theres probably a 90% chance ul get a kick in the face for sayin these....

1: you see my friend over there, well he wants to know if u think im cute?
2:if a woman asks, "do u ave the time", u reply, "yeah, do u ave the energy!"
3:hey im like milk, il do ur body good
4: if u think chewbacca is hairy , wait til u see my wookie
5:how bout u sit on my lap an we'll talk bout the first thin dat pops up
6:i'm bowlin 4 love, an ur right up my alley, wanna strike?
7: i may b no fred flinstone, but i certainly can make ur bedrock
8: i bet u dont eat pedigree chum cos u certainly dont look like a dog
9:wud u like an australian kiss? its a bit like a frnch kiss, except down under
10:my love for u is like diarrheoa , it jus keeps comin
11: hey, wanna dance? come on, lower ur standards, i ave
12: u must work at subway, cos uve just given me a footlong
13:You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad
14: baby, ur turnin my floppy disc in2 a hard drive
15:i'll treat u like my homework, il slam u on the table an do u all night long
16:are u a parkin ticket cos u got fine written all over u
17:are u jamaican? cos ur ja'makin me horny
18:do u eat frosties? cos ur bringin out the tiger in me grrrrr
19: i'm like dominos pizza, if i dont come in 30mins, the next 1 is free
20:do u like 2 dance? wel den go dance so i can talk to ur friend

Zapp Brannigan: "I'm facing a formidable female adversary Kif. Sugestions?"
Kif Kroker: "I fail to see any problems, sir. You've already imprisoned her under directive b10.81."
Zapp Brannigan: "You mean "Brannigan's Law"."
Kif Kroker: "Right, that law."
Zapp Brannigan: (slyly)"Which one?"
Kif Kroker: (in a very tired voice) "Brannigan's Law."
Zapp Brannigan: "Kif. You're my best and most loyal friend but you've earned my contempt once more. As my protegé you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her."
Kif Kroker: "Ohhh."
Zapp Brannigan: "And this time we're sure she's a woman, right?"
Kif Kroker: (In a even more tired voice) "Yes!"
Zapp Brannigan: "Good! Invite her to my quarters. Oh and have the boy lay out my formal shorts."
Kif Kroker: "The boy, sir?"
Zapp Brannigan: "You! You lay out my formal shorts."


Zapp: (as kif is scrubbing his back)lower...mm..lower....lower...
 TOO LOW!...mm..lower"


Zapp: Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men!


Zapp: The quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parenrs, have sex with them and your in.


Zapp: "If you as so much look at another woman, I'll be all over Leela like a fly on a pile of very sensual manure."


Zapp: I could mop the floor, or paint a fence or service you sexually!


Femputer: You are sentanced to Death! By Snu Snu!!
Kiff: *wimper*
Zapp: What are you, Gay!?!


Zapp: ... you're the only woman who ever loved me
Leela: I never loved you!
Zapp: I mean physically


Leela: ya know zapp, once i thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then i realized that inside you were just a pitiful child. But now i realize that outside that child is a big, pompous buffoon!
Zapp: and which one Rocked Your World?


Zapp: Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love....HARD and FAST!


Zapp: Lemon, you're a man's man...you're a man's man's man. But more importantly, your hand while firm and masculine is soft as a velvet child.
...
Zapp: That young man fills me with hope.....and some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing.


Zapp: Guess I'll have to sleep myself to the top. Kif, wake me when i'm there.


Zapp: The enemy approaches. Lieutenant, fire missile 1 and recommend me for another medal. Make it gaudy, I'm going clubbing later.
(Kif press a button nothing happens, he press it repeatedly, same result)
Zapp: Tick-tack!
Kif: Sir, all planetary defenses have been disabled. Perhaps the Decapodians acquired our secret code (sarcastic) somehow.
Zapp: Well, Kif, stand by to take the blame ... steady ... steady ....... NOW!


Kif: Sir, we have an emergency on the bridge.
Zapp: Call me back when it's a catastrophy!


Zapp: The alien mothership is in orbit here. (Points on map) If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"
Kif: sigh
Zapp: Now, like all great plans my strategy is so simple an idiot could've devised it. On my command all ships will line up and fly directly into the alien death canons, clogging them with wreckage.


Bender: Sir, I volunteer for a suicide mission! Ah, cut it out.
Zapp: You're a brave robot son, but when Im in command every mssion is a suicide mission.


Zapp: Leela, our love has survived so much...including your hatred of me.


Zapp: We've met before, have we not?
Leela: Yes.
Zapp: And on that occasion, did you have sex with someone? May I remind you, you're still under oath.
Leela: (sigh)Yes.
Zapp: Please point out the person in this court room you had sex with.
Leela: (annoyed, points at Zapp)
Zapp: And his name is??
Leela: Zapp Brannigan.
Zapp: The very same Zapp Brannigan who did not blow up DOOP headquarters. I rest my case.


Zapp: So, this Leela, I know she's a very sensuous woman, but what manner of captain is she?
Fry: She's very strict.
Bender: And mean.
Zapp: I see, does she by any chance give the crew members spankings?
Fry: No, she just makes us do work