1.John: Jaes thats a nice house alrite.
Andrew: Ya some builder built it.
John: Thats what builders tend to do.
Andrew: A Fuck off


2.Gavin: Theyr goin building a sportshall in Grangemockler!
Thomas: Sher ull just wreck it Gavin
Paul: Ya Gavins Dream building site!!
Gavin: How wil it be a building site??
Andrew: When theyr fuckn building it ya dope!!!
Gavin: Just shut up....

3. Me: Jaesus Mick d vectras a fine car!
Mick: Anything with four wheels a steerin wheel cluth and accelerator will do for me!
Me: Ya dont even need a cluth sher!
Mick: We could swap that for some brakes so!!

4.Cormac: What were you at for the day John???
John: Drawin clay up in Grangemockler.
Cormac: What were ya doing it up in Grangemocker for..you could have done it at home with some paper and a brown crayon!!!

5. When asked about his view on politicians Pat Shortt replied: Politicians are like dirty nappies and should be changed for the same reason!!

6. When God made men he gave them both a brain and a penis but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time; Robin Williams commenting on the Clinton Lewinski affair!!!

7. John Crowley after Plasterboard skating( we dont have ice in Clonmel) : I'm sweating like a nun in a cucumber field!!!

8. Mick: Il bring back 2 toastie makers next time so wel b able to make four at a time!!
Mullen: Sher thatd b enought to feed the family!
Mick: it would if you had the right ingredients.

9. Teacher: I'm not in the mood for you now!!
Mungo: What miss your not in the mood for ME?

10. Teacher: Arthur I want to see you at break.... and bring your recorder.
Oh i thought you wanted to SEE me!!

11. Teacher: We are not eating in that chinese and thats final.
Marcus: Shut up or ill stick an egg up your nose!!!

12. Mick: Oh there was this young 1 in my last class there (a bit ocnfused) she was sittin on my left... She was sittin on my right..??
Me: Fine hefty lummp of a young1 so!!!

13. Sum1: Why do we ahv 2 have a test Dec?
Dec: Im sorry but i dont have a choice, I have to have something to score you on.
T Dogg: Oh il give you something to score Dec!!!
T Dogg again: Did i say that a little lowd lads!!!


14. Max:If i met Bryan Habana i'd actually give him head.
Crotty: Thats going up on Bebo.
Max: I dont care i still would, loyke.


15. Science teacher; If you drank etanol ( pure alcohol ) not only would it kill you but you could ACTUALLY GO BLIND!!!

16. Des: Eva goes"wats d opposite of a mixed school"
Moloney: A fukn Boarding school


17. Moloney: Idunno any of them, I just no 1 of them.

18. Moloney: I want to go to where home and away is filmed when were in Oz,
Des: I'd love ta go over to New Zealand.
Moloney: Id actually love to go to Tokyo!!
Des: Will we walk!!!

19. Moloney:I was about to say something there.
Des: Fair play ta ya!!!

20. Moloney: So how young would ya go???
Des: About 4!!!

21. Moloney: Who won the under fourteen league??
Me: Christians
Moloney: Christians under fourteens???

22. me: A taste of my carbonara and ul b in my bed in a flash!!
Sarah: Ya, in bed with food poisoning!!

23. Ronan: It's 2000 euro a head
Freddie: That's bullshit... I can get head off a chineese one for a fiver!!!

24. Ardal o'Hanlon : I bought a lump of ham the other day and i flipped it over to have a look at the ingredients. It said contains 70% water. Sher thats not ham at all its ham flavoured water!!!


25. Marcus: Shut up guys i never slag anyone, apart from john or Michael or when I call Jack a lanky Russian
Jack: Thanks Marcus

26.. Jack: Is bejaesus a killkenny word?

27. John: Guys I'm just going to say I'm gay, just so it's not funny to slag me about it any more.
Nick: haha you straight bastard!

28.</