Dread These Moments Alone

Drowning In Bubbling Waves, But Still Fighting The Seeping Current, Challenge Of The Mind, Because My World Awaits Behind These Foggy Stars

20 tygodni temu | ja też! | Odpowiedz

Dread These Moments Alone
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  • Kobieta, Serce 67
  • z This Hell Inside My Head
  • Związek: W pojedynkę
  • Wyświetlenia: 3 553
  • Jest z nami od: February 2005
  • bebo.gazeta.pl/Injured_Sanity

O mnie

Motto
Feel The Sky Closing In, These Sounds Squeezing My Ears, A Pressure I Can't Endure, Yet Can't Escape
Ja, o mnie i jeszcze raz ja
It's so simple how complicated life is.

***

Been way too long, need to move on, pick myself up, scramble out of this pile of bones, and just keep on walking.

***

Life's like a rollercoaster, it makes you scream, it makes you laugh, it makes tears stream down your face, it flips the known upside-down and then just keeps on going.

***

And you know what? I've over-thought everything in my life, created unnecessary problems, fallen over self-created hurdles, what ever happened to just going with the flow?

***

Take the last couple of years and I've grown up a lifetime. And yet I still have a couple more lifetimes to go.

***

Deep breath. This is something I've got to face on my own. No one else can beat this devil inside me, but me.

***

Trying to save yourself from something inescapable is like trying to fly when your wings are broken, you can keep throwing yourself off the edge of the cliff, giving an illusion of soaring, but you'll always hit the ground.
♪ Music ♪
BANDS: ♪ Story of the Year ♪ Nickelback ♪ The Fray ♪ Metallica ♪ Paramore ♪ Simple Plan ♪ The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus ♪ 3 Doors Down ♪ Papa Roach ♪ Fall Out Boy ♪ My Chemical Romance ♪ Snow Patrol ♪ Linkin' Park ♪ Daughtry ♪ Rihanna ♪ Lady GaGa ♪ Kate Perry ♪ JLS ♪ Black Eyed Peas ♪
Songs: ♪ Who's Gotta Match ♪ Fijate Bien ♪ Beat Again ♪ Boom Boom Pow ♪ Welcome To My Life ♪ Stronger ♪ Waking Up In Vegas ♪ Supernova ♪ Bulletproof ♪ I've Gotta Feeling ♪ Battlefield ♪
RADIO STATION: ♪ Kiss 100 ♪
Things I Love...♥
♥ all my m8s ♥ laughing so hard i can't stop ♥ listening to music ♥ swinging as high as i can ♥ writing ♥ horse riding ♥ shopping ♥ playing footy ♥ chatting with my mates ♥ walking along a sandy beach ♥ swimming in the sea ♥ being me ♥
Things I Hate...♠
♦ watching my world fall apart and not being able to stop it ♦ trying to pretend like nothing's wrong ♦ hospitals ♦ lies ♦ losing someone ♦ not being able to turn my life around ♦ labels ♦ not being able to help people i love ♦ shattered dreams ♦ arguing ♦ change ♦ being out of control ♦ panic ♦
My Writing ☺
Check Out: ☺ http://BlackAndWhiteLove.bebo.com ☺ << for my book - Stick Poked Blind ☺
☺ http://MatchLitLove.bebo.com ☺ << for my second book ☺
☺ http://ExplorationOfMyMind.bebo.com ☺ << for my short stories ☺
☺ http://MyInsight.bebo.com ☺ << for poetry ☺
•Mood•
Desperate, Dying, And Yet Still Trying...
• • • • • •
Poetic Mind Of Mine.

Love Me,


Because You Know This Is All Me.

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  • Defeated Bird Trap

    You’re a whirlwind
    Breaking down my defences,
    You’re the summer storm
    Whipping up the sea.

    There was just something about you,
    There was just something there,
    From the way you walked in and moved the all the air.

    A broken puppet to my fears,
    These emotions exactly what I hate,
    Exactly what I love.

