Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and kept the same tag-line...
Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better
Tesco Condoms - every little helps
Nike Condoms - Just do it.
Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.
Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.
KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.
Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hands
Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load.
Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated enough
Coca Cola condoms - The real thing
Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going
Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop
Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper
Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide
FCUK condoms - no comment required.
Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain.
Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile
Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.
Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
Renault condoms - size really does matter
Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tin
Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in 30 minutes
Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!! (Please)
Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world
AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service
Pepperami condoms - it's a bit of an animal
Polo condoms - the condom with the hole

Full Name: Gavin Patrick John O'Neill
Home town: Aghagallon
Nicknames: Nut, GavyNut, Frank The Tank.lol
Marital Status: Single
Zodiac: Scorpio
Hair Colour: brown
Eye color: brown
Height: 6 ft
Favorite Color: green
Piercing/tattoos?: left arm
Full Siblings names: Ryan and Cairan
Cut your own hair?: sometimes if i shave it all off
Bungee jumped: no but wud luv to
Kissed someone of the same sex not related to you?no
Kiss more than two people in one day: yip
Stared at the stars for hours?: no
Won something?: yea
Asked someone out?: yup
Been rejected? Yes lol
Been to a funeral?: yup unfortunitally
Used a lighter?: yup
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Heritage: irish
Thoughts First Waking Up: how da fuck did i get home last nyt.lol
Your Best Physical Feature: bum lmfbo
Your Most Missed Memory: dnt hav 1
Pepsi or Coke: coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: neither there both humin
Single or Group Dates: single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: ooo i lak my ice tea.lol. fck off
Do you Swear: all the fckin time
Do you Sing: yup very well.lol
Do you Shower Daily: yep every morning
Have you Been in Love: yep
Do you want to go to College: no!!!!!!!!
Do you want to get Married: yes
Do you belive in yourself: hell yeah if i dnt how eles will.lol
Do you get Motion Sickness: nope
Do you think you are Attractive: im a sxi basterd.lol
Are you a Health Freak:nah
Do you get along with your Parents: sometimes
Do you like Thunderstorms: yeah thre cool
Do you play an Instrument: used 2
In the past month have you gone on a Date: na
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yea
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: wat?? lol
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no but wud lak to try it
In the past month have you been Dumped: nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: it was december lst month r ya mad its freezing.
Ever been called a Tease: yea!
Ever been Beaten up: probly.lol
How do you want to Die: dnt wana think bot that at the min.lol
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: a pimp, jigilo and a buckfast taster.lol
What country would you most like to Visit: Australia
What do you look for most in a Girl: personality and a nice bum.lol.
Favourite Eye Colour: brown
Favourite Hair Colour: brown

an alchos prayer !!!!!!!!!!!
We believe in one drink, Guinness the
almighty
Makers of cans and bottles
Of all that is drunk and un-drunk
We believe in one brewer, Arthur
The only son of Guinness
Eternally begotten of the hops
Hops from hops, barley from barley
True drink from true drink
Begotten not made
Of one distillery of the Father
Through it all things were made
For us men and our salvation
It comes down from St. James Gate
By the power of the market he became
incarnate
And was made a rich man
For our sake we are crucified under
Pontious Prices
Bad pints, suffer hangovers and A.A.
meetings
On the next day we rise again in
accordance
With our scruples and ascend into oblivion
We come again to judge the living and the
dead
We believe in one alcoholic beverage
Brewed and bottled under one licence
We acknowledge one Arthur, son of the
almighty pint
Conceived in heaven and sold on earth
Blessed is the one drink through one
father and many sons
Sold under one label and distributed
throughout the world
We look for the resurrection of new drinks
And a cure for hangovers.
Amen