bored & I copied it from someone
Spell your name without vowels: Dnnll gldn
How many pairs of jeans do you own?: 5
What Two color(s) do you wear most often? Black, White
What's for dinner tonight? Pumpkin Soup
Are you happy with your life right now? Not really

[Do you own a…}
- PS2: Yeop
- XBOX: nope
- PSP: nope
- Gamecube: nope
- Digital Camera: Yeop

In what state or country do you want to go to school after high school? Overseas would be nice.. but sufferably i will tolerate NSW

Do you shop at stores like Aeropostale and American Eagle? Umm No.. we have those stores??

How do you make money?: I dont... i did work.. but im movin so i gotta find a new way to rake in some cash

Last thing you bought?: a book i think.. (i know. eew ay)

How's the weather?: Cold and Raining

When did you start summer break?: Summer

Do you own big sunglasses?: Yeop

What should you be doing right now?: Getting off the computer

Who did you hug today?: Noone

How many beds did you lay in yesterday?: 1

What color shirt are you wearing?: Grey

Name one thing that you do everyday? Breathe

Whats the color are your bedroom walls?: Pink feature wall and the rest white with a light green border. (weird i no.. not our house so dont care)

How much cash do you have on you right now? zero dollars and zero cents...

What's your favorite sport?: to watch and to play are 2 different things... but theres a few

Q: When was the last time you saw your dad? 6 months ago

Q: What did you have for dinner last night? lamb

Q: Look to your left, what do you see? closed door

Q: Do you have plants in your room?: eew no

Q: Whats your favorite starbucks drink? ANYTHING!! yumm

Q: Recent time you were really upset? like a week or 2 ago i think

My Other Half

1) Who Is Your Other Half?
Shakkers

2) Have Yoouu Met Their Mum..?
Yea like a million times

3) Where Did You First Meet..?
Skool

4) How Old Were Yoouu When Yoouu First Met..?
12

5) Is This Person One Of Your Best Friends..?
Yepp.. alwayz

6) Is This Person Older Than Yoouu..?
Yepp

7) When Was The Last Time Yoouu Saw Them..?
A while ago

Name One Good Memory
Everything..

9) Are Youu Related Too This Person..?
Yep.. we're twins jks

10) When Will Yoouu See Them Again..?
Dunno.. soon hopefully

11) Does This Person Have A Cell Phone/Text Messaging..?
Yepp

12) Aree Yoouu Their Boyf/Girlf..?
Nopee

13) Do Yoouu Have Nicknames For Each Other..
Ummm... not for just between us I dont think

14) Do Youu Have Pics Of This Person On Your Bebo..?
Yepp

15) How Many Times Do Yoouu Talk/Write Too This Person In A Week..?
As much as i can

16) Do Yoouu Think The Person Will Repost This..?
Nopee

17) Does This Person Like Yoouu..?
I Think So lmao.. shed wanna luv ya shakkers

1 Could Yoouu Stand Too Live With This Person..?
Hell yeah!!!

19) Do Yoouu 2 Hang Out Often..?
Nopee .. not now that shes away .. always did tho

20) Havee Youu Seen This Person Cry..?
Yepp

21) Why Is This Person Your Other Half..?
She Is Awesome & My Bestest friend Forever!

22) Do They Live Near Yoouu..?
Nopee.. well.. kinda.. but atm no

23) Say Something That Only Makes Sense Too Yoouu And Them :
. . [Dunno]

24) Do Your And Her Parents Know Each Other..?
Yeaa

25) Do Youu Know This Person's Middle Name..?
Yeahh

26) Doo Theyy Havee Anyy Petss..?
Yep.. Rover the lipsticky notorious d.o.g


27) Whatss Youu Twos Song..?
We Got wayyy to many...

29) What's Something They Like Too Do..?
shoppin lol

30) Do Yoouu Have Much In Common With Them..?
Yepp Heaps