    Totally out of control,
    Running along a knife edge,
    Yet not caring if I slip.

    A single kiss and you’ve got me spinning,
    A lonely glance and my heart can’t stop grinning,
    Haunted with pictures of you and I.

    From these depths you found me,
    Unwilling to be a saviour,
    Dodging responsibility.

    Yet how can I lie? My world
    Seems less like Hell,
    And Heaven feels so much closer now.

    You quenched those attacks,
    Only a ripple filled by your distractions,
    A motivation to keep staying strong.

    Tears will fill my eyes,
    Can’t help but cry,
    As I know you want only half of me.

    Can’t dumb down these emotions,
    Send them packing as you
    Scold dependency.

    Told you my mind’s a rocker,
    And you, such a heart-stopper,
    Have me reeling.

    I don’t want to be the one that stops you,
    Don’t want to be a tie,
    A burden,
    Something you have to live with,
    Not something you can’t live without.

    Not my intension, yet so hard to
    Audit my actions, measure up
    What you want me to be.

    You’d cringe, I can see it,
    At those words that you
    Changed me.

    Yet I’m still here,
    A winning courage with
    The strength you’ve given me.

    Simply a kick-start,
    A helping hand to stand me on my feet,
    Not a dependable, just a hopeful.

    I’ll try to hide this intensity,
    That I worry sometimes,
    That thoughts of you tend to fill my mind.

    I’ll take a step back through
    Mid-air once I’ve already fallen,
    Scared at how far down I’ve come,
    And how far could be left.

    You’re a bird to me,
    Something with such beauty,
    An incredible song,
    An inspiration with wings,
    I wish to hold you,
    Watch you,
    Paint you as my ecstasy,
    And yet want you to be free
    To fly those unfamiliar skies.

    0 komentarzy 1 dzień

  • Jumped Captive

    I'm falling in over my head
    With your flowing eyes the lone shove,
    A tsunami filled ocean
    I just can’t help but drown in.

    I’m terrified.

    Let me run from these emotions
    That threaten to take me down,
    Hide in this corner and
    Throw out my heart.

    I’m terrified.

    Yet every time I see you
    A smile breaks my face,
    And your voice soothes
    This raging storm of my mind.

    I’m terrified.

    Gone too far, way too fast,
    Yet we’ve barely left the start,
    Your kiss pure ecstasy to me,
    An addiction I’m unwilling to kick.

    I’m terrified.

    Know how these stories end,
    Been tripped up way to many times,
    Sent sprawling
    Right across the ground.

    I’m terrified.

    Lost myself in this feeling,
    Overwhelmed by your breathing,
    It catches me so off guard
    To see the way we are.

    I’m terrified.

    You had me from that single glance,
    I never even had a chance,
    My heart back flips at every touch,
    Cardiac arrest, too much but still not enough.

    I’m terrified.

    Nothing to do but surrender,
    It’s out of my control, broken defender,
    These sparks that fly when our lips meet,
    The loss that without your hand mine is incomplete.

    I’m terrified.

    I’ll close my eyes,
    Take a step into the sky,
    Chase this dream through the stars
    And hold my hands up to the scars.

    0 komentarzy 7 dni

  • Dispirited Hues

    Watch these stars fall into the ground,
    The sunflowers turn away from the sun,
    This world stop spinning, this earth start grinning,
    A million miles from perfect.

    A softly strung tune,
    Your voice haunting every word,
    Your shadow a step behind mine all day,
    Your essence a taunting ghost’s perfume that clings to me.

    Can’t shake these thoughts,
    Can’t race away from these emotions,
    A spiral I’m falling into, out of control,
    Yet I still chose to jump.

    This alien inside has appeared,
    Taken over, drowned me far below,
    A voice surrounded by tears
    That seizes my weakness and wins.

    A heart tied with lead weights,
    The waves crashing heavens above,
    This blue invasion, a moment of peace,
    A moment of sorrow,
    And a dozen shades of grey.

    Why bother to glance at a broken soul?
    Why tie these lose ends together
    When the rest are scattered and torn?

    Chasing skating raindrops down the glass,
    Counting as they melt into one,
    Fall,
    Splash, and become no more.

    An open-ended story,
    Flooding emotions,
    A snapped flag hanging sideways,
    All such an adequate picture of me.

    0 komentarzy 8 dni

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16 May
Lucky Color:Amber
Personality Strengths:Creativity, Determination
Personality Weakness(es):Impulsiveness
Successful Career Path:Fashion
Sense of Humor Style:Goofy
Adjectives to Describe You:enterprising, adventurous
Description:
Passionate and proud - you stand very firmly on issues you truly believe in. Unrelentless and driven - you are willing to work very hard when you have to. While not an angry person by nature, you can be hot-tempered when things aren't going your way.

What does your birthday mean?
Who shares your birthday?

zamknij What song are you?

What song are you?

My result is: Yellow - Coldplay

You are Yellow by Coldplay. You are a kind loving person that really care about that one special person you love. You will probably do almost anything for them as well. Your heart is compelled forward towards passion and love and will most likely not stop until you get that.
More quizzes:
what model are you?
Who's Your Perfect Celeb Mate?
Whats yuurh real name?
what will your baby girl look like
how interesting are you?
What colour best suits your personality?
What Rocky Horror And The Picture Show Character Are You?
Are you an Angel or Devil?
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zamknij Stylish, Smart, or Social: Which Are You?

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Zagraj w gry w serwisie Bebo!

Wypróbuj najbardziej wciągające gry.

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zamknij What Cartoon Character Are You?

What Cartoon Character Are You?

My result is: Tinkerbell

Your a tiny magical pixie! .... Actually your just pretty and spunky person. People think of you as adventurous and super cute. There is that certain something about you that makes everyone like you at first glance. You are very kind but has a big temper and will go off if anything frustrates you. When somthing new happens your always there ready for a new challenge! At best you are a very special person.
More quizzes:
what football player are u?
what model are you?
Who's Your Perfect Celeb Mate?
Whats yuurh real name?
what will your baby girl look like
how interesting are you?
What colour best suits your personality?
What Rocky Horror And The Picture Show Character Are You?
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zamknij What colour best suits your personality?

What colour best suits your personality?

My result is: Blue

You are cool, calm and collected. When socialising with friends you join in but you don't over exert yourself. You sit back and relax and chill with your friends you don't like to jump around and go crazy. That's cool but sometimes you should experiment with your crazy side. You never know, you might like it!
More quizzes:
how random are you?
What is your usual mood????
Who is your Disney Prince? (girlz only)
Which Avril Lavigne song is you?
What Type Of Guy Are You
are you pretty or darn right ugly?
Try On the Hogwarts Sorting Hat.
wat will ur next boyfriends nmae start with
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zamknij Relationship Preferences


Relationship Prefrence
Would you rather have a fun fling or a lasting relationship? :
lasting relationship
What was your longest relationship? :
1 year, 1 month
What is your favorite personality trait? :
caring
What is the most romantic thing a significant other could do? :
just be sweet to me :)
When you are dating someone, what is the most important thing to you? :
trust
Do you like pet names (ex: baby, sweetheart...)? :
yes, but depends on what
What is your ideal night out with a significant other? :
beach
What is your ideal night in with a significant other? :
relax, cuddle, watch movies
Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn't feel it? :
no
Do you like relationships that invovle serious commitments? :
depends
If you ever got engaged, how would you want it to happen? :
not sure...
If you were engaged, would you want a wedding as soon as possible? :
no
Do you like to talk about the future when in a serious relationship? :
yes
Do you prefer a sensitive open relationship or a strong silent type? :
strong silent type
When in a relationship do you have to have contact with your partner on a daily basis? :
yes
Do you like public displays of affection? :
yes
Is there anything you won't tolerate while in a relationship? :
abuse!
What is one thing that you value most in a relationship? :
being able to tell them anything
Would you ever be able to handle a long-distance situation? :
have done - wasn't so fun...
Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage? :
yes
Relationship Prefence.....

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  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    hey lol =)

    yee good strategy =P

    i know!! i'm gonna be spending all weekend on it =(
    lol, ye like 1st week in november...but 3 deadlines around the same date =/

    house is a LOT further away from uni, so you have to take into account extra time to get to lectures =) lol and also cos your moving into resedental area, the supermarket is further away too =( so if you do a big food shop....long way to lug it back to your house
    BUT a lot more freedom and no fire alarms!! lol

    aww that sounds amazing!! =)
    yee party time =P lol
    i joined the paintballing soc =D

    cheers, have fun at work, dont do tooo much overtime =P lol

    take care xxxxx

    10 tygodni temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    heyy

    been really busy with coursework! 1st week back and we were set 5 pieces!! =S
    yee its much better than a-levels. social and also your going into something that hopefuly you enjoy. so ye, good fun....normally [cw is the exeption] lol
    aww thanks =)
    yee got a 5bed house =) nice in some ways. but halls is a priority for 1st year!! yee house is good!

    aww sweet! hows job and stuff going? whats the plan for the next 10-11 months?
    freshures was good. went to the fair and signed up to a soc. i only went out one night...really cba to go out that much now...

    safe! take care! sorry its taken sooo long to reply! been so hectic with work! xxxxxx

    10 tygodni temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    hey
    lol thank you =P
    haha, we'll see lol =D

    erm work wise, first year should be easy similar to AS or maybe even GCSE but basically it gives you an intro to your course and sorts out the men from the ladies...as in, the people who are gonna be able to cope with it for the next 3/4 years =) and those that are gonna flop!

    ahhh i see =)

    ohh!! your going to uni?? or are you taking a gap??

    yep, take care xxxx

    12 tygodni temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    heya

    lol!! i can tell your already psyching yourself up for it!! LOL
    wow!! thats well good!! your so lucky!!

    yer, i'm here now [just got here a few hours ago] =D
    yes. it is nice to be back.
    haha!! i'm sure!! wow!! scotland!! why did they move from the US to there?!?

    haha!! sounds good!!
    where you going again?? and when?? or are you already there?!? =S

    heyy thank you =D i;m sure i will
    have a good freshurs yourself!! stick with your flat mates!! going to bed late is the norm!! so make sure your up till about 2/3!! otherwise i;m sure you've missed out on all the action =)

    take care xxxx

    13 tygodni temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    nah, i'll think i'll live =) i will miss them, but its not like i'm totally dependant on them [like some ppl are]
    haha, nah nothing big...i'll let you know tho!!
    aww thanks =) hope you get your placement ookay!! and let me know what your planning on doing after!! jetting off somewhere v exotic no doubt!! =D
    haha, i confess i cant remember. i got the equivilent of a 2, 1... so alright =)
    yer, till then take care xxx

    14 tygodni temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    heyy, meh, probebly didn't reply then. my bad =S
    aww well done katie!! those are amazing grades!!
    wow that is soo good!! what you going there to study?!?
    oh, okay, how's that going?? i've been trying to get a part time job, with no luck =(
    erm, yes i suppose. we have some sort of induction day [i know, were already at the uni!! wtf!!] so thats on the monday of freshures. then i plan to hang about for the rest of the week to get all the student deals and discounts...then there is obviouslly going out most nights as well =)
    yer, holls with mates are always sick
    and then hols with the rents are good chill time =) and tan time if you need it =P

    14 tygodni temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    heyy,
    i dunno if i havent replied or what, thought i'd catch up!! its been time!!
    sweet!! so how did your results go?? wher you going to uni??
    yer, germany was phatt!! i mean really good!!
    erm, then turkey for 2 weeks, that was good. more of a chill holiday. just like beach and pool =)
    safe, safe. yer, i've just been cruzing thru this hol as well =D
    my first day is the 21st. so i'll be going back 19th or 20th.
    take care xxx

    14 tygodni temu
  • Andy Abercrombie
    luv Andy Abercrombie

    * Leaves a message in order to leave some love *

    Love is rare, you can only give it 3 times a day! - what a load of bollocks!

    xXx :)

    19 tygodni temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    hey,

    aww, thats good to hear!!

    i am good thank you.
    yes, it has been a while!!

    sweet, you back now?? or still out there??
    ah, well its coming in useful then!! how long to been learning it??

    same old, same old. chilling mostly. reading a bit, tv, playstation =D. went to ireland for a "short break" type thing. that was nice.
    then went up to leicester when we got back for family stuff. so was good to see everyone again!! shall be off to germany on the 25th!! so looking forward to that!!

    how about you?? what you get up to/still doing in spain?? any sight-seeing?? anything planned for the not to distant future??

    haha!! yes, i am enjoying the summer so far!! i trust you are too??

    take care xxx

    22 tygodnie temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    heyy,
    you alright?? been a while..
    hows the summer?? been up to much??
    xxx

    22 tygodnie temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    heyy!!
    wow!! you go girl!! i would be long dead by now!!
    sounds lika plan!!
    yer, saw you today!! [picking up ma bro] how come you wern't driving??
    how'd it go?? gut feeling??
    haha!! why thank you!! i'm sure you'd do the same if you were in my position!! still need to organise things with mates, otherwise summer will be lame!! def. wanna go to london a few times!! oh, and thorpe park =D
    good luck with what you've got left!!
    see you saturday, i hope!! xxx

    27 tygodni temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    heyy!! finally got round to replying!!! soz!!
    yer, dunno if im gonna repeat some stuff... yer finished on the 26th. so summer has started =D exams went kay, i think =S dont really know anymore tbh. just gotta see what results i get!! lol
    lol, its kool i understand. dont quite get how you could do that much revision tho...i'd be trying to do almost anything but revise...i.e. internet!! lol
    wow, thats kool, anything planned for after?? some massive party or something???
    atm i'm chilling at home. bit of ps3. met up with old bhs friends again. just enjoying freedom and the weather really =)
    kk, i can wait! lol!
    good luck & take care xxx

    28 tygodni temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    hmmmm, yes revision. fun.
    i've been trying to revise too. i have my good days and my bad days. mostly bad days =( can't seem to get into it!! grrr!!
    3weeks till study leave!!!!! that’s agesss!!!
    so when do you actually finish? for the summer??

    thanks, i'm good. how are you? how’s the car?? lol

    take care
    xxx

    33 tygodnie temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    hey!!

    first exam went okay. was expecting that!! its the last two that i'm worried about!! =S [3 left]

    aww, well that’s good then!! well done =D
    one down!! how many more left till freedom?? lol

    yep!! i know!! and i cant wait!! the summer will be amazing, fingers crossed the weather will be good too!!!

    yer, bad times!! but everything changes when you come to uni!! most of my friends are done before the 16th, that’s IF they have exams!! so you can enjoy your birthday properly next year!! =D

    aww that’s a shame =(
    gonna go back?? live there? gap?

    turkey is for 2 weeks... should be good!!
    germany was the decided location. and will be just chilling there mostly, few days out planned tho...were gonna go to town for a day, then there is rafting i think [not sure if it was booked in the end] and were prop gonna go to a water park somewhere as well =D

    33 tygodnie temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    sadly the road trip is not concrete yet...in fact i'm pretty sure its going to fall through =(
    but i am going to turkey [with the family]
    then germany for a week with some indian friends
    and hopefully more!! but we shall see!!

    first exam [proper] is on the 1st...not long now...

    yer i suppose. chilling with a bit of revision every now and then. =D

    how are you?? good easter in the end [minus any revision]?? up to much this weekend??

    take care
    xxx

    34 tygodnie temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    hey,

    no its not like that, just wondering where you were...2 weeks is rather a long time!! well enjoying my easter...hmm sort of! more like painful revision!!

    ooh!! well good luck, sound ready for it, so i'm sure you will be fine.

    yer, i know!! its because we have had really small xmas and easter hols. so more term time in the beginning, but more freedom over the summer!! works for me!! =P
    and for once, i get a birthday without being in the middle of revision/exams!! =D

    haha!! spain sound good!!! you ever tried speaking spanish before? i think its much easier than you think...even if your sentences are a bit muddled =S
    back to england? that’s pretty kool!!
    you lived in uk before right? why move to usa, then move back?? work-related??

    34 tygodnie temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    heyy!!
    seems like its been ages!! how have you been? apart from doing revision?
    well that sucks!! yep, easter is good, nice chill time!! i'm still on hols =D i'm back on the 27th and i finish a month later on the 26th of may [well almost]
    hmmm, i'm not sure!! i am trying...but its not going too well...
    28th!! wow thats soon... ready for it?!?
    ahh!! lol!! i see now!!

    yer, the others were okay, just about passed...which means i have to do well in the exam =S

    well uni officially finishes on the 29th of may, but if ppl finish before then, then they are more than welcome to bugger off... =D
    any MORE plans?!? why whats planned? [i've forgotten what i said]

    aww, thanks. hope everything at your end is good too!! yer...dont leave it 2 weeks next time...=P
    was getting quite worried..

    how about you? your going to the USA right? boston i presume? anything else??

    take care xxx

    35 tygodni temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    heya!!

    yer done for this term. 4 more in may =(
    yer, cant wait. freedom once again!! ooh, and the car!! lol =D
    Thanks, i'm sure i will. good luck with your exams and revision too!! any more that you've got out of the way??
    just did my materials exam today. was okay. the one i'm worried about is my building law... =S did not go well, at all.... =S

    hmmm, i probebly will...but not just yet!! lol
    i'm enjoy the sense of freedom and unknown!! =P

    yer, all been good. been revising a lot so will be nice to go out [hopefuly] before everyone goes back home!!

    hows the easter? when you go back? up to much becides revision?
    soon? why, when is you last exam??

    take care
    xxx

    37 tygodni temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    hey hey,

    hmmm, i'm sure it will be quite good. i just hope that i do get round to revising...i mean, with being home again, the car, ppl to see and catch up with, and then plain avoidance...i dunno if i will be up for any revision!! i hate it, with a passion. =P lol. i really do.

    yer, gotta try and do some last minute cram now...and may be again in the morning if i wake up with time to spare!

    haha!! lol, i cant wait!!

    ah, i hated them. its like a waste of a perfectly good day...oh well. you could go for a nice drive up box hill... expecially if the weather is good =D
    do it!!

    yer, kk
    take care
    xxx

    38 tygodni temu
  • I Kiss I
    I Kiss I

    heya,

    aw, thanks!! you too!!
    hmm, yer will try!! but not making any promises! =P

    lol...it really is. do you break up on wednesday?!?

    haha!! gotta agree with you there!! also you tend to get all sorts of rubbish floating about in the sea...eergh!! yer, sometimes just being at the sea is nice. =D

    yer, sure thing!! tell me how you get on with your oral/exams too!!
    nah, dont actually count towards anything BUT statistics show that the average effort a student makes in his first year is what he will generally do all through uni.
    also for my placment they will take results from this year, because i havent done the 2nd year exams yet!! so same sort of thing...should be similar marks, so my placement might depend on the results =S hope that makes some sort of sense!! =S

    aw, thats a shame. oh well, hope your summer makes up for it!! USA!! sounds good!!

    38 tygodni temu